


Yukanol Fukov

by A26



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Awkward Boners, Awkward Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Barebacking, Bottom Erwin Smith, Cleaner! Levi, Eruren to Eruriren, Financial Broker! Erwin, Frottage, House Cleaning, Language Barrier, Language Kink, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Modern AU, Nile is a snotty teenager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Personal Trainer! Eren, Pining Levi, Polyamory, Riding, Sexual Tension, Sleepy Cuddles, Spitroasting, Switching, Table Sex, Thirsty Levi, Unintentional Bleach-Related Shenanigans, levi has a potty mouth, russian!Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:43:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 60,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9109087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A26/pseuds/A26
Summary: Levi is a Russian immigrant in England working shifts at a factory by night and cleaning residentially by day. He is hired by Erwin and Eren, a married couple - to help clean their house.Cue the hilarity that naturally ensues when you get a stranger who barely speaks English in to clean your house and they're way more thorough than you'd ever expected they would be...Hide your porn, boys. Hide it well or it might turn back up alphabetised, date ordered and thoroughly disinfected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arlene0401](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/gifts), [sciencefictioness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencefictioness/gifts), [seraphichan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphichan/gifts), [Kahleniel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahleniel/gifts).



> Finally, I hear you all saying. 
> 
> Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Please, please at some point go read this!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10311314)

I’m sat on my dingey forty year old granny sofa, listening to the news my thousand year old vampiric flatmate likes to blare out through her bedroom wall at four in the afternoon. The reporters speak so fast I can barely understand what they’re saying. I found myself a flat on the cheap as long as I'm quiet and spare a couple hours a week to cook for this old biddy and keep her company so her estranged kids can remain estranged. Pity, she's a lovely lady. Getting old though. 

She’s not allowed to croak until I have enough cash to afford my own place. I swear to god if she dies and I'm homeless during winter I’ll go and shit on her grave. 

Anyway, my phone rings. Unknown number. 

“Hello?” I say, a little heavy on the H with my thick Russian accent.

“Oh good evening, my name is Erwin Smith and I’ve got your residential cleaning leaflet, is now a good time to talk?” 

“Oh,” I’ve been so busy I forgot about those. “Yes.” 

“Great, well I was hoping you might be able to help us with some general household chores a few times a week.” 

“Okay.” Another job, more money. Good. I grab a notebook and a pen off the table and jot down his address. 

“I come meet you tomorrow, yes?” I ask. People tend to like a courtesy call before they let you loose in their pigsties. I hear England is big on politeness so I'm trying my best. 

“Yes that would be great, does ten suit you?” I get off at seven so it gives me time to get ready. 

“Yes, okay.” 

I hang up and make a note in my calendar, overhearing the old woman coughing half a lung out. Forty decades of smoking will do that to you. 

Anyway, skipping over my bullshit night shift at the car factory (where I work an assembly line), I clean myself up and fill the car with my various cleaning supplies. The car and it’s contents are immaculately organised and clean, despite the car being a second hand heap of crap. It runs, so I can't complain. 

Smith’s house is close by. It's in a higher end part of town. I park out front and eye the place up. It's big. Four, maybe five bedrooms. Looks like shit and the outside needs work. That's why I’m here. 

I see a lot of houses as a cleaner so nothing surprises me anymore. I’ve seen it all and no mess bothers me. Each time I meet with a new client however there’s the inevitable language barrier that could crop up. Fortunately my two other regulars are Belarusian and Ukrainian families so they both understand Russian. We get along well and share common hatred for certain things, so it's all good. Just wish they needed more help so I could earn more. 

This place though, this is a big house, with a shiny black sports car sat in the drive with a plate from this year. It makes my fifteen year old piece of shit look exactly that: a piece of shit. No doubt Mr. Smith will have enough for me to do. He’ll pay well too. I’ll make sure of it. 

I knock and it's not long before there's a rustle at the door. I quickly check myself over to ensure I’m presentable. Black trousers and a smart black shirt, combed hair and not a thing in the world I can do about the bags under my eyes. 

The man is tall, well built and blonde. He's got broad shoulders and has a suit on, minus the jacket. Must be home from work to set me up. He looks a little Scandinavian but I could be wrong, he sounds very English. 

“Good morning, Levi is it?” He says, welcoming me inside. I shake his hand and nod, clocking the wedding ring he’s wearing. He shows me through to the living room and I take a brief look around. The house is not awful, but definitely needs a deep clean. You can tell a lot about how a person lives based on the cleanliness of their home. My best bet with this one is he’s a workaholic. Too tired to clean or some bullshit like that. 

“It's nice to meet you,” he says, smiling at me a little awkwardly. I can tell a well polished smile when I see one. This guy is so fake. People are often embarrassed when they have to get someone in for the first time. I can tell when they’re virgins to this. 

“Mm, you never get cleaner before?” I ask, trying to ease him into the idea of hiring me. I'm trying my best. Unfortunately I can't exactly smooth talk people in a language I’m about as well trained in as a native three year old. 

“Oh,” he's trying to work out what I said. “No I haven't. We figured we’d just get someone to help with things like the floors and the downstairs parts really. Maybe a bit in the garden when it warms up?” I nod along and he leads me through a side door into the kitchen. To the left is a dining room at the front of the house and to the right is a conservatory which looks more like a home gym. In front of us is the kitchen. It's a well built house, just it's in a bit of a mess. Nothing I can't handle. 

“I can do. You need deep clean though,” I assure him, hunching over to check under a sideboard, making myself look far more professional than perhaps I ought to. 

“Oh we just need some help with small things, it's really nothing much,” he says. He said that earlier though, why is he repeating himself? 

“I clean for you,” I tell him. “When?” 

“How does Monday, Wednesday and Friday sound?” He says. I shake my head. I have my other client on Wednesday. 

“No good. I do Monday, Thursday, Saturday. Yes?” 

“Uh, yes that should be fine, thank you. When can you start?” He asks. It's Thursday now. 

“I start now,” I tell him. I need the money and I haven't got another client today. Erwin looks surprised, his eyes widening as he blubbers about something too fast for me to understand. 

“No no, it fine, I have on car, I be right back,” I assure him. Calm your tits, I'm just here to clean, not watch you masturbate. 

He resigns and lets me get on with my work. He tells me he’ll be in the living room working so I start with the kitchen. I start by familiarising myself with the layout, finding things like trash bags and buckets. It takes me three hours to blitz the kitchen and I'm still not done yet. 

Erwin comes through a few times while I'm working and comments on how thorough I am. As if you’d pay someone to wipe over just the counters without moving anything. I’m a soapy water and elbow grease kinda guy. I love knowing I've gone in and left nothing untouched. It's as clean as it gets. 

“Would you like a cup of tea?” He asks, piquing my interest from my spot hunched beneath the counter, cleaning the side of the fridge I pulled away from the wall. 

“Oh, yes,” I tell him. I’m fairly thirsty now he’s mentioned it but I was too focused on doing my job to think about it. 

“Where are you from?” Erwin asks. 

“Russia.” 

“Oh, my mother is Lithuanian, but I don't speak much Russian I’m afraid.” He smiles again. My interest has been piqued. 

“You speak Lithuanian?” It's a stab in the dark but it's worth asking. This guy sounds about as English as a buttered crumpet. 

“I’m afraid I only know a few words,” he said apologetically, rubbing his neck. 

“Oh?” I ask, looking up from my cleaning for a moment to stand and stretch my back out. I'm done with the fridge anyway so I gently ease it back into place. 

“Uh, forgive me if I pronounce this horrifically wrong but, ‘good morning’?” He asked in Lithuanian. It was close enough. 

“Ah, good morning!” I mirror back in the same language, only pronounced better. So he does know a few words, probably not enough to even ask for directions, let alone hold a conversation. 

He hands me a cup of tea after I instruct him to leave it black. Milk does awful things to my bowels. I’m here to clean the toilets, not paint them. 

“Thank you,” I tell him, he smiles. “Married, yes?” I ask. He smiles a real smile this time and nods once, finishing stirring his own tea and turning to face me, both leaning against the counters with a mug each in hand. 

“Yes, married. My partner is at work. He works at the gym just down by the Rose pub. Do you know it?” 

“I have been there last week,” I say. Petra, one of my few other Russian friends in England dragged me out for drinks before I started work. That had been regrettable. 

But oh, a _he_ , huh. I won’t ask about him now. I’ll save that nugget of information for later. 

“How about you, are you married?” Erwin asks of me after a short moment of silence. I shake my head and sip my tea. 

“No.” I’d rather keep that conversation a short one. I quickly finish my tea and move to the sink to wash up, leaving it on the side to dry as per Erwin’s insistence. “How you say in English, single pringle?” I say, unable to prevent the rolling of my R’s and the long ‘ee’ sound whenever a word with an I crops up. Erwin laughs softly when I say that. Seems the English like it when I pick up on their colloquialisms. 

“How long have you been in England?” he asks. Probably assessing my piss poor English skills. Fucking ask me a question in five other languages and I can tell you whatever the fuck you want to know. 

“Two months,” I tell him, starting to collect my cleaning supplies since I’m more or less done with the kitchen now. I would have liked to have done more though. 

“Why the move?” he asks. It’s a common question. I get it a lot. I shrug. I don’t want to get into it right now. 

“You need more today?” I ask, fully prepared to keep going and fully prepared to ignore any more personal questions. He seems to catch on and smiles, shaking his head. 

“No, gosh that is more than enough. Thank you so much for coming.”

We briefly discuss payment and agree on cash by day. He pays me the amount by hour listed on my leaflet and I tell him it's half price for the first two days and there is no need to pay me for Saturday. He thanks me again and I leave after writing out a receipt, tired but glad for the work and the money. I have work again tonight so I need to get home and sleep while my flatmate is at Bingo or wherever the hell she goes during the day. 

Thankfully our small talk had been exactly that: small. I'm not a big talker and especially given I don't know half the words to express my own interests, it's tough to make English friends. At least Petra speaks a little better English than me so she helps me out when she can. She's busy with her job most of the time though, much like myself. 

Anyway, I manage to get home at a reasonable hour and squeeze in six hours of sleep from three to nine, up and out and punching in at the factory for a ten o’clock start. 

I’ve got the daytime off tomorrow to hopefully sleep before tomorrow night’s shift and then it’s back to Erwin’s place to crack on with the house. 

It's weird though, how certain people leave an impression on you. He’d been nothing but polite to me, very British in that sense. He was pleasant and polite and unmemorable by all means, but I still found my mind drifting to those broad shoulders or wondering what his husband was like. 

Guess I’ll just have to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

So I’ve done the old hag’s shopping and made her dinner for the week, frozen everything left over, etcetera. I’m back at the Smith’s tomorrow so I have to focus and get down to the laundromat before work which means two hours less of sleep than I usually get which means I’m gonna look like fucking hell tomorrow but what can you do. 

Rent is extortionate and the factory pays a pittance which is why I had to go for the slightly higher wage by hour on the night shift as well as working day hours. People expect fucking miracles for nothing in this country, Jesus. 

Anyway back to the Smith’s. I’ve done the cleaning there three times now, all during the late morning when Erwin is working from home. Every time I go he’s in the office upstairs for the most part and he lets me get on with my job. I cleaned the mantle over the fireplace in the lounge the other day and found a few photos of him and a young kid. He did tell me he has a son. I picture the mother must have dark hair, since the kid is kinda… brown. 

Not half bad if he wasn’t about fourteen. Ugh. I shudder at the thought of banging a fourteen year old and crack on with taking all of my dusters out to the car, driving myself to the laundromat and getting on with my own chores. 

Work is uneventful. A colleague almost rivets my hand to a door, so that´s entertaining. The idiot. 

I’m up, the cloths are folded and prepared, I do a quick run to the store to get a few extra window cleaners and I’m driving out to the posh end of town to the Smith’s house. 

I pull up and there’s the same black sports car with the addition of another car I haven’t seen before. It’s a red polo with some obnoxious fucking paint job, blue lightning travelling up the hood. Ugly as fuck. 

“Jesus,” I mutter as I approach the house, ringing the bell with my cleaning caddy in hand. Any caddy ought to contain the following: bleach, limescale spray, window cleaner and a liquid cleaner for the bowls of hot water. You need your rubber gloves to keep that shit off your hands, at least three types of cloth for wiping, scrubbing and dry buffing and then you need a flat head screwdriver for taking paint off light fixtures and a toothbrush for small areas and grout. 

And of course, an apron. 

Fucking biddy used mine for making damn cookies for her million grandkids that never visit, so I’m stuck with hers today. Fucking fabulous. Fucking old woman I hope she- 

The door opens. 

It’s Erwin. 

“Good morning Levi,” he says, chipper as always, returning inside to continue with whatever it was he was doing. He’s a currency broker. Works on commission so spends most of his time smooth talking his clients into spending big bucks. Sounds like a total douche canoe on the phone. His colleagues probably eat him out at work for talking like such a pretentious asshole, hence why he works at home. 

“Hi.” 

“Let me get you a cup of tea-” 

“No, is okay, just had,” I lie. I just want to get on with my work today and leave. He said he only needs me for a couple of hours but I always stay for at least four to five hours depending on how thorough I’m cleaning. Sometimes it can take two hours on one unit because of the sheer amount of shit this man has on it. 

I like to take everything off the shelves, clean the shelves, move the shelves away from the wall, clean behind them, put everything back on the shelves, clean each one first and return them to their exact order. Nothing worse than someone fucking up your specific locations, so I leave everything as I find it, just a million times more friendly for children and babies and those easily susceptible to disease. 

I head through to the kitchen and hear thumping in the conservatory. My head instantly turns to look and I get an eyeful of bare back. No, there ain’t someone in there fucking without a condom - I mean this guy hasn’t got a shirt on. He’s running on the treadmill, sweat rolling down his neck and between his shoulderblades. Fuck those are nice shoulders. 

“Fuck,” I mutter, walking past instead of ogling the guy, turning the corner in the kitchen into the small laundry space beside a toilet and a pantry at the back. It’s a room that sits next to the dining room, but is hidden away. Erwin has given me some space to leave a few bigger items in here such as his hoover and mop supplies. 

In the few times I’ve been here I’ve managed to tickle the living room, dining room and front porch and I’ve almost finished the deep clean in the kitchen. Today’s task is to toothbrush the floor tiles with boiling bleach water after removing everything from every single cupboard, date checking all the mouldy ass food I’m probably gonna find and washing down all the units. 

I scrape a fingernail over the wooden cabinets. 

Dark brown grime. Lovely. 

I strap my old biddy’s apron on. It’s awful. It’s brown and orange and green and quite possibly floral somewhere in there too. It’s also way too big on me. I’m only five four with my tallest shoes on and this woman was probably a giant in a past life. 

These doors are probably going to turn up a completely different shade of brown. It’ll be as if they were replaced. That’s indeed what it looks like when I finish some three hours later. Whoever was in the conservatory has been in there this entire time. The noise has stopped though so he must be stretching or something. 

I crook my head around to see through the clear sliding door and that’s the guy from the pictures in the lounge. Must be Erwin’s son. He’s got a young face from what I can see and a stupid fucking car. I groan internally because this guy can’t be much older than sixteen, seventeen at a push, and he’s damn ripped. He’s lying on a yoga mat in the conservatory, lifting his hips up and holding them in place before slowly lowering them. 

Erwin’s footsteps coming downstairs gets both mine and the ripped guy’s attention and I return to kneeling on the floor, scrubbing each and every tile with a firm hand brush before getting into the nitty gritties with the toothbrush. I’m not even half way and I’ve already had to change the water three times because of how filthy it is, ingrained into the tiny grooves of the tile over the years. 

“Wow, Levi!” Erwin’s voice sounds over the island. I look up. He’s staring at the cupboards with awe on his face which extends further when his eyes fall to the floor behind me - the part I’ve cleaned. “It’s like new!” 

I don’t answer him, just stand, and the guy from the conservatory comes through, hands on his hips and takes in my handiwork as well. 

“Damn,” he says, his voice deeper than I was expecting. He’s taller in person, too. 

“This your son, yes?” I ask Erwin, since I know him marginally better than the stranger. They both share a look that I can’t decipher before bursting out into laughter. The fuck? My English isn’t that good but fucking Christ, guys, no need to be such a fucking wanker about it. They must notice the sour glare on my face because they ease off the laughing and Erwin’s arm drapes over the other man’s shoulder as they smile mirthfully. 

“No, no Levi, this is Eren my husband,” he hurries to say, making me miss half the words in his haste for clarity. I just about pick out Eren and husband, giving me enough details to piece together the fact that I was ogling my employer’s spouse. 

Oops. (I’m not sorry.) 

“Oh, hello,” I say. “I clean for Mister Erwin,” I inform Eren, who probably already knows, given he lives here. Since when the hell do I say pointless shit all of a sudden? 

“I noticed, you’re very good,” he says a little too slowly to not be patronising. I can understand him just fine though, which I’ll never admit is a relief, even if it does make me feel like an idiot. 

“I know.” 

They both laugh. Erwin offers to make tea and Eren quickly informs me he’s going to go and put a shirt on. I don’t miss the way he looks down at me in my ugly little frumpy apron as if I’m some sort of charity case. I nod to Erwin just to get him away from me and I quickly tell him to fill the kettle to the max so I can change my water. 

Erwin deals with the tea as I finish up the tile I’m working on and make a mental note of where I got up to, leaving the firm hand brush on the next dirty tile so I don’t forget. I stand and take my black tea, thanking Erwin for making it. 

Eren returns and takes his own tea from Erwin while the man sorts his own out last.

“Great to finally meet you, mate!” Eren says, shaking my hand a little too firmly for two people holding scalding hot beverages. Idiot. I refrain from glaring for the time being, keeping my expression neutral as always. 

“He’s so good, he just gets on with it and never complains,” Erwin says with a smile. 

“Too right, look at the floors!” Eren says, pressing his hand to his mouth in awe after he’s done speaking way too quickly for me to understand. It’s unfortunate that Eren is one of those guys who is always much better to look at than listen to. Erwin is the other way around. I can listen to him for hours talking about everything and nothing, although his looks are a little further from my type. 

Between them they make a nice couple.

“So you’re from Russia yeah?” Eren asks, I look up from my mug. 

“I was born in Belarus and my parents move to Russia for work. I have live in Saint Petersburg before I come to England,” I explain, glad I finally have both of them here at once so I won’t have to repeat myself. They seem to understand most of it, if not for a few words. Probably trying to figure out whether Belarus is a city in Russia. I can literally see the gears turning in Eren’s mind. 

“Ah, nice, I’m from South London,” Eren explains with what is apparently a very obvious ‘South London’ twang to his accent, before pointing to Erwin. “He’s from up north.” 

“Oxford isn’t exactly north,” Erwin frowns at his husband. I’m none the fucking wiser so I wait for them to start talking something I understand. 

“Fine, more north than where we are now, does that count?” Eren tries. Erwin just shakes his head and turns his attention back to me while sipping his tea. I find mine has disappeared much quicker than usual, wanting to wriggle away from awkward small talk when I should really be cleaning. I set the mug down by the sink but Eren has more questions. I do my best to be polite but also to get on with my work at the same time, trying to maintain eye contact while trying to toothbrush dirt out of the floor tiles. 

He asks me a few typical questions, but the age question is a new one that hasn’t come up yet. 

“I’m thirty-four,” I tell him. He fills me in on their ages in return. Erwin is forty-two and Eren is twenty-five. Apparently they met when Eren was at University. Ended up going to the same gym where Eren began his apprenticeship when he was studying and finally ended up getting a job once he had a degree in hand. Or at least that’s what I can make out from what he´s telling me. He seems to be saying a lot of words for portraying such a small amount of information. 

Perhaps it’s a language thing I’m not understanding. 

Probably the case, I let it slide. I’ll dislike him for his stupid car and his stupidly sexy body that in no way is twenty-five. I’m about to start on the floor beneath the small freezer under the island, standing up to move it out and Eren hurries over, making me startle with the sudden movement. He says something too but hell if I know what he said. 

“Hey let me help, that’s heavy-” Eren starts, but I’ve moved it out in the time it took him to set his cup of tea down.

“No is okay I move no problem,” I tell him and he’s gawking at me but I turn quickly to focus back onto the cleaning. I do a lot of manual labour at the factory and I work out almost every day to make the job easier on myself. I need to be in top physical form to pull the stupid hours I do. I’d starve if I didn’t. Either way, they can see I’m busy so they wish me a good afternoon and go about their business. 

I overhear them talking in the dining room as I scrub away under the counter. 

“Just think we could set him loose on Nile’s room,” Eren says. I can’t see the face Erwin pulls but it must be one of distaste. I wonder who Nile is before they continue. 

“No, we have to do some of it ourselves, we can’t just rely on someone else to do everything for us, Eren.” 

“Well you’re already paying him to do most of it, and he’s really good, too, so why not?” 

“Because, we ought to be able to keep on top of things by ourselves, you know?” Erwin counters. Please Lord Eren convince him to keep me. 

“There’s no harm in asking for help, Erwin,” Eren says. “Besides,” Eren’s voice drops low, but still loud enough to be audible. Turns out South Londoners are naturally loud even when they’re trying to be discreet. “You didn’t tell me he was kinda cute,” he sings, making me drop my toothbrush in the boiling water. 

“Fuck,” I mumble in Russian as I dig it out of the hot water, gloves keeping most of the heat off my hands. They don’t seem to notice my eavesdropping, so I keep scrubbing. 

Eren comes over after Erwin wandered off back to work and sits at one of the island stools. 

“So do you clean houses for a lot of people?” 

“Three now, but I hope for more,” I tell him honestly. 

“Yeah, rent is expensive in London,” he says. I narrow my eyes at him. His husband seems more than capable of looking after his ‘rent’. That is if they even pay a mortgage. They probably own the place outright, lucky comfortable fuckers.

“I know,” I say mournfully. “I work two jobs. I hope I can start business, you know?” Eren looks surprised. 

“A cleaning company?” 

“Yes.” 

“Oh neat, what would you call it?” Hoh, I’d never thought of that. I shrug. 

“I didn’t think of this, maybe Squad Levi?” I say as a joke with a snort of amusement. Eren smiles along with it. But one day I would love to sleep at normal hours and have a team of cleaners to go out for me. I could afford a nice place, pay my cleaners well and even branch out into odd jobs or gardening. I could have my own elite team of cleaners if only I had the cash. I’d need to research how to do it too, pretty sure England has rules. 

“Well I wish you good luck,” Eren says to me with a warm smile. I nod at him and turn back to the floor since I’m almost done. Just a final mop and we’re good to go. 

Eren disappears into the other room and when I emerge with all of my supplies and a clean ass kitchen in my wake, Erwin gets up and shuffles over to the office side of the lounge and picks his wallet up off the table. Eren is wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, half asleep. Dare I admit to myself it’s adorable. Erwin hands me some cash and I stare at it. 

“Erwin, this is too much-” 

“Consider it a tip, you’ve done a great job,” he says softly, closing my hands around the money. I refrain from smiling despite feeling pretty damn happy right about now, and nod, thanking him. 

“See you in a couple of days,” Erwin says. 

“Yes, see you.”


	3. Chapter 3

I do see the Smiths again in a couple more days. 

Then the couple of days after that, and again, and again. 

Before I know it I’ve deep cleaned the entire ground floor and have reduced my hours somewhat because there’s less to do- just regular surface cleans now. It has taken me three weeks and approximately fifty solid hours to do it all by myself. It does feel a lot better even though I’m already planning out the next deep clean in the new year. 

Three weeks though and I’ve never stepped foot upstairs. Some people are like that, I guess. They only trust you so far. If the downstairs needed as much treatment as it did, upstairs will probably be no different so I’ve been gently pressing Eren to have me clean the entire house top to bottom, telling him I’m willing to do everything and everywhere. 

Isn’t there some sort of bullshit saying about women controlling their husband’s wallets or something? Anyway it’s obvious that Erwin is Eren’s sugar daddy. Entertaining to watch, too. He acts all stoic and serious but that kid’s got him wrapped around his little finger like some fucking trophy wife. It’s funny how easily Eren can get his way with the tall blond, hence why I’m focusing my attacks at Eren. Eren is the one with the power. 

Another shitty thing that happened within the last couple of weeks was the factory cut my hours. I’m on one of those damned zero hour contracts so they’ve got the liberty of saving costs wherever they fancy. Turns out it was my department this time, so they’re reducing the man hours. Now I work four nights instead of six. It’s not a drastic change in money but it’s noticeable. I’m not putting away as much toward savings as I was each week. 

That and there’s sending money home to my family. 

I failed to mention them so far because my dickwad of a step-dad disowned me when he found out I was gay and took my mum and my siblings with him. I’m not bitter about it at all. I’m still in touch with my brother though, so I send them money to help out where I can. They’re in a worse place than me, so I really need to work hard to support them. The economy is shit back home. Still fucking bitter about that asswipe though. I’ve known my own family for longer than you have you dick, what gives him the right to take them, eh? 

To be fair, they chose to go with him, which is what hurt the most. 

Anyway enough one employer fucking me over and back to the other employers whom I wish would fuck me over. Over their kitchen table, preferably. 

“Levi!” Eren greets me the next time I show up, slinging his arms around me and hugging me far more tightly than I’m comfortable with. This guy is gorgeous and married and gorgeous. And married. Note to Levi’s dick: the brat is fucking married so don’t get any smart ideas it’s a fucking hug. 

Hang on though, _why_ is he hugging me? Fuck, I can feel his pecs through his tight polo shirt. Hang on, he’s dressed for work. 

“Levi, I gotta run, but I’ll be back in a few hours, just do your thing, yeah?” he says in a hurry, thrusting a set of keys into my hand and shuffling around me to get outside. Odd. 

“Uh, okay,” I dumbly say, mind still in a bit of a mess as to where the hug came from. My mind had been kindly providing me with lewder and lewder thoughts as of late, all involving one or the other, but mostly Eren. Stupid sexy Eren. Damn is he out of my league though. 

Where the hell is he in a rush to get to? Maybe he has a client. I close the door behind him after he briskly waves to me and pulls out of the drive. I turn to look around the living room. No Erwin. 

“Mister Smith?” I try calling out. No response. I’m in the house alone. I physically walk around the downstairs just to check. Erwin’s car wasn’t out front so he must be at work too. 

I stare at the stairwell for longer than I probably should, my curiosity pulling at my common sense. I have absolutely no need to go up there other than to assess the cleanliness and doing so would be a complete breach in their trust of me. I swiftly move to my caddy and pull my gloves and apron on, tying my hair back and fastening it under a handkerchief to keep it clean while I dust. 

The dusting takes an hour. Still no sign of Erwin or Eren. I do the dishes and whatever laundry is hanging around downstairs since no one’s here to tell me not to do it. It feels strangely satisfying being able to do the chores they put off and leave out all week or purposefully tell me not to do. I want to go the extra mile and get it all done, that’s what they pay me for. I’m fast, too, so it’s no big deal. I can clean anything. 

When the washing is done, I can’t help but notice a small piece of fabric too misshapen to be a sock, lying on the tiled floor by the washing machine. I hunch over and pick it up, untangling it from the washed state it was in. It’s a black lace thong. Surprised, I look at it for a moment before frowning. 

Does Erwin have a woman on the side? Or is it Eren with the lover? The hell is going on in this marriage that I can’t see? They seem pretty happy together from what I could tell. Maybe I’m just really damn bad at reading people. I decide I won’t bring it up, and continue to process the garment through the wash with everything else, acting as if I hadn’t seen it. 

Following that disturbing little discovery, I do all of the floors and end up at the bottom of the stairs with everywhere wet around me. I move the caddy into the front door porch and seriously consider mopping out to the staircase to block myself from going upstairs. 

It doesn’t happen. 

I leave all my supplies by the front door and make a quiet beeline for the steps, testing out which ones creak and which ones don’t. Just in case. Man, this feels so wrong, but I’m so damn curious it’s killing me. There’s a huge stained glass window at the turn of the stairs that needs an indefinite clean and you turn around 180 degrees to hit the second set of steps to the landing. I poke my head up to make sure no one’s home, which no one is, and take a glance into the first open door on my left at the top of the stairs. 

It’s a spare bedroom/storage room by the looks. It’s got fitted wardrobes and a window that overlooks the long back yard, the room itself positioned just above the rear end of the lounge. It looks like a dumping ground for furniture and boxes and dust and ugh. Fifty shades of _No_. 

The next bedroom, directly at the top of the stairs, is the master, at the front of the house. It’s reasonably tidy but everywhere I go up here I can tell is in dire need of a clean. The wood floors are looking dark from padding feet over the years and really needs a good sand and re-varnish in places. Hell, the whole thing could use a freshen up. I wonder how many years Erwin’s lived here. The house feels quite old and they’ve definitely invested in more home improvements downstairs than anywhere else. 

I take a quick look down the hall before even dreaming of snooping around the couple’s bedroom, finding a master bathroom on the right, a locked room on the left which must be Erwin’s son’s room and a messy fucking study at the far end. Needless to say upstairs seems smaller than downstairs. That might just be because I’ve cleaned downstairs almost entirely. The guys still have some organising and throwing out to do. I turn on my heels and quickly make toward the master bedroom, keen to see the state of their skirting boards, how much dust is on the tops of the dressers, what their laundered clothes look like in the wardrobes. 

There’s an ensuite with a shower on the right hand side as you enter, with the impressive bed on the left surrounded by many fitted wardrobes. The shower needs a good Midas touch. I could do that. If they just let me up here to clean. In time, I imagine, it’ll happen. 

I pad over to the wardrobe beside what looks like Eren’s side of the bed if the dark hair on the pillow is anything to go by. I’d lint roll that off if I had a roller on me. Fuck the mess is killing me. 

‘When the hell did I care so much about these two?’ I think to myself as I open up one of the wardrobes, finding inside a few suits and shirts still inside their dry cleaning covers with a bunch of shelves of barely-folded polo shirts and gym wear stuffed down the bottom. This must be Eren’s side. The next wardrobe over is definitely Erwin’s. There are a few narrow drawers on the left hand side of two hanging rails entirely comprised of suits. There’s a lot of charcoals and blue pinstripe suits, mainly two-piece, classic looks. 

I find myself unconsciously leaning in to sniff at the material. Damn, some of these smell like Erwin. Strong and musky and manly. Deciding I’d snooped way too much under the pretense of cleanliness, I’m about to close the wardrobe when I hear the front door. 

“Shit!” I whisper to myself as I hear footsteps immediately strike the staircase. Two sets of them followed by giggles and laughter. I panic, thrusting myself into the wardrobe beside the bed and closing the door on myself. 

My heart is pounding in my chest and I hope to dear sweet god that I don’t get caught. I can’t lose this job as well. The now muffled voices grow closer and I hear Eren’s voice hitch in a volume I’d never heard before, making me shuffle as silently as I can behind as many perfectly pressed suits as possible. Is that Eren’s lover? Fuck, is he actually having an affair? Wait...

“Erwin, hah, fuck yes,” Eren all but moans. Just great. I’m stuck in a fucking wardrobe while they have sex. 

“You like that huh?” Erwin replies from what I can tell through the fabric and closet doors. As I’m discovering, the wood of the doors on this thing is not thick. At all. 

“But what if Levi hears us?” Eren gasps out from whatever Erwin is currently doing to him. I vaguely hear a few slurping kiss noises as they both go quiet aside from a few low groans and an obvious dull creak of the bed as they both must have laid down. 

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” Erwin asks of his husband. My cock kindly provides me with the thought that it’s a damn shame I can’t watch them in the act. I’m already half hard. Fuck. Imagine that, fired ‘cause I was caught in the closet with a raging boner like some fucking creeper while they were having sex.

“Let’s make it quick, he’s probably in the back room,” Eren says. I clench my eyes shut and try blocking them out, but I realise I’d need my hearing to tell when they are done so I can’t cover my ears to help delay my inevitable hard on. 

All I hear for the next half an hour at least are low moans, shuffles and the bed fucking creaking. How long are they gonna do this? If their idea of foreplay is half a fucking hour long, I’d be long dead by the time I came. I can’t handle all that teasing shit. Hell, I can barely stand people touching me, let alone having sex. It’s disgusting. 

So, in that closet it’s needless to say a lot of my internal sexual frustrations does the talking for me. It isn’t until they start actually having sex do I start listening again, and hot damn if they aren’t going at it like animals. 

Eren lets out a low, guttural groan and I had taken a stab in the dark to guess he is topping? There is no way of me being able to tell, though. I dare not shift to check the crack between the doors in case I move or dislodge a suit or make any noise. I´m frozen into place while listening to them both moaning their heads off like horny bitches in heat. 

I need to get out of here without creaming my pants. I also need to get out of this closet without them noticing. 

“Fuck, Erwin, are you imagining I’m Levi, huh?” Eren growls out, his voice husky and tired as the creaks in the mattress speed up. 

My eyes open like deer in the headlight. The _fuck_ did he just say?

Erwin makes a dumb ass moaning noise like a low rumble in his throat and I can hear the faint lubricated slap of skin against ass. Mix that in with their heavy pants and my imagination is going places I hadn’t even dreamt of before. These guys are my _employers_. Our relationship is _strictly_ professional. Or at least it was until I heard them fucking and calling out my name. 

Awkward or what. 

“Fuck, Eren, yes, just like that, harder,” Erwin mutters, half of it disappearing into whatever he is using to muffle his voice. 

“You like that huh? Hell, you seen how tight those pants are, that tight little ass he’s got on him,” Eren keeps talking as I assume he thrusts into his husband. “You hired him just to have a pretty little thing around the house while I’m at work, eh?” 

Erwin moans. The hell? Is Eren getting off on this?

I can’t talk, hiding in a closet and harder than I’ve ever felt in my life. 

“With that sexy accent and broody mysteriousness,” Eren continues, sending arousal coursing through my body at the odd words about myself that I can understand. He is clearly using me as some sort of fantasy piece and by the way Erwin replies with his wanton moans and mewls of pleasure, I’d guess they are both attracted to me at least. 

“I bet he’s got a tight little ass, not like yours,” Eren says, followed by the resounding sound of a slap, followed by an uncharacteristically girly _yelp_ from Erwin. 

Honest to God it takes all the willpower I possess not to laugh a very ugly laugh in that moment. 

Their slapping noises die down and after about fifteen minutes of brisk exercise, the pair comes to a stop. I wait, ears physically burning with attentiveness mixed with pleasure and embarrassment - waiting for my signal that I would be able to escape. If indeed I’m granted a chance. 

The last thing I want was for them to fall asleep. I could be in here for fucking _hours_.

A shuffle. I sit still. The room is quiet. I can hear myself breathing and it feels too loud. The blood is rushing through my ears and it feels really noisy. I wonder, can they hear? They shouldn’t be able to. Fuck. I’m worried now. I need this job. 

“Let’s shower,” I hear faintly through the closet door, relief flooding over me and drenching me in it’s sweet, glorious release from the tension I’d had pent up in my shoulders and neck. My jaw aches from where I’d held it tightly shut for so long. My ass and back hurt from being curled up like this for almost an hour. 

Erwin agrees with Eren and I hear a rustle. Thankfully I don’t recall seeing any towels in this closet, but I do hear footsteps right outside followed by the closet door next to mine being opened before two sets of footsteps disappear into the ensuite. 

I wait patiently for another few moments before adjusting my position. 

I’m careful not to move too quickly or dislodge any suits from the rails. I gently lean against the door and check through just a sliver to see if they are both in the bathroom. I catch a quick glimpse of the open bathroom door - a tanned arm is dragging Erwin into the shower around the corner, out of sight. 

Now is my chance. 

I’m quick and I’m quiet and I manage to get myself out of the closet and back through the bedroom door and down the stairs and avoid all of the creaky steps and ignore all the giggles and splashing noises I can hear from the shower and I go straight through to the back pantry and lean up against the wall, glaring at my crotch. 

Full fucking mast. 

Fuck. 

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.


	4. Chapter 4

Eren and Erwin never find out about me being upstairs. I finish my work and wait just long enough for them to come down, half dressed and dripping wet, my caddy hiding my crotch in case I hadn’t gotten rid of my erection enough. 

It’s probably only a semi by the time I’d calmed myself down but still, I’m mortified. 

I’m out the door, probably sporting a bright red face and a pretty stony expression and I’m gone like the wind. In the car, get back home, check for biddy and get straight into that shower to jerk off. Fuck I’ve never been so aroused in my life. This is so ridiculous. 

I give myself some quick loving attention, all while imagining Eren in particular with that strong back and those gorgeous hips and those noises Erwin was making. Christ they’re both hot. 

I’m in such deep shit. Not only do I have the hots for one of them, but I’m jacking off to the sounds the other one was making. This is not normal. I mean sure, you can find people attractive, but two married men? Not a good idea. I’ll never get anywhere with either of them anyway, so what if they both like me. 

I groan loudly but not because of my orgasm. I’m frustrated because I chose to take interest in two only-English-speaking married greek gods. 

I force myself out of the shower after cleaning up and dry off, taking a waltz around the flat. I glance down at the newspaper on Biddy’s armchair table and then look around the room. I check her bedroom. Where the hell is she? I check my phone. No news from her kids who are actually old enough to understand how to text. Usually it’s the granddaughter Krista who I have to harass to get information out of but she’s not always the most helpful. 

I give her a call. 

“Hello? Levi?” 

“Yes,” I answer. 

“I suppose you’re wondering where Gran is. They had to take her into hospital earlier today while you were out. They said it wasn’t anything serious but they want to keep her for a few days.” She’s gonna ask me to- “take care of the place, yeah?” 

“I will, let me know if she get better. I can take home from hospital,” I offer, the W’s sounding a little more like V’s still when I speak and still quite heavy on the H’s. I’m learning a lot of the different sounds that the English language has, so at least my pronunciation isn’t as bad as it used to be. It helps being around people who speak English all of the time. I don’t get anywhere with my slavic friends since we all speak Russian. 

“Thank you, Levi. I’ll let you know, yeah?” 

“Yes, okay.” 

She hangs up and I find the conversation has suitably distracted me from whatever it was I was fretting about earlier. Until, in true sod’s law, I get a text from Erwin. He wants me to come in on one of my days off from our usual agreed days.

‘Can you come early tomorrow, 7AM? Thanks, Erwin’ I read aloud to myself. My pronunciation of Erwin comes across as a little more like Irvin, but he doesn’t ever correct me, so I guess it’s close enough. I type out a reply, mouthing it to myself as I do so to make sure I’m getting the spelling right. 

‘I finish work 7, is 7:30 ok?’ and hit send. He replies almost instantly. 

‘Yes that’s fine. See you then, thanks.’ 

I wonder what he wants me for that early in the morning. Usually I start at ten, giving me time to at least shower after my shift. I quickly handle a few more texts to various people, arranging a drink with Petra and her friends as well as a work day change for my Ukrainian family since they’re going on holiday in the start of December. 

I check my bank account while I’m at it. I’m doing okay. Great. Time for a few hours of sleep before my shift. 

I find myself putting extra detail into my appearance the following morning. I feel like I’ve ironed my shirt about four times (when in reality it was probably eight), and I can’t get my pants to sit right on my hips so I opt for a belt, tucking everything in and finally having to force myself out the door before I'm late. 

It’s nearing the end of November so I have to start wrapping up a little warmer. A thin jacket and a sweater is enough. I’m used to worse. England apparently rarely drops below zero, unlike Russia. This is like the tropics to me. It’s great. 

The rain I could do without though. England is like someone in a constantly bad mood, pissing on everyone around them with their misery. Cheer the fuck up, country. Okay?

Anyway. I pull up to the Smith’s and both cars are out front. Erwin lets me in and Eren is on the phone in the living room as I pass by. Erwin starts chatting about work and I vaguely listen. I feel a little awkward knowing what this guy sounds like in bed. Not to mention the fact that he takes it up the ass like a fucking champ. 

“Nah,” Eren’s voice sounds as he comes through, making his way into the kitchen to root through the cupboards. “I broke up with Jean like a week ago. Nah, trust me it was amicable.” 

I’m confused. 

These two are married right? Then who the hell is Jean and why are there women’s underwear in the wash? 

I feel like screaming but on the outside I make sure my expression is straight and calm and collected. I probably would have picked up on this fucked up situation sooner and understood it if my English was better. 

Eren moves through the kitchen, past Erwin and kisses him briefly, winking at me and I can’t help but widen my eyes a little in shock. Does he know? 

“Uh-” 

“So, Levi- I called you here early because we have an extra job for you, that is, if you don’t mind…” Erwin starts to explain and my eyes flit toward Eren in the conservatory taking his shirt off and hunching over to stretch. Fuck that ass is nice. I snap my attention back to Erwin. 

“Anything, I clean,” I assure him, voice coming out a little weaker than I’m comfortable with. He smiles that charming relaxed smile of his and I swear it turns my knees weak. Why the hell did I have to choose this job of all people. Fuck I’m gonna have blue balls by the end of today. 

“So we were hoping you could help with the conservatory today, and then upstairs,” Erwin starts, making my heart jump for two completely different reasons. 

“Yes, I help,” I say. 

“So just the windows for now, but I have Nile my son coming to stay in a couple of weeks and I’d like to have his bedroom cleaned before he arrives,” Erwin explains. I nod along. My phone starts to vibrate in the front pocket of my apron and I do my best to ignore it until Erwin tells me I’m allowed to answer it. 

“Sorry,” I tell him, fishing my phone out. It’s Petra. 

“The fuck do you want, I’m at work,” I answer, able to speak much more quickly and freely in my native tongue. I turn slightly and head over toward the dining room for a little privacy. 

“Levi! Hey honey, are you well?” 

“Yeah I’m at work and Jesus it’s awkward,” I tell her quietly, eyeing over my shoulder to check on the two of them. Erwin has gone over to the sliding glass door to meet with Eren. They’re both looking my direction and practically leering. Maybe I’m just seeing things. 

“What’s up?” Petra asks me. I turn away, convinced that their lecherous stares are all a figment of my imagination. I’m their housekeeper. They are married. No way are they interested in me. No way did I hear them saying my name while they were having sex yesterday. 

“Fuck, I think my clients have the hots for me.” 

“What? Are they hot at least?” Petra laughs. I scowl, checking over my shoulder again to find Eren’s attention far further south than my face. I groan internally. They’re awfully quiet and I get the feeling they’re listening to me talking in Russian. I sure hope they don’t speak any Russian, otherwise I’m fucked. 

“God yes, but I’ll tell you about it later, what did you want?” I cut to the chase. 

“Drinks tonight yeah? You’re off?” 

“Yeah, same place?” 

“Yeah, I’ll bring Oluo and the boys,” she tells me, suggesting a guys night out. I haven’t had one of those in a while. Should be fun. It's the local haunt to this very neighbourhood actually so the bars don't feel quite so seedy. 

“Okay, yeah, sure.” 

“See you tonight yeah?” Petra asks as I glance over my shoulder again to spot the two men talking quietly, Eren’s eyes locked on me as they speak. It makes me uncomfortable. 

“Alright, bye,” I hang up, pocketing my phone. 

“Sorry, it was work,” I lie. They both nod and Eren moves over to the window, cracking one of them open, revealing the crud inside. 

“We were hoping you could help with-” 

“Yes it okay, I clean. Be right back,” I hurry, moving through the kitchen to the pantry to get away from them both staring at me like fucking wolves. Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe it’s just the events from yesterday making me see things. Snap out of it, Levi. Get yourself together. I collect myself and grab a few bits and pieces, a handheld hoover and a few rags, a toothbrush, the usual. I’m trying to focus my mind in on cleaning the conservatory windows. 

It helps for the most part as I get my bowl of water ready and add the liquid cleaner, head through to the conservatory and it stinks. 

“Fuck, you need to put air here,” I tell him, still a little grouchy at how much of a complete dick this guy is being, if only in my mind. 

“It’ll let the heat out of the rest of the house though,” Eren counters, currently stood in the corner and changing into some sweatpants, his gaudy orange underwear tighter than should probably be safe for his balls. Ugh, they hug his ass so nicely. 

I pull a face at the back of his head and slide the glass door shut, closing the room off from the rest of the house before rolling my eyes and turning to open the double patio doors. I’ll need to have the windows open anyway to clean them, so at least this way it will give me some coldness to distract myself. 

Eren laughs a little and I hear him step onto the treadmill and fire it up, the familiar thumps of his feet beginning. I am able to work quickly with the incentive of getting away from Eren as quickly as possible, and the conservatory only takes me about an hour and a half to clean through all of the cracks in all of the windows. I had to take a few out to get to all of the grime though, rinsing them down in the yard with the hose. 

“He’s so thorough,” I hear Erwin saying as he pokes his head into the conservatory. Eren is working on his weights at the moment.

“He’s so good,” Eren agrees. They’d stand there and praise me frequently, blown away by my speed and accuracy. That’s what they are paying me for after all, I’m not going to half-ass a job and leave them living in the squalor that was once their house. 

I pretend to not hear them, hunching over the removed window and scrubbing at the inside edges with a toothbrush, rinsing the crud off with a squeeze of water from my cloth. 

The undeniable feeling that I’m being watched doesn’t go away though. 

When I finish, leaving Eren in the conservatory to do his stupid sexy stretches, I consult with Erwin to find out what he wanted me to do upstairs. I grab my caddy and he leads the way. I notice the dirt on the stairs but I don’t say anything. The door that was previously locked along the hallway, opposite the bathroom, is now open.

It’s a bedroom. I was expecting worse, though. It’s tidy, but still in need of a clean. 

“He only stays during school holidays, so it’s probably a bit dusty,” Erwin says. I look around and nod at him, setting my caddy down and getting to work. I do a full clean on everything, but because all of the drawers and wardrobes are half-empty, it doesn’t take me long at all. 

Four hours later and I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since yesterday. My stomach growls loudly when Erwin appears at the door with a cup of tea. 

“I finish now,” I tell him as I set the final dry buffing cloth down, neatly folded. I accept the tea and take a sip. It’s black, just as I always have it. I might start suggesting they invest in some herbal teas. I love me a good peppermint.

“Good work, let’s get you paid so you can go,” he says, to which I am thankful for. He heads out and leaves me with my tea, returning with a handful of cash. 

“It’s a bit more, since it’s not your usual day.” 

“Thank you, when your son is come to stay?” I ask.

“Oh, in a couple of weeks, he’s staying for Christmas.” 

I hum, sipping my tea again to avoid eye contact and conversation. Once we’re downstairs again and I’m ready to go, Eren is nowhere to be seen and Erwin sees me off and wishes me well. 

Fast forward to this evening after six hours of daytime sleep, and I’m taking the long walk to the bar Petra has in mind. 

I let myself in and find the noticeable orange head of hair and petite frame that is Petra, and she's at a table with Oluo, Mike, Eld and Gunther. 

“Hey, Levi!” Petra calls out, hurrying over to pull me into a hug. I hug her back and nod at the rest of the guys. 

“Sorry I’m late,” I tell them. They’re clearly already on the second round, nearing their third. 

“Next round’s on Levi then!” Oluo chirps in. I roll my eyes and get everyone's orders. It’s still early but the bar is noisy and almost full already. A lot of youngsters. It’s a Friday night though so it’s to be expected. Thankfully I only have cleaning at the Smith’s tomorrow morning at ten, otherwise I have tomorrow night off. 

I’m gonna need it. I’m feeling exhausted. 

I head to the bar after getting everyone’s orders and precariously bring them to the table. After about three more rounds and when everyone’s had their fair share of conversation out of me, Petra moves from the opposite side of the table to let Eld and Gunther out, we wave them goodbye and Petra sits next to me. 

“So,” she says, excitement clear in her voice. She’s got that dirt-digging, shit eating grin on her face. “Spill.” 

“Spill what?” 

“Spill the gossip! Tell us about your hotties!” She orders me. I’ve had enough shots to loosen my tongue but I’m still feeling coherent. I glance up at Mike and Oluo who are now listening in, thanks to Petra’s loud ass pig squeals. 

“There’s nothing to tell. It’s a married couple I clean for,” I start. She ain’t buying it. 

“You said they were hot though?” 

“Didn’t you hear the part where I said they were a married couple?” I say, the pain of exasperation clear on my face. She pouts and returns to her cocktail. 

“Well at least you have a good view while you’re working,” Mike offers with a smirk. 

“That’s hardly the attitude to have. They’re married for a reason,” Oluo chimes in with that condescending attitude of his. 

“Exactly,” I tell them all. Petra just rolls her eyes. The bar is getting full and rowdy now, and Petra is clearly drunk. She pulls on my arm. 

“C’mon Levi, let’s dance!” She pulls harder on my arm and I crack a slight smile, letting her pull on my arm. Given how close we are we’d probably be dating if I wasn’t a complete fairy. The guys all know, despite me never voicing it. She treats me like a good friend and that’s all I want. She’s a good listener, too. Got a good head on her shoulders and she’d make any man damn lucky to have her. 

She drags me out through the bodies until she finds a little gap on the dance floor and she starts moving, hands on my shoulders and hips swaying rhythmically. I slip my hands around her waist and she smiles, cheeks flushed from the alcohol, dancing closer to me amidst the sway of all the other bodies around us. 

I can barely make out much of the conversation going on around us since it’s mainly all in English, but we’re minding our own business. I can dance if I’ve had enough to drink. I’ve done classes at the gym, I know how to move. We’re quite the sight if our audience is inebriated enough. 

We’re out on the floor dancing for about twenty-five minutes when Oluo pushes through the crowd, him and Mike having chased some tail on the other side of the dance floor in the meantime. 

“Hey, we’re getting out of here, you coming?” Mike shouts above the music. Petra shakes her head and dances a little closer to me. I shrug helplessly, bound to the dance floor by Petra. I wave them off and Petra drags me over to the bar to buy a couple more drinks. 

“This is gonna be my last one,” she tells me before setting her drink down beside mine. “Gonna go to the toilet,” she informs me before slinking off in her stilettos toward the ladies room. There’s a guy next to me making out with some woman, so I delicately pick both of our glasses up and shift a few bar stools over. The last thing I need to hear is the sounds of lips sloshing against each other. Ugh. 

Petra gets back in record timing and drags me back out to the dance floor. We dance probably a little sluttier than we ought to. I’m not ashamed. My last drink was a double and I’m starting to feel the slight haze of enjoyment.

“Hey Levi, I think he likes you,” Petra says, pointing my attention out toward someone dancing behind me. She perks her eyebrows up to the guy behind me and I have no idea who this guy is or if he’s hot, but I feel hands on my hips and the hot press of a firm, moving body up against my back before I have chance to turn. I’m usually not one for physical contact but hey, if Petra’s given him the okay, he must be at least half decent. I can feel his muscular chest and legs against the back of my body. 

Maybe being taken home by someone would get my mind off of the Smiths. Petra is caught up by some other guy dancing with her and I continue to practically writhe against the guy behind me. His hands slip around to my waist and dip down. To avoid any further awkward boners this week I turn in his arms to face him, looking up in the dim lighting to get a look at his face. 

Fucking hell.

I push him back, feeling instantly sobered up. 

“The fuck?” I curse in Russian at none other than Eren. He doesn’t look surprised it’s me. In fact, he looks drunk as fuck, eyes glazed and lips glossy and wet from where he’d been licking them. 

“Oh hey,” he sings, not sounding at all innocent like he’s trying to obnoxiously pretend. When I don’t reciprocate any of his advances, he holds out his hands. “Hey, you seemed to be enjoying yourself a minute ago, what’s up?”

I glare at him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him away from the other dancers, hearing Petra hollering at me and whooping. Fuck, woman, it’s not like that. He allows himself to be dragged, standing all too close to me at the bar while I try to put some distance between ourselves. He stinks of booze. 

“You are _married_ Eren, the fuck are you doing?” I ask him, having to raise my voice over the crowd and the thumps of the bass. He doesn’t look at all deterred by my statement.

“I know, he knows I’m out tonight,” he tells me. 

“That doesn’t make it more better,” I retort angrily. 

“It’s cool Levi, we’re in an open relationship, he lets me see other people,” Eren says, only further fuelling my anger. 

I head back into the crowd and detach Petra from the guy grinding up against her, returning to find Eren still at the bar. “Come on, let’s go,” I tell her. She comes with me willingly, tottering a little unevenly on her heels. 

“Oh hey, you,” Petra coos to Eren, who grins at her. 

“Petra, Eren, Eren, Petra,” I briskly introduce. “I’m taking you both home,” I tell Petra in Russian and note the confused look on Eren’s face, answering his questioning look by taking his wrist and tugging him toward the exit with Petra in tow. 

“So is this your girlfriend?” Eren asks. I ignore him.

“He's not my boyfriend, is he _your_ boyfriend?” Petra asks Eren, fixed to his arm like a damn barnacle. 

“No, he helps me clean,” Eren says. 

“Oh! So you’re the hottie he was talking about?” She squeals, clinging onto Eren’s arm again once we’re out in the open, coats on and wrapped up warm. I lead the way. Petra is close to the bar, so I’ll swing her by her house first before walking Eren home. 

“Oho, Levi thinks I’m hot huh?” Eren coos up against my ear, making me recoil. 

“Shut up, you are drunk,” I tell him. 

“Pfft, such a killjoy, Levi!” Petra scolds me. I ignore it, walking a little too briskly for my drunk companions to keep up. Petra speaks much better English than me, so the two of them keep each other company until we hit the right street a few roads down. I have to prevent Eren from stumbling out into traffic a couple of times but otherwise it’s pretty straightforward. 

“This is me, guys!” Petra says, leaning in to give me a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. “Look after Eren for me, Levi!” She calls in Russian, making me glare at her. Eren gives her a quick hug and they tell each other it was nice to meet. I patiently wait for her to get up the steps and into her house before turning on Eren. 

“Your turn,” I tell him. “I get you home now, okay.” I take his arm and link it with mine to keep him from running off. Fortunately he keeps his hands to himself and keeps close. He doesn’t have much of an option. I’m not losing my boss’s husband when he’s pissed as a fart and it’s almost midnight. 

We cross the street back into the small town strip of stores and bars and barely get two hundred metres before Eren is dragging his feet and flagging. 

“Levi I’m tired,” he whines, clinging heavily onto my arm. Asshole drunks. Ugh. I pull on his arm trying to get him to stand up a bit but it doesn’t work, leaving him clinging onto me stood in the street. “Take me to get some food? I’m hungry,” he slurs. I glare at him before looking around. Thankfully no one is around. The last thing I need is for anyone who knows him or Erwin to catch him hanging off me like a leech and getting the wrong idea. I’m not into home wrecking, even if Eren seems adamant on doing it for himself. 

“Come then,” I pull on his arm, getting him to follow me toward a nearby fast food place. It’s just some kebab and fried chicken place and the floors are disgusting, but they are more or less empty so we’ll get served quickly. 

“What you want?” I ask. 

“I want a kebab,” he says, still holding onto my arm as we walk up to the counter to order. We manage to order- I get myself a couple of bottles of water and a box of chips before dragging him and his greasy kebab over to a table. I sit him opposite me so he can’t make any more advances. 

In the bright lights of the cafe I can see the flush on his cheeks and the gloss in his eyes and fuck if he isn’t still gorgeous when he's drunk. In any other universe I would have taken you home, Eren. I eye his wedding ring as he pulls his food up to his face, eating like a fucking horse.

“I’m sorry Levi,” he says, spitting pieces of lettuce out. I refrain from pulling a face, but on the inside I’m disgusted. He’s sexy, yes, but he’s a damn slob. 

“For what?” 

“You’ll still clean for us, right? I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he says. I can swear there are tears welling up in his eyes. Good fucking lord do not cry on me here. I cannot handle it when people cry, let alone emotional drunks. What happened to that bravado from earlier? 

“Because Erwin will be so pissed if I scare you off,” Eren says, swallowing his current mouthful. “He really likes you, you know?” 

I remain quiet and let the kid spew his drunken honesty, eating my own food as I listen to him. Some of the words are still slurred but thankfully he’s mostly coherent. I offer him the second bottle of water and he downs most of it in one go before thanking me. 

“Seriously though,” he says after a long moment of silent chewing between us. “He’s fine with me seeing other people, but if you don’t want to that’s fine.” 

“What you mean he’s fine with it?” I don’t understand. 

“Oh! I’m polyamorous,” Eren states, matter of fact. The fuck does that word even mean? I pull a confused look. He seems to understand. “We both sometimes see other people. Sometimes together sometimes apart. We’re both okay with it.” 

“Eh?” 

“I dunno it’s hard to explain,” Eren says, shrugging as he eats a little more, sobering up with the water and the food the longer we’re sat here for which I’m thankful for. 

“So a threesome?” I ask. It’s the only way I think I can understand why a married couple would introduce a third party. 

“Not always,” Eren says. “Sometimes it’s nice if you both like someone to, you know, both date them?” He tries to explain. I’m sort of understanding now. It will take time for it to sink in, though. 

“Sorry if I came across a bit strong,” he offers an olive branch. I snort out a dry laugh. 

“A bit?” 

He chuckles awkwardly, rubbing his cheek. “Yeah, sorry about that. You’ll still work for us though? I’m sorry if I made a royal arse out of myself,” he apologises again, making me raise my hand to stop him. He turns quiet, a look of poorly hidden dread on his face. 

“Is fine. I clean for you no problem.” 

“Really?”

“Yes, is fine,” I reassure him. I enjoy both of their company, it will just take me a while to comprehend what he’s told me.

“So is it true?” Eren asks meekly. 

“Is what?” 

“You think I’m hot huh?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Fucking pervert,” I mutter, smiling wryly. “You are looking good,” I admit. He cocks his head a little but smiles anyway. Seems he understood me. 

The rest of the meal goes by relatively quietly. Eren doesn’t talk a whole lot until we get to his street about half an hour later. I start getting the feeling he’s been wanting to say something, but I keep quiet. I’m still processing and I’m tired and sort of just want to go home. 

“So uh, I guess this is me,” he says like some coy fucking teenage girl being walked home on her first date. I lead him up the drive and up to the porch. He doesn’t make a move for his keys. When I’m silent, waiting for him to finally speak up, he comes out with it.

“Do you want to go out sometime?” He asks. I remain silent. I have no idea how to respond to a married man asking me out on a date. “Out with Erwin and I, I mean, not like a date or anything, I promise. Just something casual.” 

Both of them? He must see the apprehension on my face. 

“Let me make it up to you by at least buying you dinner for grinding on you in a club?” I snort at that and feel my face heating up, eyes flicking toward the house where all the lights are off. Erwin’s car is in the drive though. He must be asleep. 

“Fine.” 

“Really?” Eren splutters. I nod once. I’m not saying it again. He lights up like a fucking Christmas tree and fiddles with his sleeves. “So how about a goodnight kiss?” He tacks on, making me glare at him. 

“You are drunk. See you tomorrow,” I tell him, scoffing quietly and turning. He looks at his watch and corrects me. 

“Or later today, should I say?” I roll my eyes at him. “Thanks for taking me home,” he says, heading for his door as I walk away. I turn to wave and make my way home. 

It wasn’t a bad night. In fact I’m pretty excited about this dinner. 

I can’t help but feel I’m falling off into the deep end though. Into unknown waters. 

Hopefully I’ll be able to ask them both some questions regarding their intentions, clear some of the air so I can just do my job like a normal person… 

...and maybe get some action, too. 

Fuck. I’m so screwed.


	5. Chapter 5

Dinner with my employers. 

My insanely hot employers.

I part dread my next shift but it goes remarkably smoothly since Erwin sees me in when I arrive, Eren’s at work, and he's quick to leave for work so he doesn't engage in much conversation other than to point out a few things that need doing. 

I get to work and at the end of the second hour Eren gets home for his lunch break, heading for the fridge. I'm awkwardly sat at the kitchen island drinking a cup of tea. 

It helps that once I got home I searched online for what it was he was talking about and I have may or may not spent way longer reading up on it than I should have. Seeing it in my native tongue helped though. It only left me with more questions though that I want to ask them. 

“Did you sleep well?” Eren asks as he moves his lunch into the microwave, heating up some spiced lamb mince as he heads to the fridge for his salad which he starts preparing onto a plate on the opposite side of the island to me. 

“So so,” I say with a shrug. I didn't sleep much at all. I usually sleep during the day what with having night shifts. “You?” 

“I slept like a brick. It was tough getting up this morning though,” he laughs, the bags under his eyes evident of the fact. He gets his lunch out and starts in on it, sat opposite me. 

“So tell me some more about yourself,” he says. I shrug, staring down at my tea to avoid eye contact. 

“What you want to know?” 

“Uh, how about why you moved to England?” 

It's good to see him eating something other than a greasy kebab. It actually looks quite good. I often wish I had time to cook more homemade meals. Sometimes Erwin sends me home with frozen Tupperware and his cooking is always phenomenal. Eren’s lunch looks possibly like another one of his culinary creations. 

“I come from family problem,” I tell him honestly. No sense in beating around the bush. He hums slightly, not pressing further. 

“How do you like it so far?” 

“Yes, is okay, I like it,” I tell him. “How long you marry ago?” 

“Oh,” he says after trying to work out what I said. “When did we get married?” I nod. “About two years ago in February. We’ve been together since I was twenty,” he says. That's five years. 

“Have you ever been married?” He asks me. I shake my head. 

“No. I never.” 

“Never married?” 

“Never anything,” I admit. 

“Really? But you’re a good looking guy, how come?” 

I shrug again, not sure how to say I’ve never come across anyone I wanted to spend longer than a night with. 

“Is a lot of effort,” I end up saying. “I never find the time.” 

He smiles at me and fills his mouth back up with more salad, leaning over to retrieve the pepper. My eyes are glued to his every movement just in case he tries anything. He seems a little more collected now he’s sober. 

“It is, but it's worth it.” 

“I don't know,” I say, meaning ‘I wouldn't know’.

“Oh, trust me it is,” he re-affirms, missing what I had intended to express, lost to the language barrier. I remain quiet. 

“It's really nice, having someone to come home to.” I bet it is. “That and the sex is good,” he laughs out, almost making me choke on my tea at the memory of what happened while I was in the closet upstairs. 

“Are you still happy to join us for dinner?” Eren asks. I nod. What else can I do. “It's the least we can do to say thank you for getting everything into such good order around here. We didn't know we needed you until you came.” 

“Thank you.” 

“No, thank you.” He gets up and flashes me with a smile as he goes to clean up after himself. 

“How is it at home?” Eren asks. 

“My flatmate is sick.” 

“Nothing serious I hope?” Eren asks as he uses the rest of the hot water to pour himself a cup of tea.

“I don’t know. They take her to hospital. She is old.” 

“Well hopefully she’ll be okay…” 

“I hope, I don't have anywhere to stay.” Eren’s face drops. Did he misunderstand me again? 

“I'm sure you’ll be okay. You can always stay here if you’re stuck for somewhere to stay.” 

I swallow the last of my tea and it sits heavily in my stomach. I swallow but it feels dry. Having Eren grinding up against my ass last night was too much. I would never be able to stay in the same house as them. It would be like living at work. 

“No, is okay. I have money enough for emergency.” It's not a lie at least. 

“Well just let us know if we can help, in any way we can.” 

“Thank you.” 

I awkwardly clean my mug and collect my supplies. “I go now, yes.” 

“Oh, of course. Erwin isn't here so are you okay for us to pay you next time?” He apologises. 

“It okay, he pay me end of weeks,” I explain. He relaxes at that. 

Just as I start toward the door he calls my name, halting me. 

“So when are you free?” 

“Eh?” 

“For dinner.” 

“Oh, uh. Next week good for me, text me?” 

“Sure, I’ll ask Erwin when he’s got a night off.” 

And so Eren does. He texts me and we arrange a day which comes around all too soon. It is just a ‘thank you’ gift so I'm not sure why I feel so damn nervous about it. Probably something to do with the fact that I know too much. 

I honestly wish the dating mafia would kidnap me, roll me in a rug and dump me in a river. 

At least I’m gonna get answers. I've been reading up on polyamory all week and the more I read the more it makes sense and frighteningly appeals to me. Hell, if they willingly want to include me of all people into their blissful existence, I wouldn't complain. 

It would be nice, as Eren said, to have someone to come home to. 

“Petra,” I say over the phone, staring at my wardrobe. “The fuck am I supposed to wear that doesn't say ‘bend me over the table and take me now’?” 

“How about hot pants and a kokoshnik?” 

I groan. “You’re not helping. Seriously!” 

“I dunno man, what do you usually wear to work?” 

“Black.” 

“Wear that then, except perhaps a jacket? You do own a jacket, right?” 

I eye the ugly orange, purple and green 90’s geometric windbreaker in my wardrobe. “I own a jacket, yes.” This monstrosity is bound to turn any youthful dick limp in less than ten seconds. 

“Good, you’ll look good, wear a jacket!” 

“Alright.” I hang up and smirk to myself. I pull a sweater on over my black shirt and finish it off with my ugly windbreaker, slicking my hair back and blow drying the gel into it so it’s out of the way. 

I get a text from Eren. ‘We’re outside’

I head downstairs and can't help but feel a little bit ashamed of my flat. It's not in a good area and it’s one of those ugly high rises in a part of town where Erwin’s sports car is unlikely to leave with all of its hardware and roof ornament. 

“Good evening Levi,” Erwin says as I let myself into the back seat. Seems Eren left the front free for me, since he's in the back. His eyes scan over my less than sexy jacket choice and I make a mental note to congratulate myself later. 

“Hello.” 

“I hope you’re hungry,” he says. 

“I am.” 

Eren fidgets a little in the seat beside me and I have to focus on the car in all it's new, sports car glory in order to keep myself from beating him until he sits still. Erwin seems more than happy to talk motors, so it passes the time. 

We park up at the restaurant, which has a valet. Suddenly I feel under dressed. The two of them have suits on. This evening is going to be so awkward I can tell. 

Once we’re sat and my ugly monstrosity is off my back and on a coat rail by the door, I'm sat opposite the pair in a booth. Thankfully Eren didn't try and box me in. I'm nervous enough as it is. 

I manage to keep myself as amicable as possible as Erwin and Eren tell me about their weeks, their workplaces, people they met in the street or at the gym. We talk about travel, food, animals and even favourite football teams. Eren is more enthusiastic about sport than Erwin or I but I find myself enjoying his enthusiasm. 

The food is killer. I end up with a seafood soup and a side of vegetables after grilling the waitress about the dairy content in as best English as I can muster. She picks up on my accent and I do hers and fortunately she speaks French, which I'm more fluent in than English. 

“Wow, how many languages do you speak?” Erwin comments, looking a little bit starstruck. 

“Uh? I speak Russian, Polish, French, little English and little Finnish. I understand some Dutch and Lithuanian,” I say, and Erwin is positively captivated, his food abandoned as I tell him more about myself, the fact I've worked all over Europe when I used to work for the family business before our falling out.

“I must admit, I love the company of a well cultured man.” 

I pause, wine glass still stuck to my lips. Is he flirting with me? 

“Is that why you marry Eren?” I say, smirking. They both laugh which helps to relieve the tension for a moment, but as soon as it dies down their eyes are back on me.

“That's just it though, Eren doesn't have to be everything,” he says, idly swirling the wine in his own glass around as he glances up at me, an intense look in his eyes. Suddenly there isn't enough air between us. Eren doesn't seem phased by our conversation. This must have been what he was telling me about. 

I'm lost for words, so I keep quiet. Erwin has no trouble in smoothly filling the space.

“He can't be everything and we can't expect each other to be either. That's a part of why we see other people.” I'm listening, occasionally adding the rest of what’s left on my plate into my mouth and chewing slowly as I try and take the information in. 

“So, how you say in English?” I mutter half to myself. They both look at me attentively, waiting patiently for me to find my words. It's moments like this I feel like an idiot. “Is for.. choice?” 

“It's a choice to do it this way?” Erwin asks, looking a little perplexed. 

Ugh, fuck. No. I didn't mean that. “No, uh,” I wrack my brain for the answer before pulling out my phone and tapping the Russian word into a translator. “Variety? This is word yes?” 

Erwin nods affirmation and looks thoughtful. 

“You could call it that. It's more like that lovely feeling when you're seeing someone, just wanting more than one. It's not much different to monogamous relationships. The love I have for my husband doesn't change if I start seeing someone else.” 

“Ah, I understand.” 

How could these two possibly be interested in someone like me, I don’t know, but here I am. 

“It's not cheating if we want the other person to be happy,” Eren explains. “If Erwin is comfortable with us going out to dinner or heading back to yours like any normal couple, it's fine.” 

“It works for us,” Erwin clarifies, leaving some space open for me to ask any questions. 

“So this is date, yes?” I want to know what they intend on doing with me. They both laugh and I glare at them, assuming they are mocking me for something I’d said wrong. 

“If you want to call it that I’d love to as well,” Erwin says with that same predatory look in his eyes I’d convinced myself was a figment of my imagination. Turns out it wasn’t. Welp. 

Eren must detect my sudden withdrawal from the conversation under Erwin’s intense attention. The fact that I have no fucking clue how to date somebody, let alone two people at once fuels the doubt. It’s all a bit much for me. Anyway Eren takes Erwin’s hand and removes those piercing blue eyes from me. 

“How about,” Eren starts, addressing the both of us. “We start small. Get to know us a little better one on one?” 

“But we do already,” I deadpan. “I work in your house. We speak.” 

Eren chuckles softly. “I mean, maybe outside of your working hours? If you can, that is…” 

I wince a little bit and the looks on their faces says they see it on me. I’m apprehensive because I’d like to work more but I have problems I haven’t told them entirely about. I’m a train wreck and they don’t even know it. When I don’t reply for quite some time, Erwin is next to speak up. 

“We’ll leave it at that and you can think about it, okay? No pressure.” Thank fuck. I didn’t want to give them a reply right away. I have no clue how to respond in any language. I barely have the energy to entertain a one night stand. How the hell would I maintain two relationships? They’re letting themselves in for disappointment. 

“Okay, I think.” I rub my eyes and down the rest of my wine. 

So while the dinner was productive in learning more about their different tastes, finding they both compliment myself and each other very well in different ways, I’m still going to have to take the offer in and consider it, work my finances out and try to sleep more. 

I would very much like the idea of trying it. I feel like I would regret the choice not to. 

So I’ll give it a go. Slowly but surely, I’ll get to know them, and pray that I won't fuck things up. I don't know what it will look like in the future, but I do know that I'm in dire need of getting laid. 

Pretty sure these two can help with that if all else fails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out [Levi's hideous jacket!](http://agent-2-6.tumblr.com/post/155496020030/petra-said-wear-a-jacket-to-your-date-with-eren).


	6. Chapter 6

Erwin’s kid is a fucking retard. 

How can someone that intelligent birth something so fucking disgusting? 

I dread Christmas. I really dread it. Erwin and Eren invited me for food on Boxing Day since I have plans with Mrs. Biddy since I have no family in the country. Erwin’s ex-wife is gonna be there. Looking at Nile, my guess is she’s fugly as all hell’s sins. 

Butt-fluff straggly neck beard, ugly ass porn-stache type thing. Spots that he’ll probably get rid of when he’s in his late twenties just in time for his hairline to start receding. This kid has moron written all over him and he’s worse than Eren. 

If I have to pick up one more damn sock from the front fucking door I’m gonna shove it down his throat while he’s jerking off to his ‘busty European babes’ he left open on his laptop when I was collecting the laundry. 

And the dishes. 

And the empty energy drink cans.

And the crusty underpants complete with nasty ass skiddies. 

And the crusty fucking tissues littered under his fucking desk like some sort of horny fucking terrier that doesn’t know when the hell to stop humping your damn furniture in front of guests. 

Pubes in the bathroom. On the sheets. Everywhere. That kid is a pube-generating machine. I don’t know how he does it. Consider me baffled at how many creative places I find his black curly wurlies. He could totally collect the hair and make a business making merkins. He’s got the stock for it. 

Teenagers. 

Keep them the fuck away from me. 

He’s an asshole too. Mocks my accent openly whenever Erwin or Eren aren’t around or paying attention and deliberately uses really big words or speaks too fast for me to understand. Refuses to let me in if he’s still asleep and I’m starting my shift. 

I tell Erwin he needs to give me a key and that _no_ I won’t rob him. He believes me and gives me a spare. Thank fuck. Three weeks of this little gobshite is about as much as I can handle. 

“Fucking bellend!” I hear Nile yell from upstairs before he’s hanging off the stairs and leaning into the kitchen foyer. I turn to look at him from my spot on my knees, wiping down the island from top to bottom. He must have found his sterilised, alphabetised porn DVD’s on his newly organised desk and the clean sock-dick I drew out on his bed. It even had hairy balls, I did my school art teacher proud.

“Yes?” I say, feigning innocence with a shit eating smirk tugging at my lips. 

“The fuck was the deal with my room?” He stomps angrily into the kitchen, standing above me in his grotty socks and sweatpants, crumbs stuck to his thighs. His very odour repulses me. Smells like sweaty balls and four day old B.O. 

“I don’t know what is you mean.” 

“Like hell you did and what did I tell you about not touching my stuff?” The emphasis is on the final word. He definitely found the porn. I just shrug and play innocent. 

“I am not understand. You want me to cleaning and not touching anything?” I make sure I ham up the accent too. 

“You know what I mean,” he snaps, kicking my water bucket before stomping off back upstairs, water sloshing all over my knees and the floor around me. Let this brat go back to school soon, I pray. 

Erwin comes back from the store with the groceries just in the nick of time. 

“I am thinking Nile wants to murder me,” I tell him with a laugh. He attempts a smile but looks tired, so I sober up my mirth a little. Teasing Nile puts me in a good mood. Erwin glances down at my wet lap and the floor and an eyebrow rises. 

He doesn't comment though as he heads for the fridge for a snack, sitting at the now-clean island. 

“Is still wet,” I tell him, gesturing to the sides of the counters. He undoes a couple of his top buttons and the slight flash of skin is enough to remind me of what I heard that day in the closet. I subconsciously must lick my lips as I stare because Erwin’s looking at me in an amused way when I finally snap back to attention.

“Hungry?” He says, voice lower than it should be for it to come across as innocent. I swallow around the lump in my throat, feeling my face growing warm. 

“No. Just.. thirsty,” I say, voice laced with uncertainty. I'm trying to decline any of their advances while I'm still making my mind up but they don't make it easy. I’ve probably been running an unhealthy level of sexual frustration just under the surface ever since hearing them fuck. 

“I’m sure I could get you something to help with that,” Erwin says as he gets up, still munching on his vegetable batons. I swear his hand moves down to his crotch to supposedly ‘scratch’ when he says that and fuck if this guy isn't blatantly teasing me. 

He heads to the fridge for some cold lemon water and I realise I'm definitely thirsty. Thirsty for dick.

Ugh. I just want him to bend me over the kitchen island and- wait. I turn to look at the kitchen door, my ears having picked up movement from upstairs. Nile comes down to retrieve another energy drink from the fridge. 

Their conversations are usually brief between father and son, if they say anything at all. Nile doesn't appear to have any friends in London. Probably something to do with the location of his school being out in the country somewhere. 

They usually talk about Nile’s school life but the kid seems less interested in hearing about the finance world from Erwin. The kid wants to pursue a career in the sporting world, so he gets along far better with Eren. They work out together and Eren seems to really like the kid. 

Eren at least makes the stay bearable for him, even if he is an incessant little bratty shit who wants the world handed to him. I suppose he's got his own issues though, so I can't really judge him too harshly. Still fun to tease him though. 

Erwin returns to the island with a glass of water and hands it to me. I take it by the rim and his hand and eyes linger a little longer than strictly necessary. 

‘Fucking tease’, I internally lament. 

Eren and Erwin both take turns with teasing me, especially when Nile isn't home. I repeatedly catch them making out on the sofa and in various other locations in the house. Fleeting touches, tender caresses, full-on grinding against each other pinned to walls. Everything from level one to way too much for 10am on a Saturday morning. 

Christmas and New Year isn't much better and feels like a complete haze until January. I barely want to get out of bed, let alone socialise with any more people. Petra has me out almost every free night I have and thankfully I don’t bump into Eren since I force Petra out to a different bar each time. 

Cleaning at the Smith’s is no different aside from my usual levels of pent up sexual frustration. The situation is made worse in mid-January when the old fucking Biddy dies, leaving me in the lurch for accommodation. The family had sold the place even before she died, planning on booting us both out anyway.

Dick heads.

I'm currently living in a cheap hostel as of five days ago, the family only giving me two days notice to move out. I’m taking up three new housekeeping clients next week to fill the gap in my schedule from the cut from the factory, so at least I’ll have some work to keep myself busy and keep the cash flowing. It just means I’ll be working seven days a week now. 

At least this hostel works out cheaper than renting a place. It's not as cheap as the old woman’s place though. I’ll just cut out certain foods and stop going out on Fridays. Petra won't like it but what can I do. She’s recently hooked up with some bloke and they’re living together, so I can't stay with her. The rest of my friends are all in communal living or flat sharing themselves. 

It feels sort of strange not having a definitive address. Does this make me homeless? But at least I still have work. That's probably the only good aspect to all of this.

I can't help but feel a creeping increase in those pesky self depreciating thoughts though. For all of my great skills, I do not appreciate them, so the self doubt often rears its ugly unspoken head. It's an internal monologue that makes me hold back in certain situations and indefinitely prevents me from asking for help. It always has. Be the best so I don't have to rely on anyone. Probably spouts from my mum having multiple boyfriends throughout my childhood. 

A part of me doesn't feel worth helping and the rest wants to prove that I'm capable of getting by on my own. Between the two I'm a mess on the inside, a perfectly maintained iron curtain of indifference keeping the world out and unsuspecting. 

“Hey Levi, are you alright?” Eren asks as I'm cleaning in their bedroom. I finally convinced them to let me clean everywhere in the house and I'm slowly working my way through upstairs. I’m thrusting the big pipe cleaner down into the grooves of metal behind the radiator and Eren has poked his head into the room. 

“I’m fine, why?” I pause my working. 

“Nothing, you just don't seem yourself lately,” he tells me. My iron curtain isn't perfect. People aren't idiots. Just because I've blinded myself to my own issues doesn't mean other people can't still tell they are there. 

“I’m fine,” I lie. I'm stressed as hell and I don't want to talk about it. 

“Well if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know.” I'm about to start the ensuite so I make the most of the chance and get him to bring me a fresh bowl of water. 

“Want me to put anything in it?” 

“Yes, blue cleaner under sink,” I instruct, and he disappears downstairs. 

He brings up the bowl and it's blue, he must have found the right one. It smells a bit weird though but I don't think anything more of it because I'm feeling so distracted. I head into the bathroom and start spraying the bleach and it takes about ten minutes for me to notice but I'm feeling light headed. 

I crouch down against the toilet bowl and try a few deep breaths but my eyelids are feeling heavier than usual. Bleach fumes don't usually affect me at all, strange. The more I work, the more lightheaded I feel so I stand up to open the window.

That's the last thing I remember before waking up, lying on my back on Eren and Erwin’s bed opposite the ensuite. Eren is by the doorway speaking to a paramedic who is holding a red case with an oxygen mask attached to it.

“He should be fine, just let him sleep it off for a little bit,” I hear the paramedic say before Eren thanks him and shakes his hand. I feel a bit woozy if I try to move so I resign to lying still. 

“Hey, you’re awake!” Eren says, hurrying over and sitting on the bed next to me. 

“What happen?” I ask, disorientated. 

“I don't know, you passed out. It could have been the cleaning stuff, the fumes you know?” 

I blink, trying to orientate myself. My eyelids feel heavy. “For how long I am sleeping?” 

“Oh, only for about ten or fifteen minutes, are you okay? I was worried when I heard you fall.”

“Fall?” I don't remember that. 

“I don't think you hit anything, stay here, okay?”

“But I clean,” I tell him, trying to get up again. He presses down on my chest and forces me to stay.

“The paramedic told me to let you rest. I can finish the bathroom later, it's no problem. Sleep.” 

I reluctantly close my eyes. The world stops spinning when I close my eyes. I don't remember Eren leaving, but I wake up again feeling much clearer aside from a slight headache and there's a blanket draped over me and a hot cup of tea beside me on the table. 

I carefully pull myself into a sitting position. The world isn't spinning any more. I make a beeline for the tea and take a big gulp. Much better. I look to the side and Eren has moved all of the cleaning things out of the bathroom. How long was I sleeping for? I check my watch. 

Three _hours_? I gawk at the time. 

I feel awful for spending three hours sleeping in my employer's house during working hours. Fuck I'm not gonna get paid for those hours. Erwin comes into the room to find me resting my head in my hands, rubbing the grog out of my eyes without much success. 

I look up at him when he sits on the edge of the bed, suit still on and looking concerned. When did he start looking at me as if I was something special? Was it there all along or did I miss something along the way?

Well fuck. Seems the pair of them are genuinely interested. I still haven't given them an answer since our dinner about a month ago.

I probably should tell them a yes or a no. 

I really want to say yes. 

So why haven't I? 

“Are you feeling better?” Erwin asks. “Eren called me and said you fell, I came straight from work but you were asleep. We didn't want to bother you.” 

“Sorry,” I mutter. “I finish cleaning now.” I start to move to get up but he is quick to rest his hands on my shoulders and sit me back down, taking a seat back onto the bed right beside me. He says something about staying still for a moment and I don't really register the words as much as I watch the way his lips move. 

Fuck, I think I want to kiss him. Why did he have to go and sit so close?

Would Eren mind? Speak of the devil. He comes in asking something about how I'm doing but my eyes are locked into Erwin’s lips as he replies to Eren. 

“He seems a bit out of it, maybe he should-” 

Fuck it. If Eren’s got a problem they can boot me out now. I go for it. I lean in and interrupt him, hand fisted into his shirt gently as our lips press together. He stiffens in surprise but he's quick to adjust, hands not moving as he presses into the kiss. It's nothing special and I'm not in the mood for anything more, but hopefully this will answer their question. 

When we break apart, I feel myself flush with embarrassment and guilt, eyes darting to Eren who is just sat on the ottoman at the end of the bed, smiling softly. 

“Sorry,” I mumble to Eren more than anyone else. Erwin sits back, not making any other advances but the pair of them look like men starved with me as their next prospective meal. My heart is racing and it's making my headache worse. I sit to the side against the pillows. 

“Does this mean you’re gonna let us take you out on a proper date?” Eren asks with a smile, easing my nerves a little. I still can't quite believe what is happening. I suppose they both have had lovers on the side so I shouldn't be this surprised. 

I snort and attempt a smile. 

“I guess so.”


	7. Chapter 7

On my next trip to the Smith’s after the weekend I investigate under the sink to find out just what the hell Eren put in that water. 

Weed killer is the answer. Weed killer with enough ammonia in it to react with the bleach. I don’t need to read the label since I can smell it from the bottle.

I groan, fishing it out and heading over to the conservatory. Eren is doing stretches and holy fuck the thongs I've been finding belong to him. The dark fabric stands out against his tanned lower back and I will myself to not end up with yet another awkward semi. 

These two are killing me. 

“I found what did it,” I tell him. He rolls over and gets up, standing far closer than he probably needs to. He doesn't smell like sweat since he's just doing yoga but damn he smells good. Earthy and strong and youthful. 

I tell him not to help with cleaning in future. 

Ever. 

He gives me yet another apology and I tell him it’s fine, it's quite funny actually. 

“Don't mix with bleach,” I tell him. He nods and I take the bottle back through to the kitchen. I bury the bottle back down beneath the sink and ensure I leave the proper cleaning liquid at the front instead of stuffed to the side. 

As I stand and turn, Eren is rounding the island. His joggers are sitting low on his hips and that tight vest doesn't leave much to the imagination. I’m blatantly staring. I’m so wound up I just wish he’d- woah when did he get so close. Oh god he's not stopping. Oh lord I have to brace myself I think my dreams are about to come true. 

I wince slightly, expecting impact. Sweaty, messy impact of mouths and tongues and that sweet, sweet body up against mine. 

He reaches around me for the fucking tea towel on the drying rack. 

Once he leaves I groan and readjust my underwear. 

I don't think I've ever wanted a person so badly before in my life. Knowing they _both_ want me of all people in return is killing me. I head back through the kitchen and Eren is back into his yoga, tea towel folded into a little head cushion.

“Sorry, I interrupt your zen,” I say, R’s rolling without me even thinking about it. Eren holds his current stretch, arse up and face pointed up at me from its upside down position on the floor. 

“It's no problem,” he tells me. 

“I free after work. Is your day off today yes?” He practically tumbles over to the side and beams at me. 

“Yeah, you wanna do something?” He sounds hopeful. 

“Yeah,” I start, sounding more nervous than I would have liked. “What about movie? But not in cinema?” I suggest. Eren just grins like an idiot and nods enthusiastically. “Maybe I cook?” I suggest also. I know my way around a kitchen enough to feed someone. 

“I’d like that. Then,” he says, tone chipper and excited, “Erwin can join us when he gets home if you like?” 

I nod, smiling. I'm nervous about it, but we’re at their house, I know it well, and it means I don't have to go back to my hostel room so soon. I’d rather spend time getting to know these two and in turn improving my English than returning to that white painted cinder block cell that is my current digs. 

“I’ll help you cook if you like? I promise it won't be anything like my cleaning skills,” he promises, making me snort. 

“It better not be,” I warn him, smirking as I return to my cleaning. I take the hoover around the house and mop all of the floors and it takes me a good couple of hours including second mops. 

Once everything is cleaned and my supplies are tidy or put away in the car, I return inside without my apron to find Eren napping on the corner of the L shaped sofa. He wakes up upon hearing my approach. 

“Did you want any time to clean up or shower or anything?” He asks. 

“You don't mind?” I ask after a moment of consideration.

“Not at all, come on, I’ll get you a towel.” 

I know where they are but I let him play host. He leads me upstairs and leaves me in his ensuite, closing the bedroom door behind him. I shed everything and step into the shower when the memory hits me. Those two share this shower. Sometimes at the same time. 

I should try and resist every urge telling me to get off in the shower as I usually would at about this time. However, if I get off _now_ , it will relieve some of the tension I've been feeling in their presence. It means date night won't be distracted from or fuelled by my own damn horniness. 

So I go for it. Water is on, clothes are off, hand’s on my dick and I am determined to forcibly remove the sexual frustration from my body. 

I start stroking myself and it’s pretty easy dealings when you’re this pent up. Seriously I haven’t fucked or been fucked in almost a year. That’s a long time for me. It isn't particularly exciting or interesting and I should definitely be embarrassed by how long I last but being alone offers me relief. At least now I’m not dying to pop a boner in awkward places. I wash up after myself and rinse the shower thoroughly, heading out to towel off. 

Once I'm dressed I feel much more comfortable. The house and I are both clean, so that's a bonus. I open up the bathroom mirror cabinet and spray myself with some of Eren’s antiperspirant. I figure he won't mind. I hang the towel up to dry after rubbing it over my hair and I quickly comb my hands through it to put it back into some sort of order. 

Once back downstairs I find Eren in the lounge on the sofa with a bag of crisps. I join him. It's only when I sink into the cushions do I feel how physically tired I am now I'm all loosened up by the shower.

“Do you have anything in mind?” He's flicking through the movie channels. 

“What kind of movie you like?” I ask.

“I'll watch anything really. It's Erwin who will only watch period dramas and documentaries.” I snort with amusement, grinning a little bit. It does seem to suit Erwin. I can envision it well. 

“I watch anything. I like action movie and horror, you know?” 

“What about that one?” Eren pauses on a new sci-fi action movie and I shrug with a nod, pulling my feet up onto the sofa. 

“We can watch with subtitles? You mind?” 

“Oh, you mean Russian subtitles?” 

“No, English. It helps.” 

“No problem, turning ‘em on now.” 

I smile slightly and get comfortable not too far from Eren. It's not awkward, which is nice, but I do instantly feel myself getting ready for that time of day usually reserved for sleeping. I hadn't thought this through, but of course: Eren works days and I work nights. I doze off a few times, trying to stay awake and failing horribly. 

Eren drapes the lower half of his legs over my lap and I relax even more, failing in my attempts to stay awake with the warm weight settled on my lap. 

I wake up to the credits and Eren’s legs moving off from my lap. He disappears through to the kitchen and by the time I get up and follow him he's returning from the bathroom and heading to the sink to wash his hands. 

“What do you fancy?” Eren asks. I feel exhausted so I just shrug. “You okay there? You look knackered.” My brows scrunch together. 

“Eh?”

“You look knackered.” 

“Yes I hear, what it means?” Saying a word I don't understand twice doesn't magically make me understand it. Still a dipshit. 

“Oh, tired. You look exhausted.” That one I know. I practically live by it. “Are you working tonight?” 

“No, but I did yesterday,” I tell him, making myself a mug of tea. 

“Oh shit, Levi, don't you need to like sleep or something?” I pour the water and turn around before answering, letting the tea brew.

“Is okay, I am used to not sleeping, you know?” Eren isn't buying it. Perhaps I could.. hmm. The teasing thought brushes past me and I decide to go with it. 

“Beside, I am hoping you know some way how to keep me awake?” I step closer into his personal space and he looks worried at first and then amused when he catches onto what I'm saying. I can't exactly come across as some smooth motherfucker in a secondary language. It's pretty hard when you don't know half the words effective for flirting. The sentences are different and the word play gets totally lost in translation. It's a pain in the ass. 

Eren perks an eyebrow, amusement in his eyes as I boldly slip my hands between his arms to rest on his hips. He returns the gesture to my relief, hands on my shoulders as he leans down to kiss me. Christ this is something. His lips are soft and warm and surprisingly gentle. 

I'd always thought Eren would behave like some sort of monster in the physical intimacy department but he's surprisingly respectful. He doesn't press for me to open my mouth, just keeps it sweet and simple. 

It's nice that they’re both being so patient with me. It's strange meeting a guy and not immediately jumping into bed with them instead of asking for so much as a first name. I press myself up against that firm torso I've been dying to get my hands on, fingers gripping a little tighter as I attempt to deepen the kiss. 

Heads tilt and noses are breathing against faces but Eren eventually opens his mouth. He tastes like crisps. I briefly worry about what I must taste like. I groan softly, satisfied that I'm finally able to kiss this guy, feeling strange parts of me swell with a fond pleasantness that for once isn't my dick. 

When we slowly break apart for air, sharing a few extra gentle pecks before completely separating, Eren just smiles at me. 

“We should cook,” I tell him. He grins stupidly and nods, wiping his mouth and heading for the fridge. 

Eren’s strange to watch in the kitchen. He pulls concentration faces I've never seen before and cuts vegetables into weird shapes with absolutely no unity or order. 

Once everything for our meaty stir fry is in the pan and I'm stirring it, I feel arms wrap around my waist and a nose press into my neck, followed by the damp press of wet lips. 

“Gross,” I say, swatting him away and wiping my neck. It doesn't deter him and I squirm in his arms but don't make an effort to get away, instead pressing back into the touch as I try and focus on stirring the food.. 

Fuck, this is nice. 

I should probably go flat hunting tomorrow. 

As much as I'm enjoying myself I'm still worried. I can't shake the uncertainty about where I'm going to be living or not. I can't afford anything for longer than three months. 

I know Eren offered their spare room but I'm not comfortable with that sort of sudden imposition. I want something more permanent than a few months. 

I want to sigh but I know Eren will ask questions about it so I refrain. I just remain quiet and let him hold me as I stir the meat around, waiting for it all to cook. I set a lid over the top to let it all steam for a bit and turn around. Eren releases his hold so I can move and I shift a little to lean against the section of counter that isn’t currently spouting flames. 

Eren is quick to resume the proximity. I don’t complain. 

“Did you want to stay here tonight? You look pretty tired.” I chew on the inside of my lip as I consider it. It sounds a lot better than having to drive back to the hostel. 

“I can borrow a change of clothes?” I ask. Eren’s face lights up and he nods. 

“They might be a bit big on you but that’s no problem. It’s not like you won’t be back in a couple of days anyway,” he says with a smile. I just surrender to making any effort with standing and lean against his chest. He welcomes it gladly, wrapping his arms around my back. I'm tired and he smells nice. This is nice. 

Eventually we part and I turn to check the food. 

“Did you want to take a nap until Erwin gets home, then we can eat?” He suggests. It’s not a bad idea. 

“Yes,” I say, heading for the sofa. Eren doesn’t disturb me, nor are there any rattling noises around the house while I’m sleeping. It’s about four now, so Erwin should be home in a few hours, giving me a good few hours in which to sleep. 

I wake to find Eren in his PJ’s sat on the other end of the sofa. It's dark out, too. 

“Hey, sleep well?” He asks, locking his phone and setting it down on the coffee table. 

“Yeah.” I sit up. I’m probably not going to sleep tonight, I’m too used to being awake at night. “I want to get day job but money, you know?” Eren hums. 

“It pays more, right?”

“Not enough,” I laugh dryly.

“Do you send money home?” 

“Yeah. Is why I work two, three job.”

“That must be exhausting,” Eren says sympathetically. I just shrug.

“I get used to it. I work night time in Russia too.”

“What did you used to do there?” Eren asks, leaning over onto the sofa, looking up at me once he’s comfortable. 

“I was in Military,” I tell him. “We work all hour of day,” I make a circle with my hand to elaborate. I find the hand gestures sometimes help to get my point across, so I use them a lot. “When Erwin is home?” I ask. Eren looks over at the clock below the TV. 

“Any minute now. I’m starving.” 

“Me too.” 

We chat a little while longer, Eren tells me about his University days and his work as a personal trainer. He runs classes at the local gym as well as a few charity events each month with different organisations. It’s admirable he has the spare time to give back. I’d love to do that but I’m too busy making ends meet. 

Erwin arrives home not long after and Eren must have texted the plans for tonight because he doesn’t look at all surprised to see me as he hangs his coat up and puts his slippers on, heading over to the armchair on the other end of the coffee table. 

“Hey guys, it smells great in here, what’s cooking?” 

“Just a stir fry, nothing too adventurous,” Eren says. 

“We can use up the rest of the quinoa from yesterday with a salad,” Erwin decides. Eren just hums and nods as I remain quiet. 

“How are you Levi?” 

“Okay.” 

“Shall we eat? I’m hungry,” Eren says, getting up with a renewed level of energy now that food is on the agenda. 

Dinner goes well and it’s all a little strange for me. It’s weird how easily they have accepted me into their daily routine as if I’d always been here. I sort of feel like part of the family if I can say that. They mainly speak between themselves, discuss work and their days, any chores that need doing or errands that need running. They catch up and discuss plans, keeping each other in the know. 

“Yeah, we’d usually tell each other if we have any dates over dinner when we’re in at the same time,” Eren explains when I’ve been quiet for too long. The food is delicious so I end up having seconds. “But hey, since neither of us have any aside from anything you have planned, just let us know what you want to do.”

I appreciate the communication. It’s rare to find two people so finely dedicated to sharing the details. I’m so used to sharing a bare minimum it’s a little bit hard for me to get my head around. I don’t know what to tell them and what not. I hardly think they’ll appreciate me telling them I have an 11pm shit planned while they’re asleep.

“Did you have any other questions for us, by the way?” Erwin asks as he too goes back to the pan for more, scraping the leftovers into his bowl and returning to his spot at the kitchen island, resuming with his chopsticks. 

“About what?” I ask. 

“Well, about the whole situation, really. How we work as a couple? How you fit into the picture?” Erwin suggests. My face scrunches lightly into a frown as I concentrate. “See, communicating is the most important thing. It’s how we function so well together. I want you to be comfortable so please tell us if you have any concerns.” 

A lot of the websites I read went over a lot of the most commonly asked questions but I want- need to hear it from their own mouths. Everyone is different so I suppose I ought to just quiz them personally to gain as much clarity as possible. Taking a page from their book, so to speak. 

“Um, okay. I have question yes. I admit I did research,” I say with a shrug and a small smile. The pair just smile at me, polishing off their meals. I’m liking how casual this whole thing is. 

“Go on?” 

“Yes, is just sex or is something longer?” I’d been curious, can’t deny that one. They look like they’ve heard the question a million times before. Erwin begins. 

“It all depends on you, Levi. It's like any other relationship. If you both want it, you go for it.” 

“Oh,” I let the information soak in for a moment while Eren gets up to get a few beers out of the fridge. Even Erwin accepts one. He struck me as more of the wine type based off our fancy dinner, yet here he is eating stir-fry and drinking a beer. “So is not have to be both of you at once?” 

“Not necessarily. As long as we talk about what we all want as a three, it should be fine. It’s remarkably straightforward but a lot of people think it’s confusing or cheating or just threesomes all of the time,” Eren says with a soft chuckle. I find myself drawn to the sound, soothed by it even. If these two are so relaxed, it’s hard to be tense in their company. 

“This makes sense,” I say. “So you choose whoever you want at the time? What you feel to doing?” 

“Yeah, pretty much,” Eren says, looking to Erwin for input. 

“Yeah, if you just want to hang out with Eren while I’m at work, or vice versa, that’s fine. Just let us know is all.” I struggle with a couple of words but most of what he says makes sense. 

“And this okay? If I want one the other is not bothered?” 

“Let’s just say our life is about 5% sex compared to everything else we do together,” Erwin says. 

“Well, more like ten,” Eren laughs. Erwin just rolls his eyes and takes a swig from his bottle. 

“We’ve been together for years now. We’ve gotten to a point where we just trust each other. Talking is important to maintain that though.” 

“Makes sense. So I not have spend time with both or one if I don’t want. Is not constant sex, and just say what I want?” I list off, making sure I understand what they’re saying. 

“And we do the same with you. It’s a mutual agreement. Will that be okay? Let’s say if I wanted to spend the night with just Eren?” Erwin asks. I hadn’t considered it, but I see it as no different to what we’re currently doing. I’ve just been going about my daily life and these two handsome Englishmen have been an exquisite bonus. 

“Is okay, yes.” 

“Great. I mean, we don’t have to jump in bed immediately, like Erwin says it’s not about the sex, it’s just an extra. I’m pretty sure we’re both just happy to spend time together and get to know and trust you more.” 

“About the sex,” I start, tentative. They both pay rapt attention to me, as usual, as if whatever I have to say is just as important as what they say to each other. It adds to that strange desired feeling. They’re treating me like an equal in the relationship despite the rings on their fingers. 

“You get checked often yes?” They smile around their drinks and Erwin chuckles softly before assuring me they get tests between partners. I bet Eren has more than Erwin if his behaviour at the bar that one time is anything to go off. 

“Comes with the territory of multiple partners. We don’t see other people all that often, nor do we often hookup with strangers, but we do get tests and wear protection with anyone aside from each other. Have you had a test recently?” 

“No. It been at least year since I have sex last and I get test after that,” I admit grimly, embarrassed that it's been so long. “But I get a new test.”

“Great,” Eren announces with a big grin, “on that note, who wants dessert?”


	8. Chapter 8

It feels good to finally get a bit of Eren and Erwin-specific clarity regarding just what it is I’m getting myself into. I feel strangely at ease with it. It’s new and exciting which gives me something good to look forward to as I hunt for flats I can afford. 

I’ve spoken with about five estate agencies and the only thing I can find within my budget is on the other side of the city or out of town too far to commute. The factory is closer to where the old woman used to live which is why I took the job. 

It's a Saturday afternoon and I’ve finished my work with Erwin being home. Eren’s off doing a half marathon and Erwin is going to meet him at the finish line in about an hour. It’ll take him a couple hours to run it and he should start soon. Erwin and I are just spending a little time together.

Since Erwin is off work today and I have a rare few hours of free time I decided to consult him about the city and where good places are for flats or houses. We have a map open on the laptop, sitting beside one another on the sofa. 

“So here’s work, and here are your other clients,” he says, pinning all of the addresses I give him onto the map. “And you don't really want to travel for longer than an hour, but a lot of buses and trains are very good I hear.” 

Public transport is about as appealing as one of Nile’s merkins. Speaking of which he’s coming to stay for the spring break before his exams. He’s going to a sixth form college on the outskirts of London so no doubt we’ll be seeing a lot more of him in the future. How do people phrase it? ‘Fuck my life’? 

“What about there?” I ask, pointing to an area which looks fairly residential. Erwin scrunches his nose up. 

“It's a really cheap area but it's rough,” he explains. 

“I don't mind,” I tell him. “You see where I live before,” I add with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and smiles. His hands still at the laptop for a moment and he seems thoughtful. 

“Are you not staying with the same lady then?” 

I groan, annoyed at having exposed myself. I’ll have to tell him. I would have had to sooner or later. I was hoping to skip the homeless part. 

“No.” 

“Oh, where are you staying now?” 

“The day hostel near the underground. You know?” 

“The shelter over by Saint Maria’s?” 

“Yes.” He hums but his expression doesn't exactly change noticeably. “It's cheap for now. I am staying there two, three weeks already.” 

He’s quiet for a short moment but it’s clear he’s already calculated his next move. He rests the laptop down onto the coffee table and sits to face me, one leg up on the sofa with his hands resting comfortably on his thigh. 

“I understand if you don't feel comfortable with the suggestion, but why don't you just take the room upstairs?” 

“With you?” 

“Well, yes, unless you want to sleep in the shed? You could contribute a small amount of rent, nothing you can't afford.” He chuckles softly and I'm feeling conflicted. I wanted to avoid moving in, but as Erwin said: why don't I? 

It's close to all of my clients, not too far from the factory. Thankfully nothing much has happened between either Eren, Erwin or myself so I'm still feeling more friendly than romantic toward the two. 

It’s so perfect. It's a nice location and a huge, clean house. (No thanks to myself.) I could only dream of staying somewhere like this with a deal as good as I’m being offered. 

“But I would not be in the way?” 

“Of course not. We’d be happy to have you. It's better than getting someone we don't know in to rent the room. We trust you.” Damnit Erwin with your stupid answer for everything. 

“What if we stop seeing each other?” I ask, my brain now coming up with any excuse it can. 

“Then you’ll just be a tenant. Any other excuses?” He smiles fondly and I'm a bit stuck for an answer. I should say yes, really. I'm living in a hostel shared by dodgy backpackers and probably a bunch of ex-cons and criminals. The place is deadbolted everywhere and there are even delightful security bars over all of the windows. 

“No.” 

“So you’ll at least consider it?” 

“I will take offer.” 

Erwin closes his laptop with a smile stretched across his whole face. “Can you join us for dinner tonight? It would be great to tell Eren together.” 

“I need to change and sleep but yes. What time?” 

“How about eight? Does that give you enough time?” 

“Yes, fine.” 

Fast forward to dinner and Eren’s got a stupid grin on his face after we tell him I’m staying, like an excited kid just told he’s going to a theme park. I had a few hours to think about it, and while it’s a good idea, I’m still nervous. 

“Do you need a hand moving anything?” Erwin asks. 

”No. All things are in my car.” 

Eren stops eating and glares at me. He looks upset. Eh? Did I say something?

“So you’ve been living out of your car?” Eren asks, incredulously. I tilt my head back a little, feeling myself getting defensive in response to his tone of voice. 

“I pay for a room each night.” 

“Do they always have rooms available?” Eren asks, looking at me pointedly. Can’t deny it was fun a couple of times when they didn’t actually have a room free. I might have conveniently forgotten to mention that piece of information because it’s not something I’m proud of. Eren’s mouth falls open when I don’t answer him. 

“Have you been eating?” 

I look down at the bowl in front of me, ignoring the true meaning behind the question. “Yes,” I tell him. He doesn’t need to know the details. Even I don’t want to know the details. I’m fucking embarrassed and ashamed that I can’t even find myself somewhere to live. 

Eren looks conflicted and Erwin is clearly concerned but hides it much better. Besides, since when was it any of their business? I feel myself shutting off and I rest my fork down, crossing my arms in my lap as I sit opposite the two. I don’t feel hungry any more and would really wish they would stop probing me about my shitty situation. It isn’t helping. 

I consider saying something first, but I figure it would only make them try and stop me, so I just get up abruptly, the urge to just leave tugging at me so strongly but I’m bound in place by the dirty dish before me. Neither Erwin or Eren say anything as I move to the sink and quickly wash the dish and cutlery, hands gripping them a little too tightly with my frustration. 

I just want to be alone and de-stress and I don’t want to do it in front of my employers. 

I swiftly pass by the two once more, refusing to make eye contact as I pass and I ignore their calls to ask me to stay. I hear a shuffle of chairs in the other room as I pass through to the front door and pull my shoes on as quickly as I can, not bothering to tie the laces before I’m out, closing the door behind me. It’s about nine now and it’s dark and cold out. I don’t have anywhere else to go other than back inside, and it infuriates me. 

Neither men open the door, nor do I see anyone approaching the windows, so I sit down on the porch outside the front door. The air is cold. I check my pockets and I have money but I left my phone inside. Fuck it, I have to come back sooner or later but I might as well go find something to do for the night. Erwin and Eren will have to sleep so I’ll only be up all night in a dark house by myself. 

I don’t want to face them just yet. Their levels of care for me is disgusting and I don’t in any shape feel worthy of it right now. 

An idea hits me. I know where I can go. 

I push myself up and start walking down the street, zipping my jacket up and stuffing my hands into my pockets. It takes about twenty-five minutes to walk it, but I end up on that high street where the bar was that Eren so kindly decided to near sexually assault me in public. It’s one of Petra’s favourite places, maybe I’ll find her out tonight. 

The bar is busy now as it draws closer to ten, everyone at least at a warm state of tipsiness. I elbow my way through the people milling around and chatting with drinks so I can get to the bar. 

“Yeah?” The bartender is looking at me. 

“Two double tequila,” I say, only to have another body squeeze up beside me in their own attempt to get to the bar. She has platinum blond hair cut into a tidy bob and a petite frame a little taller than me. She practically yells in my ear as she blurts out her order. She stinks of wine and she’s ordering shots. This is gonna get messy. 

I take my shots and down them one after the other, catching the woman’s attention as she waits for her own shots. 

“Rough day?” She asks. I shrug, trying to mind my own business. 

“Not much of a talker, huh? Well, I saw you come in and you’re pretty cute,” she says, trailing a finger down my arm. I tense at the touch but she doesn’t seem to notice. The tequila has gone straight to my head, easing the headache induced by my own stupid sense of self pride. 

“Thanks,” I tell her. 

“Can I get you a drink?” She asks, batting her eyelashes at me from behind her glasses. I nod and wave to the bartender for the same as before. 

It isn’t long before we’re stood next to each other, drinking far too many shots than perhaps we should, and talking briefly about our shitty lives. We give each other a single sentence that perfectly sums up why we’re out drinking and she looks surprised when I tell her I’m avoiding a hot polygamous married couple that probably want to bang me. 

“Wanna dance? I think my friends ditched me,” she says, turning to face me. I’ll admit she’s pretty cute. Looks like she could be in her mid to late twenties. 

“Alright.” It will be a nice distraction. That and her dress is pretty flattering. It’s a dark grey wrap type dress - I dunno what the hell you call the style, but it’s got a deep neckline and it’s kinda short. Her silver heeled boots make her legs and ass look great too as she takes my hand and leads me out to the dance floor. I get a lot of envious looks from the straight guys here. 

“So what are you gonna do?” she asks me, dancing up close and dipping low when the lyrics prompt for it. I’m just vaguely moving in a way that might somehow resemble dancing. I’m not really thinking about it, my mind has drifted back to Eren and Erwin. I just left without a word, they’re probably worried. 

“I should probably head back,” I tell her, checking my watch. It’s past one. 

“Hey, I didn’t catch your name,” she says as I slow my dancing down, feeling tired as my worry returns. 

“Levi.” 

“I’m Rico. See you around yeah?” 

“You want me to take you home?” I offer. 

“Nah, I live a few doors down upstairs above the supermarket, thanks though Levi.” 

“No problem.” 

I head out and the cold early morning air hits me like a bag of bricks. I don’t remember how much I drank but it takes me a good forty minutes to stagger back to the Smith’s house. I feel awful for disappearing and then re-appearing in the dead of night. All of the lights are off. I have a key but I feel uncomfortable barging in this late, so I head to my car parked in front of their driveway and let myself in. 

My backseat has a couple of suitcases full of my clothes and the boot is full of my cleaning supplies. There’s a light sheen of frost across the windscreen and I sit inside, shivering. 

I have no idea how much money I spent but my pocket is empty. Fuck. I briefly fret over what I’m going to eat this coming week until the answer hits me, head turning to look at the house I’m parked outside. 

The cold walk sobered me up a little bit but my head still feels fuzzy. I can’t leave the car running to keep myself warm. I need to save money on petrol. 

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I mutter, gripping the cold steering wheel before forcing myself back out of the car and locking it. I hold the loose keys tightly in my hand as I grip the front door key. I make sure I’m as silent as possible when I start to open it. The latch wasn’t left on to my relief, perhaps they were expecting me to come back. 

I slowly creep inside and toe off my shoes, feeling awful for leaving so suddenly earlier. The house is warm and still sort of smells like dinner. There are no lights on, so I’m careful to be quiet as I walk over to the sofa, settling into the corner and resting my head against the back and closing my eyes for a moment.

I wake up in the same position. Three hours later. I can hear thuds above me and then the familiar creak of footsteps on the staircase. I don’t make any effort to move, my head spinning with my hangover. I don’t want to move. I need to accept their help and apologise though, pride be damned. 

It’s dark still and I wince as the lights are turned on in the living room. Erwin looks surprised to see me on the couch but dims the lighting quickly after realising I had been asleep. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, dressed in his pajama pants and a house robe. “Can I get you a tea or a coffee?” I look up at him through heavy eyelids and attempt to sit up a little straighter. 

“Yes please, tea,” I say. Erwin disappears into the kitchen and I hear the kettle boiling as I almost fall back to sleep. It isn’t long before Erwin returns with a hot cup of tea, a glass of water and a couple of painkillers, leaving them all on a tray on the coffee table. He takes a seat beside me and looks down at his own mug of coffee.

“Are you working today?” he asks. 

“Two clients in morning and work at night,” I tell him. 

“I was wondering if we could have a quick catch up?” I take a sip from my tea and it feels heavenly. It soothes my dry throat. I look at him expectantly, tilting my head just enough to silently ask him to continue. He understands the gesture. 

“You don’t have to move in if you don’t want to. I’m sorry if last night-” 

“Is okay,” I interrupt. “I overreact.” He tries to continue but I’m not having any of it. I was in the wrong. “I say I will stay and I will. Just give me time, yes?” 

“I understand,” is all Erwin says, turning quiet for a moment. “When do you have to leave for your first client?” 

“About nine?” I say, guesstimating how long it would take to get there given that I’m not at the hostel right now. 

“Well I’m leaving at about six, but Eren is still asleep, why don’t you join him? He was pretty upset last night, having you go see him might cheer him up.” 

I contemplate it, doubting whether Eren would want that or not. I then realise that Erwin knows Eren far better than I do, so I decide to trust his decision. 

I watch as he leaves the room to go and shower and spend a moment to finish off my tea before heading upstairs.


	9. Chapter 9

I quietly pad upstairs after downing my painkillers and the glass of water Erwin left me and I poke my head into the master bedroom. The lights are all off and Erwin’s side of the bed is neatly made. He is clearly up and out of bed for the day. It’s a little strange getting into someone else’s bed with their spouse on their own suggestion, but I decide I’ll trust Erwin. 

I carefully round the bed and set myself down on it, lying on my side atop the covers and facing the dark duvet lump in front of me that is a sleeping Eren. He doesn’t move as I lay down, probably just thinking it’s Erwin. I hope I don’t get a punch to the face when he wakes up and realises it’s not his husband. He’s used to sharing his bed, I tell myself. It’ll be fine. 

I doze for about an hour and faintly hear Erwin leaving the house which wakes me up to find Eren shifting to face my direction. 

“Morning, Levi,” he says softly, a tired smile on his face. 

“You smell,” is the only thing that comes out of my mouth. I have never claimed to be smooth in any way, shape or form. Eren just laughs and rolls onto his back. 

“I’ll brush my teeth in a minute. Eager for another kiss huh?” He teases, making me glare at him from my sideways position. I don’t have anything to say to him in response because I know he’s right. That and it feels too weird to get that much sleep in a night. I’m not entirely sure how people live feeling this rested. “Are you staying then?” he asks, wedging a hand behind his head so as to prop it in my direction. I nod. 

“Sorry about yesterday.” 

“I’m sorry too. I just wish you’d have said something so I could have helped sooner.” 

“I didn’t want to trouble.” Nor did I have enough of my pride aside to take the help. I’m not admitting that though. Not yet anyway. 

“It’s no issue I swear, we’re happy to have you!” 

I fall quiet and still and just lay there staring at him for a moment. I can tell he means it and I believe him. 

“It’s still early, want to cuddle?” Eren asks, lifting up the covers and the duvet. I stare at him as if he’d just given me a check for ten million rubles. I don’t say anything but I shuffle up toward the pillows and scoot my feet beneath the sheets and turn around, pulling Eren’s arm around my waist as we both get comfortable. 

I feel him up against my back, only this is way better than any time previously. He’s hugged me and we’ve kissed a couple of times, but the way his lips press against the side of my neck this time is so tender I can barely believe I’m here. He settles behind me and I find myself relaxing against him as I feel his breathing even out while he falls back to sleep. 

We’re only asleep for about half an hour before I can feel the hand around my waist start to roam. There is a very distinct bulge pressing against my ass, too. I pretend I don’t notice it, but my insides are screaming at me. Is he aroused or is he just big? I can’t tell. I haven’t spent much time staring at his crotch so I find myself unable to think about anything else. Fuck. I’m curious now. 

If I can’t get my mind off his dick I’m gonna end up with another fucking awkward boner. 

Eren’s hand is only trailing up toward my chest but the space between us is non existent and I’m feeling frustrated and is it just me or is it hot in this bed all of a sudden. It smells like Erwin and my mind is all over the place. “Eren,” I say softly but Eren just pulls me tighter against him, adjusting and I could swear he rolls his hips against my ass ever so slightly. 

That or I’m imagining things because I’m so pent up. Fuck I think I’m getting turned on. Don’t do this now. Don’t do it. Fuck I can’t stop it. 

“I’ve been waiting so long to do this,” Eren breathes against my neck, kissing the back of it lightly. My face is bunched up into the sheets so I can’t smell his morning breath. This would be so much better if we were both showered and didn’t have work. 

“We have work,” I say weakly, feeling myself heat up at the lightest of touches. I’ve been craving any touch for weeks now, months even. I feel deprived and now I’m finally getting it, it all feels very overwhelming. “Wait,” I hurry to say as Eren’s hand dips below my ribs, heading south. “Stop,” I tell him quietly when his fingers trail my trouser waistband. He complies instantly but his hand splays out against my stomach instead of exploring lower. 

“You smell,” I tell him, feeling his laugh against my back. 

“Come shower with me then,” he tells me. “I’ll take anything you’ll give me. I want you so badly,” he tells me and part of me tries to convince me I’m still dreaming.

“Why don’t you brush your teeth and then we talk?”

“Deal!” he announces, that usual sense of energy finally visible as he throws the blanket off and bounds over to the bathroom. I roll over onto my back and only now do I notice he’s stark fucking naked. He has the gall to glance over his shoulder and wink at me, the cheeky bastard. 

“Fuck, I’m so screwed,” I groan, rubbing my eyes. 

“We can screw if you want!” Eren calls from the bathroom and I roll onto my back and curse in my native tongue. 

“Don’t get too excited you piece of shit,” I tell him as a comeback, a little bit of smugness creeping over me as I realise he has no idea what I’m saying. His head pokes out of the bathroom with the addition of a toothbrush in his mouth and he talks around it.

“No idea what you just said mate, but it was damn sexy.” He promptly returns to brushing his teeth over the sink, his bare arse on full display for me. He’s hopeless, but hell if I ain’t smiling. He spits and hunches over to pull out a fresh toothbrush, waving it at me. I haven’t managed to stare at his dick yet so we’re all good. It’s a decent size though and he’s not even up. Jesus I would love nothing more than to be officially screwed right now. 

I get up, realising I’m fully clothed as I take the toothbrush. Eren’s leaning into the shower to switch everything on as I start brushing and when he returns from the shower his hands are on my shirt, wriggling his way into my clothes and removing them. I let him, but turn to spit and rinse when it comes to removing my underwear. I can handle those myself, thanks. 

The shower unit is a double-headed nozzle, allowing two people to shower in the spacious wide built space. “Damn, impressive,” Eren says with his eyes very firmly glued to my groin. I suddenly feel self conscious. 

“Shut up and wash,” I tell him, trying to deflect the attention. He smirks and watches me as we rinse off, keeping a close eye on when I’m finished. It’s no different to when we were at school, I tell myself, and for a moment it actually works. 

That is until I set the body wash down and Eren’s hands are on me faster than flies to shit. 

He pulls on my arm and tugs me up against him, his lips find mine, water spraying behind both of our heads. Thankfully it’s nothing notebook worthy since the water stream is out of my eyes. Eren has clearly been washing a certain part of himself with a certain amount of technique… I can feel the very obvious arousal between us and it’s making me hard too. 

Eren groans softly against my lips and I can feel the rumble between us as his tongue plunges into my mouth against mine. I lick back energetically. It tastes like his toothpaste. Or it could be Erwin’s toothpaste. It’s spearmint. My favourite. Who’d have thought I’d be moaning into a kiss because it was more tasty than it was pleasurable. Only me. I laugh against Eren’s mouth and he pulls back to look at me with a mild expression of question. 

I lean in and kiss him again, hands tentatively flattening against his solid chest as his hands slip behind my back and down to grip at my ass. His boldness encourages me to quickly reciprocate his touches, squeezing those lovely pecs my hands have thus far been caressing. Eren’s hips are rocking against mine and I just know I won’t last long if he keeps up with this. 

“Eren,” I whisper, feeling harder than any masturbation has brought me this past year. All he’s doing is rubbing up against me, fucking fuck. He just kisses me, close-mouthed for a long moment, holding back on the hips for a moment while I catch my breath. 

I’m impressed by his attentiveness. 

“You’ve not had a test yet, right?” Eren asks me, bodies still flush. God how I want to do horrible things to this man, but alas I haven’t had time to take that test yet. 

“No,” I say. It comes out laced fractionally with frustration at myself. “Sorry. I’ve been bus-mmph!-” He interrupts me with another kiss, my cock suddenly in his hand as he strokes up and down. My hands grip onto his wet shoulder blades and I find myself being pushed gently and guided to the shower wall. I hiss at the cold but Eren doesn’t hold up. He hunches down a little after spreading his legs- feet propped against the two edges of the shower- lines our two cocks up now he’s the right height, and strokes them both in unison. 

He peppers me with kisses as he strokes us both and needless to say Eren lasts a hell of a lot longer than I do. He barely looks like he’s broken a sweat and here I am, panting like I’ve run a fucking marathon, my orgasm washing over me like some horny, pent up teenager. It feels so good to finally get off with someone I feel a semblance of closeness to. It's different from a one-off. I feel more desired for more than just my body. This is just a very welcomed and very needed bonus. 

“Damn you’re so sexy,” he whispers up against my ear as he guides my hand to his still firm cock, my orgasm still making my senses a little blurry. I take it in hand without complaint and he guides my hand up and down the length until I take control and continue with an increasing pace. I love the feel of it in my hand. It’s heavy and I can feel the blood pulsing through the vein on the underside, the skin taut from how hard it is. 

Eren closes his eyes and his head falls slowly to my neck, lips finding attachment there as I stroke him quickly, alternating how much pressure I apply with my hand. Some strokes are firmer than others and I can feel Eren’s hot, quick breath against my neck as he tries to focus on kissing me there. 

I feel a hot splatter against my hip when he releases, a long breath rolling over my shoulder as he exhales deeply, clearly satisfied. The running water of the shower suddenly sounds very loud as we both come down from our respective orgasms and Eren is the first to look back up at me and say something.

“So can I call you my boyfriend?” Eren asks with a surprisingly innocent twinkle in his eyes. I roll my own and gently stroke his wet hair out of his face, thumbing his temples affectionately. 

“I guess,” I tell him with a smile and he just beams at me. Who’d have thought this kid was so fucking sentimental. 

“Great,” he says, leaning back away from me so he can reach the body wash for us to clean up for a second time. We get out and now we’re sated neither of us make any moves on the other while we’re drying off. I towel off my hair and realise something. 

“Shit,” I mutter in Russian. Eren hums in question. 

“What’s up?” 

“All my clothes are in car,” I say. 

“Oh, here, take these and we can get them out later?” he says from the bedroom, passing me a change of underwear and a small t-shirt. Eren’s a medium and I’m a small or extra small when stores stock that size, so thankfully it’s not too big. Eren could probably fit a large but apparently he likes the mediums to show off his muscles. Vain bastard. 

“Thanks,” I say, pulling the offered garments on. 

We agree on breakfast and I tell him I’ll be back in about six hours after seeing a couple of regular clients. He won’t be home by then, but I can at least bring in my suitcases and get some sleep before my night shift. I’ll see both of them for dinner before I leave. 

The day pans out nicely and as promised I see them both for dinner. Erwin tells me about his day and I can’t help but think about mine and Eren’s morning shower- all made possible by Erwin’s suggestion. The look on his face tells me he suspects his plan worked. Eren and I both feel a lot more relaxed around each other, and Erwin with myself, too. 

Erwin is a genius in disguise. He’s always calculating some sort of master plan that no one truly knows all of the details to. It’s like he’s the puppet master of some great and mysterious play that we’re all playing roles in but don’t realise it. Kinda like that movie where his whole life was a TV show and he didn’t know it. 

One of these days I hope I’ll get a chance to see the working mechanisms in that mind of his. 

Anyway, things at home are currently all well on day one after a slightly rocky first attempt and we all decided I won’t need to stay at the hostel any longer, as they’ll have me immediately. Erwin wants me saving my money if I’ve been living on beans on toast for the last month and a half. 

Work that night at the factory would be an interesting shift. 

The manager calls me into his office for ‘a chat’.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [We're at the halfway mark, honestly if you've not read this hilariously sexy spin-off, you must!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10311314)

I get home and I’m in a terrible mood. I’ve been dwelling over what my boss told me when he pulled me into the office. I was right in my workflow too, so it disturbed my rhythm for the rest of my shift. Eren and Erwin have noticed.

“What happened at work?” Erwin asks me when we’re all at the dinner table the following night. I didn’t get home until after he’d left for work so it was just Eren and I for a couple of hours in the morning before we both left for our respective day jobs. I get home first so I cook and manage to squeeze a couple of hours of poor quality sleep in after tidying up. 

“What you mean?” I ask. 

“You seem a bit pissed,” Eren says, pointing out the obvious.

“Ugh, bad night at work,” I say. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Erwin asks. I consider it. It isn’t so bad when I think that I’ve got these two for suggestions or advice. I’d say I look more to Erwin for advice. He’s got a sensible head on him, years of maturity on Eren and is generally a little more solid. Eren’s good for other things but Erwin’s our household rock. 

“So is about halfway through my shift, yes,” they both turn quiet, occasionally continuing to eat their dinner. “The manager tells me, he say ‘Levi come to office, I need to speak with you,’ he say, so I go.” 

“What’d he say?” Eren asks, mouth full of half chewed food. 

“He tell me they are making more cut in night shift, but he offer me promotion to day shift.” 

“That’s a good thing, right?” Eren asks, sounding pleased and confused. Erwin is clearly holding his expression back for the punchline he can clearly see I have planned. 

“Well yes and no,” I elaborate. “I lose the night shift and the pay rise make up the difference with day shift, but I lose my cleaning clients.” 

Erwin’s pressing his lips together as if he’s piecing together all of the information. “So you take the pay rise and get a regular working schedule, but you lose the client base you’ve been building, or limit them to two days a week,” he surmises. I nod. 

“Exactly.” 

“So, you have to choose between losing one job or the other?” Eren says. I nod again. 

“Which one pays more?” Eren asks. 

“The cleaning, but there are less hours.” Erwin looks thoughtful at that. 

“You want to start your own business so surely the best direction would be to pursue more clients. You could raise your hourly rate.” He suggests. I shove more food into my mouth as Eren agrees with him. It's a good idea.

“I can drop fliers off on my runs, tell the gym all about you,” Eren offers with a big smile, excited. 

I still feel conflicted about it, but Erwin made a very good point: I’m good at cleaning, I can charge more, drum up a bit more business. It still feels like a risk though. 

“They give me month notice for night shift, maybe I try it, but I don't want to put you out for longer than need,” I tell them. 

“Stay as long as you need to. We’re not in any hurry to boot you out,” Erwin says. I reluctantly nod along. I haven't got somewhere better to stay so i’ll have to accept the hospitality while hoping I don't outstay my welcome. 

“Tell me if you want me to go,” I say firmly. I know they will, given how well they communicate with each other. I’ll have to trust that they’ll be honest with me if I'm in the way or if they need more rent. Erwin just smiles gently and Eren rolls his eyes. They exchange a side glance. 

“We will.” 

Wonderful. Roll on my next day off. The next one is Sunday and both Erwin and Eren are not working. I haven’t made any plans with either of them, just wanting to sleep the day away and watch movies in my pajamas. If anything comes up I’ll see about it on the day. 

Erwin has sorted me out with the council, registering my residence here and we agreed on a very fair amount to pay toward utilities. I initially turn him down on his first suggestion, but it turns out they have a generous rate with their energy providers given how long Erwin has been a customer of theirs, so he’s managed to swindle the best deals. I imagine his silver tongue lent a helping hand too… 

I was awake all night and apparently Erwin snores. I'm glad I sleep at a time of day when they’re up and about, not making too much noise, especially if they’re at work. Sleeping isn't easy for me since I need absolute silence joint with pitch black in order to properly fall asleep. I wish I could sleep a little longer each time but I seem destined to get three or four hours each afternoon. I’ve been doing it this way for years, so my schedule has never allowed space for it to change. 

Which reminds me of my work dilemma. It feels like losing the factory job is a gamble, so I decide to look for other business that offer night shifts or late shifts in corporate cleaning. Apparently a lot of them pay quite well and offer times from 4am up to 8am or 8pm to midnight. I’m awake for all of those, so I fill out three application forms on my phone from my bed in the spare bedroom. The room needed a clean and a lot of the spare crap they were storing ended up in Erwin’s office so at least it isn't in my way. 

It just feels a bit empty is all. 

Maybe I could buy a plant or something. 

I can hear the distinct squeal of Eren being tickled downstairs. He’s incredibly ticklish and Erwin knows every spot to assault. I’m still not quite sure where I stand with Erwin. I mean, I like him, but he's far more reserved with his approach than Eren. I do feel like we are friends but it also feels like he's holding himself back from becoming anything beyond that. Maybe he’ll prove me wrong and make a move. 

That and I still haven't gotten used to the noises of him getting busy with Eren while I’m still within earshot. It's not jealousy I feel, I can't quite place words to it yet. It's weird. I can hear them starting to come up the stairs and thank god my door is shut. 

Not that it fucking helps. 

The pair of them thud into my door loudly and I startle, glaring at the door. I can hear shuffles and panting on the other side of the door. The fuckers are swapping spit on the other side. My poor balls are destined to be forever blue in this fucking house. 

“Fuck off!” I tell them. 

“But- haa- Levi!” Eren complains childishly, getting interrupted as half the words get swallowed by presumably Erwin’s mouth. “But we want you…” he whines again and I get up to swing the door open from under them. They barely part and just smirk at me. Erwin’s face is flushed and his hair is a mess. Neither of these dirty motherfuckers have had a shower yet, still in their pajamas. 

“Come on, Eren,” Erwin pulls on Eren’s tee shirt and drags him into the bedroom. Something about his small display of dominance has my interest piqued. 

“Levi?” I hear his voice ask as they disappear into the bedroom. I poke my head around the corner with a confused look on my face. The hell do they want me for? 

“You remember I have appointment at clinic yes?” I chastise them both. They’re sat on the bed, Eren straddling his husband as said husband looks at me. Eren just carries on with his own business, sucking and biting little light pink marks into Erwin’s chest and neck. 

“I remember, but just because you haven't had the test yet doesn't mean you can't watch…” 

Suddenly my throat feels dry. They want me to what? 

“Eh?”

“Take a seat,” Erwin says coolly, gesturing to the armchair in the corner of the room by the ensuite door. I can't find the words to respond, Erwin’s tone leaves no room for argument or disobedience. My legs are complying before the movement has fully caught up with my logical thinking brain. 

I have about an hour before I'm due to leave. The dull ache in my groin wishes it was more like ten minutes. 

I sit and Eren’s eyes flicker over to me, lighting up with excitement in that usual way that they do. It lights his whole face up but this time instead of a childlike innocence, that excitement translates into pure desire. I swallow thickly and plant myself in the seat, adjusting the cushion and sitting far more tensely than I probably realise.

“Just relax, Levi. Eren will put on a good show for you, won't you babe?” 

“Mmhm,” Eren hums as his eyes dart up to meet mine. “Levi’s been such a good boy around the house for us, he deserves a treat,” he says seductively, returning to kissing Erwin. Erwin’s large hands cup around Eren’s ass rather nicely and Eren grinds his hips down against Erwin’s lap as he thoroughly tongue-fucks his face. 

It’s obscene and I’m so fucking turned on right now. Would it be weird to touch myself while they’re getting it on in front of me? I’ve not exactly been in this situation before. Usually sex in person involves sex with the actual person whenever I end up in that situation. This one is new. I guess I’ll hold back for now. 

Eren breaks free for air and pushes Erwin’s pajama top off from his shoulders. From my angled view from the chair in the corner, I get a perfect view of Erwin’s muscular back. He hides that one well, it’s so much better seeing it in the flesh. Eren I know looks like a fucking chiseled statue under those clothes - he walks around the house in his boxers because it’s ‘most comfortable’ apparently. Erwin is a little more reserved. 

“Pull the chair over Levi,” Erwin instructs. “I want you to have a good view.” 

“And we want a good view of you,” Eren purrs. 

I comply and get up to move the armchair over to the foot of the bed. I take my seat, feeling even more awkward now I’m in the spotlight. I’m dead center, front row of the audience. My anticipation drains away when Eren pushes Erwin back against the bed so he can make rid of his pajama bottoms. 

I whistle, impressed. Eren smirks at me. Erwin’s a fucking monster. Where the fuck has he been hiding that dick, up his ass? 

“Fuck,” I breathe without realising, feeling far more aroused than I probably should. 

“Impressive, isn’t he?” Eren says with a playful smile, stroking up and down Erwin’s impressive length. All I can do is nod dumbly. I don’t know what I want to do more, fuck him or be fucked. I don’t think I’ll have much of an ass left if he takes me but I love a challenge. 

“Very,” I mumble half to myself, in Russian. Neither of them point out the slip. Eren repositions himself away from me so I can see absolutely everything he’s doing to Erwin’s cock with his mouth. He does most of the work with his hands - yes, both of them, twisting and stroking around the base as he works the tip with his tongue and lips. 

I can’t wait to have that mouth on me. Or that dick in me. Or anything. Fuck why is my appointment today and not a week ago? I feel so hard watching this filthy display. The ache in my groin grows far too much to ignore. I slip my hand just low enough into my lap to brush a couple of fingers against my own cock while Eren continues to slather Erwin’s in his spit, slicking it all up generously and making obscene slurping noises. 

Now that Erwin’s cock is completely erect, Eren struggles to fit the whole thing in his mouth… and Eren has a big mouth. I’m pretty sure my gay little soul has upped and left the building because I’m in heaven right now. 

“Ah, Levi,” Erwin says with a tsk, head tilted toward me as Eren continues going to town on his manhood. “No touching just yet,” he tells me and my hand stills against my trousers, eyes wide. I feel my face flush with embarrassment and a little bit of shame at having been told off. I’m not used to being instructed to do anything other than just fuck someone or lay on my back and spread my legs. 

I’m not used to drawing it out and actually enjoying it. 

I sit with both feet firmly planted to the floor, arms on the arm rests and hands practically gripping onto the corners for dear life. Thank god I’m not getting down and dirty on this chair because this thing is velvet and in no way am I cleaning spunk out of velvet. 

I’m seriously thinking about cleaning while these two are having oral sex right in front of me. It must be a coping mechanism my brain defaults to when my fucking cock has been half hard for months thanks to these two. Fucking test. As soon as I get the all clear I’m nailing one of these guys against Nile’s bedroom door. Probably Eren. Then I’ll get Erwin to take me with that glorious cock up against Nile’s desk and I’ll paint the whole fucking thing white and leave it there for him to clean. 

On second thought that would be disgusting. Maybe not.

Vindictive thoughts of snotty teenagers aside, I sit back and try to enjoy the view. It’s hard, I’m hard, Eren and Erwin are both hard and oh wow there goes Eren’s clothes. My mind plays a delicious guessing game of what they’re going to do next. 

“Levi,” Erwin says softly, breath heavy as Eren has worked him up to the point of orgasm and left him there to calm down. “Say something in Russian?” 

I’m confused, but I play along. 

“Uh, ‘something’?” I say in my mother tongue, unsure what he’s requesting. 

“Say something sexy, he means.” Thanks for the clarity Eren. I think about it for a moment. 

“I found a new window cleaner that doesn’t streak,” I say again in my first language, with a smirk. It’s really damn good cleaner and makes the windows look sexy as fuck. I found it in the pound shop too. Pleased with that one. 

Wait. 

Did Erwin just moan?

Hold up. They find my speaking Russian sexy? Sexy of all things. Fuck I’m in luck. I think I understand what they want now. Oh man this is fun. 

“I can’t wait for the results to come back,” I say, leaning forward in my chair as Eren grabs the lube and starts slicking himself up. He has pretty regular sex so I guess he must be fairly loose. That or a complete masochist. Oh wait, he’s literally straddling Erwin and lining himself up. He’s going for it ladies and gents. 

From my new angle I can see everything side-on. The way Erwin’s chest rises and falls with his panting, the way Eren’s thighs strain to keep himself in position as he slowly sinks onto Erwin’s cock, the thick flesh disappearing into Eren’s tight hole. Dammit I want to touch myself. I need to. I twitch in my seat and try my best to not rub my thighs together. 

“Don’t stop Levi, it’s so fucking sexy,” Eren insists, so I groan and think of a few other things I can say. 

“I can’t wait for one of you to fuck me against every piece of furniture in this house,” I say, voice dropping low and sensual and I all but drawl the last of it out, accentuating each word. They can’t understand it, but they both moan lowly at the sound of it, imaginations probably going wild with delight at what I may be saying.

Eren starts moving his hips once he’s adjusted, rolling in small circles. Erwin grips his hips and I have to cross my legs to stop myself from touching myself. I pay rapt attention to every single movement. Each move of a hand to brush hair out of their eyes, each squeeze of their fingertips against increasingly sweaty skin, everything. 

It's tough paying attention when I'm so damn hard and I can't do a thing about it. My trousers have tented impressively and I'm so glad they’re black. Pretty sure my underwear is getting wet. 

Eren grunts as Erwin thrusts up into him, hands on his hips keeping him firmly in place. How long have I been sat here? It must only have been about ten, fifteen minutes tops, but it feels like hours. Painful, pent up hours. 

Nothing new, in that case. 

“Is that how you’d ride my cock, Eren?” Eren swings his head around to look at me when he hears his name amidst the Russian. He looks a mess already- hair tousled, cheeks and chest flushed red, ass cheeks pink from where Erwin has been squeezing them. Damn I wish Erwin would give that ass a good slap. It's so lovely. 

Their speed increases and I'm transfixed by seeing the pair of them in action. 

“Levi,” Eren pants. “Levi I want you,” he continues. He sounds close. Erwin said no touching. I’m going to hold him to that. I’ve always preferred watching someone else do it first before practicing myself, and what a pair of teachers I've ended up with. 

Eren moans out Erwin’s name as he comes across his husband’s chest and judging by the way Erwin’s hips falter in their rhythm ever so slightly, he peaks moments later after a few more thrusts. They share a slow kiss before Eren unmounts his stallion. 

Erwin sits up and looks at me. Eren flops over and grabs the hand towel he uses on his pillow, cleaning himself up. I don't get to pay much attention to Eren however, as Erwin gets up and rounds the bed, standing in front of my chair. I'm frozen in place. The fuck is he planning with that stupid smirk? 

“Call it an incentive to get your test results back quickly..” he says, voice like silk. It does horrible and wonderful things to my cock. What does even more wonders is the way Erwin props a knee to the side of my legs, (the chair is way too small for him to straddle me), and proceeds to kiss me roughly with a hand on my crotch. 

He palms at my erection and I moan shamelessly loud against his mouth. Fuck, I've never known pleasure like this. It doesn't take more than a few seconds and I'm clenching onto the armrests like my life depends on it, orgasm wracking my entire body. It washes from my cock to my brain and back up and down my body and it's a good thing it's laundry day, because I feel soaked. 

He pulls away and I must look a right state. 

“I look forward to you joining in some time,” he says before getting up and sauntering into the bathroom. Eren gets up to join him and winks at me, the cheeky son of a bitch. 

He leans down to kiss me on the cheek.

“Don't be late for that appointment now…”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I took photos of where they go on their date.](http://agent-2-6.tumblr.com/post/155858907565/yukanol-fukov-chapter-11)

I have my test. The results come back clean. We’re good to go. Let's do this. 

Nothing happens. 

We’re all busy for the next week and a half and although there hasn't been any mind blowing sex, I don't mind. These two are great to be around- I get along well with both of them both alone as well as together. Whatever it is we’ve got going on here, it seems to be working. 

On the work front I have informed Erwin and Eren of my upcoming interview next week. One of the corporate companies came back to me with a full night shift available for a six month contract, so I'm going to go for it. It would suit me perfectly while I build up my reputation. 

After dinner I head through to the pantry to organise the shopping Eren brought back with him and Erwin approaches, leaning on the door frame. At first I think he's heading to the toilet but when he doesn't I look up. 

“So after your interview, are you free that night?” 

“I am.” 

“I’d like to take you out on a proper date, just us two.” 

“Okay.” 

“Wonderful,” he smiles at me and returns to the kitchen to help Eren tidy up. I spend that night researching interview questions. There's not long left until I have to either take the day shift or surrender the night shift to redundancy.

I think if I haven't got a job lined up before then, I might take the day shift and just quit when I find another job. It's still worrying me, being out of work. 

Last week Erwin helped me to design a new leaflet to hand out for cleaning - apparently my handwritten slips written with awful grammar aren't very effective at selling myself. The new ones do look good though. Everything is typed up and printed onto thick card. Very professional. Erwin also sources me a company that he works with that will give me a generous referral discount on business cards, so we order those on the same day. I can't wait for them to arrive. 

After I get home from my interview and start trying to get some sleep, the damn doorbell goes so I head downstairs, opening it with a frown to a courier. I sign my life away and take the package, taking it to the coffee table and sitting down to open it up. 

They’re beautiful. It’s a dark green and white card with my name on the green side in white text and my details on the white side in green text. It's simple, to the point, and I love them. I snap a quick picture and send it to Eren with a smiley face. He texts back with a million emojis and ‘they look gr8!!’. 

Damn straight they look ‘gr8’. 

Hah, rhymes. 

Right. Shower, get dressed, wait for Erwin to get home. It doesn't take me long to sort myself out and I stare at myself after slapping some cologne on and prod at the bags under my eyes. I’d love a day job, I really would. Once I’m big in the cleaning biz I’ll be happy. Until then I must wait. I must wait with my bags. 

It’s another half an hour before Erwin gets back and he makes a beeline for upstairs to clean up. He only takes about twenty minutes, fortunately he doesn't waste time when he's got a deadline to stick to. He’s very efficient like that. 

I polish my shoes while I wait for him to get ready. My time in the military drilled shiny ass shoes into me so I can't ever wear filthy footwear. Every part of shoes I own gets cleaned after I wear them, or at least before I wear them again. It makes them feel nice and new and fresh. 

“Ready?” I ask as he comes into the living room. He’s got a white shirt on with blue jeans and a smart jacket. He goes for the black oxfords on the shoe rack. He looks like some sort of preppy varsity poster boy. All that's missing is the turn ups on the jeans and the rowing paddle tie. 

“Just abouts, yes. Are you ready?” 

“Yes. For two hour now,” I exaggerate with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and grabs a coat. I get up and pocket a few business cards, putting my own coat on. 

“Do you mind taking the tube?” He asks. I shake my head. 

“Where we are going?” 

“Into the city, since you said you haven't had a chance to see much of it yet.” 

“Oh, yes sure. Is okay. Lead way.” 

It's a ten minute walk to the station and we get ourselves an underground train into Central London. It takes about twenty minutes and Erwin tells me about each stop and what there is to do in that part of town. I’d get a job in the city if the trains weren't so damn expensive. London is like some sort of colourful mismatch of cultures. Each part of the city has its own communities with stores to reflect on it, but the center seems much more British.

Erwin and I get off at Piccadilly Circus and the first thing I notice is the huge rounded advertisement screens hugging the buildings behind us. It's like time square you see in New York in the movies but a lot smaller. 

There are a lot of historical buildings, tourist attractions, tourists, tourists and more tourists. There's a few ‘locals’ dotted in amongst the lot, heading home from work into busy train stations and bus stands. 

“Where is London Bridge?” I ask as Erwin leads us down one of the many roads that branch out from Piccadilly. The buildings are so tall I can barely orientate myself. You can't exactly see the landmarks from the ground unless you’re closeby apparently.

“It's along the river, further south,” he explains. So we’re north of the river. Alright. 

Erwin slows to a stop and I mimic him. It's cold out and it's busy but we stop up against an old wooden door across the street from a big green building. 

“This is where I wanted to take you first,” he says, pointing at said green building. Fortnum and Mason… rings a bell. We cross the street and by the windows it looks like some sort of green grocer. The double wooden doors are reminiscent of Victorian times and the interiors are decadent. 

Stalls and fancy shelves and a huge spiral staircase in the middle. Green products everywhere and the staff are in suits with ties to match. Classical music is playing and I remember the song from a ballet my sister dragged me to last year. 

We don't go far, however, as Erwin takes me to the left side of the ground floor, only for my eyes to lay upon tea. An entire department of tea. Morning teas, afternoon teas, world teas, endless British teas named after queens and kings and there's just so many. 

Erwin chuckles but the sound is peripheral. My mind is honed in on the goods. They sell everything you could dream of relating to teas. Literally everything. There's a bit of coffee toward the back but tea seems to dominate the floor space. Tea in bags, tins, jars. 

“Why you can't come here eh?” I ask Erwin after my glazed over wonder dissipates and I've had a good look around at all the different types. 

“Do you want to stock up before we go? My treat.” I blink and stare at him for a moment. This place is not cheap but dammit I _need_ this tea in my life. We end up settling on a tin of classic Earl Grey for Erwin and a tin of cranberry black tea for me. I'm practically cradling them against my chest as Erwin promises he works closeby and can always pop in to get more. 

“Are you hungry?” He asks. I shrug. 

“A bit.” 

“What do you fancy?” 

“What is options?” 

“Well there's a good steak house down the road, or there's a European place, Italian, Japanese- quite a lot actually.” 

“Steak sounds good.” 

“Alright,” he announces with a smile, we pay for our tea and head back out with my light green bag in hand. I’m guarding this tea with my life. I can't wait to try it. 

We end up in an American style restaurant on a little back street somewhere in soho, and the whole thing is in a basement. It's a Tuesday, and it's early still, so it's pretty quiet. They sit us in a corner booth, which I'm thankful for- dates are awkward when you’re forced to sit opposite someone in plain view. 

We lose our coats and I rest the tea on the seat next to me. We have a look over the menu and both find some steaks and sides we like the look of. I thought it would be more expensive. We get some drinks on the go and I'm glad we both took the train. It takes the pressure of driving off, even if Erwin’s car probably runs smoother than butter. 

“Have you made up your mind about what you want to do with work?” Erwin asks. I rest my elbows on the table and rub my cheek with a soft groan. 

“Not yet. I think I am leaving factory next week. I’m stressed.”

Erwin frowns softly and takes a sip from his wine. 

“Well think of it this way,” he says calmly. “You said you have some savings, so you’ll have some time to get some new clients. I have two people at work who might be interested. They live in our area.” 

“Oh, cool,” I say, smiling slightly. The prospect of new clients helps to ease my nerves but until I have the money in hand, I'm reserving my happiness. 

“How did your interview go?” 

“It seem okay, I think.” 

“Do you have anything else lined up?” 

“Can we talk about you?” I ask. I’d rather forget about my shitty situation and just get Erwin to talk. He gives my request a nod of understanding and he smiles.

He tells me about his family, or what’s left of them, tells me more in depth about his past, his work, the work at work, his colleagues and I soak it all up. He lives a life so far removed from my own that I can only dream of what it feels like to make big bucks in a corporate world. He’s in senior management for a foreign currency firm after working as a stockbroker for most of his life. 

The conversation travels wherever we let it and I join in more and more as food arrives and disappears and a cheesecake appears between us with two dessert forks. I’m feeling much more relaxed now, but Erwin’s offer will still have to be declined. 

“Oh, of course,” he says once I hold a hand up and shake my head subtly. “Milk, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you allergic to anything else?” Erwin asks. I pretend to think about it before smirking. 

“Bullshit?” 

Erwin laughs and I grin along with him. I notice him shuffle a little closer once his laughter abides and I can’t help but to scoot a little closer myself. I still have next to no idea what I’m doing with regards to dating, so I just follow his lead. 

“Where are we going next?” I ask. 

“There’s a few things I had in mind, it all depends on what you want to do. We’re in the heart of the Theatre district so we could go see a play. There are cinemas and bars and parks for walking. We could always wander down to Trafalgar Square. There’s an art gallery there that’s usually very quiet at this time of day.” 

Well shit, that’s a lot of options. I’d be fine with any of them to be honest. 

“What you want to do?” I ask instead. 

“Let’s take a look at what’s on nearby,” he says, fishing out his phone and searching for plays. “How about ‘The Phantom of the Opera’? Starts in half an hour.” 

I look at the time. It’s 7pm. Still early. I nod. “Sounds good, let’s do that.” 

Erwin flags a waitress over to pay and we slip back into our coats and take a quick bathroom break before we leave. Once back upstairs I look at the street, fluffy snow showering down in thick gusts. Neither of us have an umbrella. 

“Is theatre far?” I ask. Erwin shakes his head, tapping away on his phone once more. 

“I’ll just book the tickets now so we can go straight over.” 

“Okay.” 

Once he’s booked the tickets we zip up and head out. I wedge my right hand between his body and arm as I hold his wrist, the other hand stuffed into my pocket to keep it warm. It feels a little more like a date now. It’s nice. It’s peaceful and civilised and it feels so normal. Like, this is what normal people do on normal nights out together, right? Pretty sure this is how a date goes. Anyway I’m having fun, but I can feel my interview from earlier catching up with me. 

I didn’t sleep. 

At all. 

We get back to Piccadilly and we’re heading down a street when I spot a small corner shop, pulling Erwin’s arm toward it. 

“Come, I get drink or I fall asleep on play.”

We detach and I get myself an energy drink, wedging it into my pocket and re-attaching myself to Erwin’s arm as he leads the rest of the way. It’s dark out now and the snow is hitting me in the back of the neck, making me cold. I hate snow. I might be Russian and it might snow in Russia like a motherfucker but that doesn’t mean I like the stuff. It’s cold and wet and inconvenient. 

Anyway, for all of my attempts to stay awake, unfortunately I miss a few chunks of the play where I’m sleeping on Erwin’s shoulder. I’m too tired to feel embarrassed by the time we get out but what I did see of it was pretty good. I’d go and see it again after an afternoon of sleep. Erwin’s got a smile on his face as we’re heading back up to the underground station.

“What are you smiling at?” I ask, getting pelted on by snow as he fucking stops in the middle of the damn street. The big advertisement screens really light up the whole square, the huge fountain and the white buildings lighting up brightly against the dark night sky, currently peppered with white. 

“Can I not smile?” He teases. I’m still attached to his arm so when he faces me we’re pressed together making our height difference incredibly noticeable. I slip my Fortnum’s bag around my elbow and bury my hands in the tip of his scarf as he wraps his hands around my shoulders to tuck his fingers into the furry collar of my coat. 

“No you can’t smile. Not like that.” 

“Why not?” he says with a grin. I can’t help but smile too. Just a little bit. 

“Because it mean you going to try something stupid.” He laughs at that and I roll my eyes. 

He doesn’t say anything else but that stupid smile is pressed up against my lips a moment later. They’re surprisingly warm considering how cold it is outside. I feel a little disappointed when he pulls away and my hands in his scarf pulls him down for another kiss. We’re getting wet and the snow is everywhere and my feet are cold but to hell with it. We’re not getting any drier that’s for sure. 

Once we part a second (or third) time, we smile at one another and Erwin takes my hand, leading us back down into the underground so we can get home. He’s got work tomorrow after all. 

The trains run a lot faster at night time and I find myself falling asleep against Erwin’s shoulder one more time before he nudges me gently. We’re already there. I practically slept the whole way. Hopefully he isn’t upset about my sorry ass falling asleep on our date. I feel a bit bad for it but for the most part I enjoyed myself and I don’t see why Erwin didn’t enjoy himself for the most part as well. 

The snow has stopped by the time we get back home and we let ourselves in quietly, assuming Eren is sleeping. There’s a note stuck to the living room doors as we’re taking our coats off saying ‘Erwin + Levi. staying w Mikasa 2nite, c u tomorrow 8am, love Eren xx’. 

“Looks like the place is ours tonight,” Erwin says with a boyish grin, waving the note. I smirk at him and if he’s thinking what I’m thinking - we are getting laid tonight.


	12. Chapter 12

Unlike how I imagine the end of a date with Eren might go, this doesn’t come close. All of our clothes are on still, shoes are off and tidy and the kettle is being boiled so we can have a cup of our new tea. I have my favourite cup which Erwin brings through - it’s like a rounded body tumbler with it’s own strainer that sits on the inside with a little lid. It hasn’t got a handle - I don’t use them anyway. 

“Thank you,” I tell him as he brings the tea to the lounge, sitting down beside me to drink his own slowly. “Sorry I fall asleep,” I add. He smiles, so he must be okay with it.

“I had a good time tonight,” he says. “How is the tea?” 

“Very good,” I say. “I have fun too.” As we sit there drinking, I can’t help but feel tense. I finally know what’s going on under them damn jeans. I want at it. I wonder if he would complain if I sucked him off here. Probably not. I’ll at least wait until he’s done with his tea. This shit is good, no blow job would interrupt me finishing a hot cup of this top notch shit. 

I get the feeling he’s watching me from the corner of his eyes. Then again that might be because I’m doing the same to him, not so discreetly checking how far he tips his mug to gauge how much he’s got left to go. As soon as mine is empty and Erwin’s mug joins mine on the coffee table I’m up and moving. I try to make it look as if I’m getting up to go and wash the mugs, but my leg swings over Erwin’s legs and I settle down into his lap, kissing him immediately. 

His large hands are on my hips, squeezing gently as he reciprocates the kiss, opening his mouth as it deepens and significantly more tongue gets involved. His tea tastes slightly different to mine and I can taste the smoothness of the milk for a second before pulling off him. I know it’s good etiquette to clean yourself out before anal sex but _that_ method would be a little extreme. 

“Thanks for the tea,” I tell him, smirking. I want to roll my hips against his but I want to see if he initiates anything himself now I’ve given him obvious permission. He’s simply got a calm look on his face and a hand moves from my waist to brush some hair away from his face. He licks his lips. Shit that’s sexy. 

“Brush your teeth,” I tell him, getting up and taking his hand. I take him upstairs and he disappears into the ensuite as I make my own way to the master bathroom to prepare myself. Thankfully the caffeine in the tea has woken me up a fraction and the prospect of taking that monster cock has me more awake than I’ve felt all evening. 

I head back into the bedroom and Erwin’s sat on the armchair, shirt half undone and suddenly I’m nervous. I steel myself and pretend I’m less anxious than I am. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? 

He stands, losing the shirt and the t-shirt he’s got on underneath leaves nothing to the imagination. It’s tight fitting and I can’t stop my approach, hands outstretched to touch. He leans into my hands and there’s nothing but firm muscle beneath my palms. I hum appreciatively, hands moving south to untuck his t-shirt and get my hands on his bare skin. He lets me roam, unfasten his belt, push his shirt up. 

I’m too fucking short to get the whole thing up off his head so he removes the rest of it and grips my waist. He hunches over to kiss me and after a slow, languid exchange of minty spit, he lifts me and I wrap my legs around his hips, continuing our kiss as he walks us over to the bed and sets me down, bodies still fused together. 

Holy shit this is happening. This is _actually_ happening. 

He looms over me and I rock my hips up, semi swiftly hardening. I can feel his own erection through his jeans and the thick fabric is doing wonderful things to me. The friction is just right. 

“Which way do you prefer?” He asks quietly as he sits back to unbutton my shirt. I’m so damn distracted right now I can’t actually think. I’d had it in my mind that I wanted him to fuck me into the mattress but now the offer is on the table to do the same to him, I’m torn for a moment. The delectable thought of preparing that sweet ass of his and eating him out on his own marital bed is doing excellent work to my dick. 

“I want to taste the bed,” is what comes out of my mouth in as sultry a tone as I can muster. I'm pretty sure it sounded sexier in my mind, being fucked so hard into the mattress I can practically taste the memory foam, but Erwin just smirks at me. 

Then he laughs. 

“What?” I glare at him. 

“Say that again, in Russian,” he purrs against my ear, hands kneading my ass as I rock against him. 

“Fuck me into the mattress,” I tell him in my native tongue, feeling far sexier and a tad silly since he can't understand. I lean back however and the list in his eyes tell me it had it’s desired effect. 

“Much better,” he says with a hungry grin. 

“I don't want to walk straight for days,” I tell him in English. He leans back down to kiss me hard as he hurriedly makes haste in removing my belt and pushing the waistband of my trousers. I lift my hips and we break apart so we can shed the rest of our clothes. 

I feel hot and sweaty already despite now being exposed to the air of the bedroom and all traces of tiredness have left the building. 

“Don't waste time,” I tell him and thankfully he gets the idea, going straight for the nightstand for the lube and a condom. Fuck, he’s got the extra large ones - I'm literally salivating. I lick my lips in anticipation as he rolls himself into a condom. 

“Hands and knees,” he orders me. I feel the command go straight to my cock. I roll myself over and wave my ass at him, feeling my face flush with embarrassment. It’s been a while. 

I flinch when I feel his hand rest on my left side, gently stroking my hip and squeezing my ass. I feel my cheek pull apart as he exposes me and I shiver involuntarily. 

“Easy does it,” he says softly and every movement and shuffle behind me rings in my ears like a loudspeaker. “Tell me if you want me to stop or slow down,” he tells me softly. I feel him bend down to kiss me between the shoulders and I turn my head to try and see what he's doing. He leans closer as I turn to face him and we share a quick kiss before a cold, slick finger at my ass interrupts it when I gasp. 

“Sorry,” I mumble. “You surprise me,” I say. It comes out as more of a breathless huff than anything else and I bury my face into the duvet beneath me. 

Erwin says nothing, still smiling as his finger slides up and down my perineum and down to fondle my balls, my cock hanging between my legs lewdly, leaking slightly onto the covers. I try not to think about the mess. I try really hard. This is incredible and exciting and terrifying all at the same time and my mind is a million miles from the laundry as one of Erwin’s thick fingers presses into me. 

A shiver wracks my entire body, not used to the intrusion. It's pleasurable but thankfully not too intense to force me to come. I feel it drawing me closer though, getting me prepared for something mind blowingly messy. 

Erwin’s hand smoothing along my hip helps to steady me and I pull a pillow up against my face to prop my neck up a little better. Fuck, it's Eren’s and it smells like his cologne. I groan against the pillow, using it to muffle my voice as Erwin stretches me out. 

It feels agonisingly slow and I can't ever say the man isn't thorough. I don't even notice he's got two fingers in there until he starts scissoring them and the pressure is too obvious to be one lone finger. 

“How you doing down there?” He asks. I grunt, shifting my face so it's free of the pillow. 

“Fine,” I say, huffing again as Erwin’s fingertips nudge against my prostate. He's close and I'm hoping he’s planning on fucking me at some point tonight before I embarrass myself on his fingers alone. “You are waiting for invitation?” I ask with an impatient huff. 

Erwin laughs softly but by the look on his face he's feeling just as impatient as me. I return my face to the pillow and I hear the distinct click of the lube cap popping open and shut. I feel his hand back on my hip and he's lining his cock up against me. He teases the head against my ass for a moment, not quite pushing in and sliding away from the hole so I wiggle my hips a little and tut at him, prompting him to get the fuck on with it. 

“Impatient, are we?” 

“Damn fucking straight,” I retort with a little smirk. “Hurry and fuck me,” I tell him. He obeys wordlessly and I feel the pressure building delightfully as he pushes himself in. It's slick and hot and hard and sweet Lord it's so much better than his fingers. He pushes in firmly but slowly, thrusting very gently to ease his cock in bit by bit. 

Inch by glorious inch. 

I'm not sure when he bottoms out but it feels like I can take more. I would laugh at the idea that I wish his already generous size cock was bigger, but he's practically licking my guts with his foreskin as it is. Fucking fabulous. 

That and the fucking curve on the damned thing has it brushing against my prostate with almost every thrust as he slowly starts picking up the pace, settling into a steady rhythm. 

“Tell me when you’re close,” Erwin tells me. I nod against the pillow. 

“Not yet,” I pant out, feeling the delicious burn of my thighs as I try keeping myself up. A glance over my shoulder suggests Erwin is currently thrusting at a strange angle thanks to his height. “You want turn over?” I suggest. He sits up straight and I feel him pull out with a quiet gasp. I roll over quickly and he's back into action on top of me, kissing me as he re-inserts himself, pulling me roughly into his lap.

I haven't felt a body between my legs like this for a while and I can feel it in my groin, that memorable stretch aching in my joints as Erwin thrusts between my thighs, legs spread to accommodate his hips. It's filthy how his skin slaps against mine and that familiar burn of an impending release builds in my abdomen. 

I do my best to keep my legs wrapped around Erwin’s hips but with the slick of sweat between my legs and his sides, it's tough. 

“Wait,” I pant out, the increase in his pace making my groin feel like it's on fire. He slows but doesn't pull out and I'm thankful for the reprieve. I slowly lift my legs up without kicking him and he’s a clever cookie so he quickly gets the idea, moving his arms under the pits of my knees until my legs are positioned up against his chest. 

“Better?” He checks. I nod. 

“Much better.” 

He continues his thrusts again and it feels mildly frustrating that I’ll have to build that same level of pleasure back up again. I’ll definitely have to practice spreading my legs if I plan on living here and dating these two. I should probably start working on my gag reflex too if I have any hopes of sucking any dick like a pro and not some forty year old virgin. 

That aside, I have a perfect view of Erwin’s flushed face framed by my ankles as he thrusts into me hard and fast. Each one ploughs straight into my prostate and I'm having trouble keeping my mouth shut and keeping the stupid grunting noises from escaping my throat. 

Just when I think I can't take the pressure and the heat any longer, I clench my eyes shut and my dick practically explodes. A bad example, but you get those dormant volcanos that aren't actually dormant and they just explode, wiping out civilisations overnight. 

Sure my come isn't exactly going to wreak havoc on generations of mountain-foot dwellers, but it certainly splatters my stomach and chest quite nicely as my orgasm shakes through my body. It's pure bliss.

Pure, sweet, glorious bliss. 

Ah, I sigh, I could get used to this. 

When time resumes and I realise Erwin is leaning down for a kiss, moaning against my lips as he kisses me through his own orgasm, I feel spent. Spent and sticky and sweaty and gross. The pleasure of it all made the mess bearable but now we’re both lying against each other with our chests heaving and hairy sweaty chests rubbing against each other, I feel nasty. 

Erwin rolls off and deals with his condom before lying down next to me. For all the bodily fluids drying on my skin, I can't bring myself to move just yet. My legs are sore, my ass is sore, my throat is sore. I ache in excellent ways. 

“Want me to draw you a bath?” He asks from wherever it is he's lying beside me. I turn my head to look. 

“Nah, give me minute I take shower.” 

“Alright, I’ll jump in now then if you don't mind?” 

“No, go.” 

He doesn't take long in the shower and thank god for that because when I sit up I can feel the lube trickling out of me and oozing and I want to wash up right now. He leaves the water running as we exchange places and it feels so good to take a shower. 

Thoroughly fucked out, lovely tea in my system and now clean, it makes for a great night of sleep. With the prospect of sleeping at a ‘normal’ time on the menu for tonight I briefly toy with the idea of how nice it will be when I'm working day time hours. 

I can't wait.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to Arlene0401 for proof reading all of the chapters so far! :D

Crunch time. I’m currently telling my manager at the factory that I’m going to leave. He gives me the whole piece about it being a disappointment but I can see the insincerity mixed with relief. I understand it's tough to make a hard worker redundant, but my acceptance of the matter makes it easier on both of us. 

Besides, I have a new morning job with a company that has a contract cleaning the head office of the car company that owns the factory. Small world, huh? Not sure if I’ll be cleaning there since they send us wherever we’re needed, but we shall see. It's a huge company so I could end up anywhere. 

Once that's done and dusted I finally get my chance to catch up with Eren and Erwin over dinner. They both share their news and updates first, the only one of interest being an update on Nile staying for a week in three months. Eren’s increase in bench weights is nothing new. 

I tell them I quit at the factory and that my interview came to something. 

“I start new job Monday, 5am.” 

“That's great, Levi!” Eren grins. I can't help but smile a little too. 

Erwin takes us out to dinner a few days later to celebrate and we all get back and end up falling asleep in the same bed. It becomes more common that the married couple invite me into their own bed as the weeks pass, until the point where I just let myself in.

We've worked out that on weekdays, sandwiching Eren in the middle works the best because he's the last one to get up for work whereas on weekends it's Erwin in the middle. 

Another thing I have observed which is quite amusing is, it turns out that Erwin really likes listening to people speak in other languages. It amuses me to no end because over the next couple of months I really get to mess with him. They’ve both picked up on my little pet names I use in Russian and sometimes French when I'm feeling frisky, and it works every time. 

That's why it's amusing. The dopey son of a bitch is fucking smitten and it's damn adorable. He’s always asking me to talk dirty to him in whatever language I want during foreplay and I’m not gonna lie sometimes I slip up during the act too. He seems to enjoy it either way. 

Anyway, my relationships with Eren and Erwin is getting much easier by the day and I’m finding myself worrying a lot less as clients start coming in and my week slowly but surely fills up. I was sort of worried that I would have a hard time managing my time equally between the two men, but it seems both of them are fine with whatever they end up getting. 

It’s not a competition, like I thought it might be. There’s no attempt to equally split me between the two of them. If one week I happen to only spend time with Eren, Erwin is fine with that, and if I only manage to find time for Erwin, Eren is all gravy as well. 

Likewise if I don’t want to deal with either of them it’s very handy that they’re married since they can just fuck off and blow each other. 

As it is when I get the flu in March. I’m usually alright when I get sick. I just disinfect everything I touch with hand sanitizer and religiously catch every single sneeze. I isolate myself from the world and sleep it off. 

When a client tells me to go home and my insistence that I’m okay doesn’t work, I’m forced to sleep. Speaking of sleep my sleep pattern is slowly returning to normal. It’s been years since I slept consistently at night, so it takes a couple of months to fully get into it. Even now I only sleep from about midnight to three or four in the morning at a push. 

Back in my own bedroom I’m trying to sleep throughout the day and I hear a soft knock at the door. It’s Eren with a trash bag and a laundry basket at the door. He leaves them at the door and sets a cup of lemon and honey tea on the bedside table. 

“I would kiss you but you’re all gross,” he says with a smirk. I don’t blame him. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I ache all over and I can’t stop the cold sweats. It’s annoying because I’ve got so many chores I’ve been putting off that I want to do. I had this week set aside specifically because two clients are on holiday. A shame, really, because I don’t really want either Eren or Erwin doing them. I know I will do it properly, to my own standards. 

People call me OCD, but that’s not it. I wish I had the vocabulary and the confidence to tell people in a civilised way that no, I do not have a mental disorder. I just appreciate a proper, thorough job. I have high standards, not OCD. If the dirt stays there another day because I’m tired or Erwin just offered to suck me off, the dirt can fucking stay there. 

Some things in life are more important than cleaning. 

Like reluctantly resting when I’m sick. Any time I get up to do a little something, I am quickly ushered away from it if either Eren or Erwin catch me and they do it for me. It’s so irritating because I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself. Spending all of this time at home and not doing anything is driving me mad. 

I take the tea and slowly sit up to drink it. He’s put some painkillers in it, which is nice, even if it does give it a bitter aftertaste. I quietly let him shuffle around and collect my mountain of tissues beside the bed, my empty glasses and my laundry, and he returns about his business. 

Thankfully having two boyfriends to look after me helps me to get better in record timing. Usually when I get sick I have to just plough through it because I haven’t got any other form of support, but I come out of it the other end feeling so much appreciation for the two of them. Dare I say I love the two of them for everything they’ve done for me. 

It’s been almost four months of us actually dating, so I guess the next step is saying I love them? I’m not sure how this works and whether there is a socially acceptable time frame in which you can say this sappy shit. 

I’ll feel it a little longer or wait for one of them to tell me first before I admit it out loud. 

It’s there though. That stupid warm feeling whenever one of them hugs me or texts me to say good morning. Ugh. I’ve got it bad. 

“What’s Vlad doing here?” I hear a distinct snotty teenage voice say as I’m jogging on the treadmill. Oh joy, is it that time already? 

I power it down and head into the kitchen to find Erwin making a pot of tea for himself and Nile who is sat at the kitchen island. 

“They run out of spot cream at school?” I ask him with a smirk. He glowers at me. Erwin just smiles awkwardly. 

“Now now, boys. Levi lives here,” Erwin says.

“You running out of money or what?” He asks his dad, ignoring me. I head back through to the conservatory, not particularly fussed about joining the welcome wagon for our resident part-time turd. 

“I’ve told you already about Levi,” Erwin says. It’s clear they’ve had this conversation way more many times than Erwin has the patience for. I don’t see Erwin getting irritated much unless dodgy plumbing or Nile is involved. No coincidence the two things that annoy him are both directly related to shit. 

“As long as he doesn’t touch my shit,” Nile gripes. 

“Language, Nile.” 

I smirk as Erwin gives him an earful, knowing full well I can hear him. It only fuels that lovely warm feeling as Erwin defends me against his own spawn. We know each other so much more closely than Nile knows me, so I’m thankful I have an English speaker on my side. Two of them, in fact. Eren is a little more forgiving with him though, since Nile and he have more in common. 

Speaking of which… 

“Where is Eren?” I poke my head out of the conservatory to ask Erwin. He blinks and his eyebrows furrow as he thinks about it. 

“He said he’s running late, did you get the text?” Ah, shit. My phone’s upstairs. 

“No, okay.” I wanted him to spot me but I’ll just have to stick to smaller weights for now. As soon as my workout is done, I head up to the shower and clean myself up. I head out onto the landing and a glimmer to my left catches my eye. There’s a huge chandelier hanging above the staircase - one of those annoyingly off putting tasks I’ve been procrastinating about. 

It’s fucking shiny. Damn fucking shiny. 

“The fuck?” I mutter aloud, only for my eyes to fall toward Eren as he heads up the stairs. 

“Huh?” 

“You get someone to clean that?” I ask him, confused. Did I blank out in a flu-induced cleaning haze? 

“No, I did it myself a few days ago.” 

I lean closer to look at it. I study it hard and Eren comes up the stairs completely, grinning stupidly. I can’t find a damn fault with it. 

He’s still wearing his tracksuit from the gym and I turn to give him a hug, unable to prevent the small laugh that erupts from me. The little fucker cleaned the chandelier. The hug is quick and I can tell Eren wanted to hug me a little longer but I can’t stop staring at it. 

“How I not notice it?” I say, hand covering my mouth as I’m endlessly amused by this. Amused and proud and happy. Eren laughs. 

“I’m glad you like it.” 

“You sure you not buy new one?” I ask, disbelieving. The metal looks brand new. I’m in awe. 

“No,” he chuckles softly, pulling me in for another hug. I grip him a little tighter than I probably ought to given it’s just a light fixture, but I can’t help it. 

“Thank you.” 

“It’s nothing really,” he laughs, still amused by my response. We pull apart just far enough for him to lean in for a quick kiss. 

“You stink, luchik,” I tell him. He kisses my cheek and turns to head into the bedroom and hopefully ensuite. I spend another long moment staring at the chandelier and my day has officially been made. 

I go downstairs and thankfully Nile is in the living room, Erwin at the island typing away on his laptop. I make a beeline for the tea cupboard (which I organised recently, it feels amazing) and ask over my shoulder if Erwin wants some. He’s learnt that if he wants me to make him tea I make it my own way, without milk. 

He hasn't complained yet. I do see him making it black sometimes for himself and Eren too. 

I hand him the cup and rest my chin on his shoulder. He's got his work emails open and I don't understand any of it, so I just kiss his cheek instead, smiling at how he leans into the touch. 

“Thanks,” he says. I lean back up so he can sip his tea, rounding the island to sit opposite. 

“Feeling better?” 

“Eren cleaned the light,” I tell him, smiling. He shakes his head and smiles too. He knows, but I have to say it. “It looks so good. Tell me Erwin, how he do it? It is new light yes?” He just chuckles at that. 

“No, you were practically dead to the world for three whole days, he took a day off and did it all in one go. Did you not hear him taking it down?” 

The fixture is literally right outside my bedroom. How did I not notice that?

“No…” 

“Oh, while I have you here,” Erwin says, “Nile has a rugby match tomorrow, I was hoping you might be able to drive him since you’re feeling better?” 

I purse my lips before sipping my tea. If anyone else had asked I’d say no. I want to say no. I should say no. 

“He hates me.” 

“He doesn't hate you, he just doesn't know you. Maybe this will be a good chance for you to get to know each other? I promise he's not like this all of the time.” 

“Is a phase, yes?” I say with as much sarcasm as I possess.

“I hope so,” he laughs softly.

“Fine, I do.” 

“You’ll take him?” 

“Yes. Where it is?” 

“It's about half an hour away, I’ll text you the address.” 

Great. So this is how I am lumbered with a sweaty teenager en route to a sweaty rugby match. I could come back and get him later but I want to preserve petrol so I decide to stick around for the couple of hours they’re going to be playing. Thankfully it's just a practice match. 

“See ya later,” he calls to his dad as I wait in the car. 

My phone is docked to the dashboard beside the steering wheel and set up obviously in Russian. Nile gets in and I pull out, following the instructions. Hopefully Nile plays on his phone the entire time. This visit he seems a bit different than last time. He's on his phone a lot more. 

“So are you like Russian mafia?” Is the first fucking question he asks when we get out onto the North Circular. 

“If I tell you I have to kill you,” I say with a completely serious expression. Nile is quiet and I can't help but smirk. 

“You’re so full of shit,” he says. I busy myself paying attention to the road and he seems to either stare out the window or tap away on his phone. 

“What, you got girlfriend now?” I ask when we pull up to a red light. He glares at me and I briefly wonder what I did to deserve this again. I've literally said nothing. Teenagers are so damn dramatic over nothing. 

“As a matter of fact I do,” he declares as the light turns green. The car feels tense for a moment before he breaks the ice. “Please don't tell my dad.” 

“He not like her eh?” 

“No, he just hasn't met her yet.” 

“She is ugly?” I can't think of why he wouldn't want to tell Erwin he's got a girlfriend. 

“What? No!” 

“Then she is- ohh-” I get it, I think. 

“What?” Nile says, irritated. 

“She is Catholic?” 

“Uh, no? I don't think so.” 

“Then why you not tell Erwin?” Enlighten me if you will, cause I'm clean out of ideas. At least the conversation isn't dragging like usual. Usually it's like two stags butting heads, not moving. Our conversations are usually one sided one sentenced. 

“Because if I tell him, he’ll want to meet her,” Nile gripes, gripping onto his phone tightly. 

“Why that is bad?” 

“I dunno man, I just don't want to introduce her to anyone until I'm sure it's actually something, you know?” I have a dismal amount of experience with dating so I haven't personally experienced what he is describing. I can understand it though. 

“You not want to look stupid if she break up with you.” 

“Exactly.” 

“Fair enough,” I say. I drive a little while longer before Nile speaks back up. He's being strangely cooperative without Eren or Erwin around. 

“She's Russian,” he admits.

“She will be there today?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Well if I see I will put in good word for you,” I say perhaps a little too jovially to be believable. I can feel Nile boring a hole into the side of my head with his glare. It amuses me. 

“Liar.”

I do laugh at that. “Is true, you are - how you say in English? Royal asshole?”

“So you ain't really gonna help me out here,” he mumbles. 

I pull up to the pitch finally and he's glued back to his phone screen. 

“Ask nice and I may be persuaded,” I tease. As soon as the car is parked he's up and out, taking his bag and heading over to the locker room. There are a bunch of other cars here with parents and siblings and Christ knows who. 

Unfortunately for me, Nile and I both have a very dark brown shade of hair. I look like his fucking dad. I seriously consider staying in the car the whole time and sleeping. 

I call Eren instead when I can't get through to Erwin’s mobile. I tell him the brat made it in one piece and I didn't abandon him on the dual carriageway ten miles out of town. (Tempting as it was.)

I finally will myself to get out and I cringe at the mud beneath the car. I get out and pull my wellies out of the boot from amongst all my cleaning supplies, pulling them out and changing them over before heading to the sidelines. 

My eyes scan over the small crowd of people with little interest and I find myself a seat halfway up the stand. At least it looks like I'm trying to be supportive, even if I spend the next hour playing on my phone. I know nothing about rugby so to me it just looks like they’re having a little wrestle followed by some ball-throwing, running, yelling and getting tackled. 

Pretty sure there's some rules in there. Sadly none involving Nile getting into my car covered in mud. He's surfing the roof if he's got so much as a speck of dirt on him. Getting the seats cleaned is another expense I'd rather go without. I may have my new job but I'm still saving. 

My phone rings with an international number. It's Russian. I can't help but fill with dread. It's never good when family members call me. It usually means someone’s been killed or been admitted to hospital with shards of broken bottle stuck in their face. 

“Yeah?”

“Levi, hey.” It's Farlan, my brother. 

“Hey.” 

“How are you?” 

“I'm stuck at a shitty rugby match with my boyfriend’s kid.” 

“Wait, you’re seeing someone?” 

“Izzy not tell you?” I told my sister I was dating someone and didn't give any other details. They don't need to know everything about me and I like keeping my business private. You would however expect them to communicate a little better living in the same damn house. 

“Well she said you were seeing someone but she didn't really give me any details.” 

“That's cause I didn't tell her anything,” I clarify, sighing. “Anyway what do you want?” 

“Oh yeah, I had some good news and some bad news, which do you want first?” 

Ugh, what now? What possible drama are they gonna swing on me this time. 

“The good news?” 

“Me and Izzy were hoping you could visit us soon. We saved up enough for your flights so you wouldn't have to worry about that.”

Oh, that sounds nice for a change. I haven't been back home since I moved to England almost a year ago. I narrow my eyes though before I can get excited. Nothing comes drama free out of a phone call from home. 

“And the bad news?” Farlan is quiet. “Spit it out.” 

“Mum found a lump on her breast the other day. Doctors say it's cancer, and it's bad.” 

Well fuck.


	14. Chapter 14

“Fuck,” I say after Farlan gives me all of the details pertaining to mum’s treatment. The hospital staff couldn't give a definitive time frame in which she has to live, but if treatment goes well over the next number of months the outlook could be good. 

We’ll have to see about that. 

I hang up and I look at the rugby match but I'm not really paying attention. I feel like another weight has just been added to my shoulders and it feels awful. Like when I was temporarily homeless I feel heavy and miserable all over again. 

Before I can manage to muster up any what ifs and spiralling negative thoughts, I overhear a pair of teenage girls talking in the seats in front of me. They’re talking about boys. Nile, specifically. The blonde one on the right seems to be the girlfriend and keeps looking over her shoulder. 

Why?

Why are teenagers so fucking cryptic? Doesn't matter where they’re from they’re all hardwired to turn into assholes for five years when they hit fifteen. 

Unfortunately my teenage asshole ‘off switch’ was defective and my mum couldn't take me back for an exchange, hard as she tried. 

“What?” I tell her when she looks over at me once more. 

“Oh, sorry,” she says, speaking Russian. “Are you Nile’s brother?” 

I blink. I hadn't expected them to actually think we were related. “Do I look like his brother?” I can't hide the twinge of annoyance in my tone. 

“Well, a little.” Don't you dare fucking suggest I'm his little brother either. I realise I have no idea how much she knows about her boyfriend’s dad’s dating habits.

“I'm not related to that snotbag, I rent a room in his dad’s house where he's staying now.” 

“Oh, I see. What's his dad like?” 

“He's a cool guy, Nile not letting you meet him?” 

“Not yet, I've met his mum though a few times and she's really nice.” I remember her well from Christmas last year. ‘Nice’ is not a word I would put to her. I simply hum at the girl.

“You live with him, do you know why Nile wouldn't want me to meet his dad?” She's trying to dig up dirt on him and I love it. 

“Probably because of his porn he stashes under the bed at his house.” 

“What?!” She giggles and her friend, presumably English, looks confused given she probably doesn't speak the same language. 

“Yeah he's a slob.” 

“But he's so tidy at school..” 

“Now that's a surprise. He treats the house like a hotel. It's annoying.” 

The girl smiles a little before looking thoughtful. “You think maybe you could ask Nile’s dad to suggest it to him?” Going round the back, I like it. 

“You really wanna meet him huh? I’ll see what I can do.” 

“Thank you….” 

“Levi.” 

“Marie, nice to meet you.” 

I can see Nile on the pitch looking up at us and glaring and I smile and wave as I shake her cream fluffy-gloved hand. He's gonna hate me for this but oh well. 

When Marie turns back to chat with her friend I'm left with the uncomfortable silence that accompanies thought. I head to the car where it's quiet and pull my phone out, tapping out a message to Erwin and Eren before I have a chance to overthink things. 

‘Ma is sick’ I type out and stare at it, thumb hovering over the send button. I delete it and stare at the blank screen before typing it out exactly the same and sending it. They must both be at work because the message isn't read within the ten minutes I spend staring at the message on the screen. 

For how much of a bitch she was growing up, I can't help but feel guilty for the relief I feel. You shouldn't feel glad that a parent might die. Maybe I shouldn't go home to see her. 

What if she does get taken out by the cancer and I regret not going?

What if I go and nothing has changed? 

“Fuck,” I mutter. After another half an hour people are starting to trickle back to their cars and thankfully Nile has changed out of his muddy kit. He's one of the last people to come back to the parking lot since he was probably busy sucking face. 

“Ready?” 

“Yeah,” he says.

The drive back is pretty quiet, Nile asks what I was talking to his girlfriend about and I assure him I didn't tell her anything that would make him look bad. Nothing much, at least.

“I say I live with Erwin and that I know you. That is all I say.”

I don’t really feel like talking. I just want to get back and think quietly about what I’m going to do. I’m sure Eren or Erwin will be able to help. I’m good at making rational decisions by myself but a little advice often goes a long way. That’s something I’m learning about being in a relationship. 

Thankfully the drive back is quiet. Nile’s clearly texting his girlfriend to find out what we talked about but when he doesn’t say anything I assume he’s satisfied with whatever she says. That reminds me I have to let Erwin know about her when Nile goes back to school. It doesn’t make sense that he wouldn’t mind introducing her to his mother but not his father. 

Does she not know he’s married to another man? It took even me, a grown ass man a few weeks to get my head around the situation so I can imagine a teenage girl would probably be worse. I don’t blame Nile, really. It’s a unique circumstance that not everyone might understand. 

I spend the rest of Nile’s three days of staying at the house avoiding everyone. I know they’ll want to talk about my short text, but as soon as we do I know I’ll have to start thinking about making a choice. As if by the world’s most annoying miracle, I start the car up in the morning and the radio is playing. The lyrics are constantly repeating ‘should I stay or should I go’. 

Fucking radio. I turn the shitty thing off with a resentful stab of my finger. 

I go about my daily business at the cleaning company and then follow onto a few residential clients throughout the afternoon. It successfully distracts me and I get home to find a pleasantly Nile-free environment. I can hear Erwin and Eren upstairs along with the familiar creak of the bed.

I’m not in the mood. 

I retreat quickly to the kitchen and round the corridor into the pantry at the end. I open up the cleaning closet and start taking everything out. It’s not been cleaned thoroughly for about a month so it definitely needs doing. It will calm me down a little too. I have been feeling the tension building and I’ve ignored another three calls from home and a couple of texts from my boyfriends. 

Part of me doesn’t want to lose her and part of me wants to just disappear and have nothing to do with it. That’s part of why I moved out here in the first place. The whole setup back home was toxic. I’m happier now than I can ever recall being in that household. Sure, my brother and sister made it bearable but it was just the way everything was run in the building I was unfortunate enough to call home. 

That house was why I joined the military - to get away from it.

I force myself away from thinking about any more of the details and before I know it everything is out, I’ve got a hot bowl of water and I’m wiping out the dust and washing down the cabinet - top to bottom and inside out. 

I dry it out and wipe the dust off the bottles and products that go back inside, turning labels and making sure everything is facing the same direction. It bugs me when two types of cleaner are in different shaped bottles. It’s the precise reason why I only buy one brand of everything, so everything matches and looks nice and tidy. 

Nothing I can do but use up the odd ones. 

The closet turns into the skirting boards and the skirting boards turn into the whole floor and the floor turns into the window and before I know it I’ve changed my water four times and the whole room is fucking immaculate from top to bottom. It’s only when I’m polishing the light fixture that I hear noise and footsteps from the kitchen’s direction. 

I wish there was more to do in here. Maybe I could clean the toilet next door. 

I poke my head out to check the whereabouts of my housemates-come-boyfriends and I can’t see them, so I take my water back out to the kitchen and keep my head down as I head to the sink to get a new bowl. 

They’re sat at the dining table around the corner and neither of them say anything to me. They are discussing food options over a takeout menu. Am I hungry? Shall I just hide again tonight? I didn’t really eat and it’s making me grouchy which is making me stress clean to avoid human interaction. I get grumpy when I’m hungry and I don’t want to take it out on either of my landlords. 

They’ve done so much for me: I’d regret being cold toward them. 

But isn’t that what I’m doing now by ignoring them? They’re showing me a kindness and a patience I’m not used to by not bothering me when I’m retreating into myself, but I know eventually I will have to re-surface. It’s not fair to keep them in the dark when they’ve been nothing but honest with me. 

I’m far from an honest person, though. They know nearly nothing about me. I always skim the details, even in my own mind. 

I avoid the things that hurt me, and it fucking sucks balls. It makes me unapproachable and cagey.

From experience I know it’s much better to just man up and deal with the fucking issue, but being in another country to avoid it just helps me to distract myself. Nothing has been dealt with by my running away. I’ll have to face it eventually. 

I don’t manage to take my fresh water bowl to the bathroom. It’s already clean and I know it. I feel bad for draining it away before using it, but I understand I’m just using it to avoid those two. I’d better at least say hello. I pour the water out and set the rag aside to dry, removing my apron and hanging it up back in the pantry before rounding the corner to the dining room. 

“Levi!” Eren says with a big smile. That big stupid grin that he reserves for when he’s missed me for a few days thanks to our shifts getting in the way of seeing one another. 

“Hey,” I say sheepishly, still feeling a little bad about leaving them in the lurch with near radio silence for three days. 

“Are you hungry?” Erwin says, pointing to the menu on the table. My eyes follow the gesture and it’s my favourite Vietnamese place they order now and then. It’s usually reserved as a treat, so I wonder if there’s an occasion I missed. I feel a fresh wave of guilt wash over me for closing them out. 

“Starving,” I say, sitting down beside Eren, the head of the table between them both being too intimidating a choice. I don’t want both of them staring at me. We briefly discuss what we want and I tell them I want my usual. It’s an amazing fish dish with noodles and prawn wraps. The thought alone of the chili sauce that it comes with is enough to get me salivating. 

Once Erwin calls up to order, Eren scoots his chair a little closer to mine, leaning an elbow on the table as he smiles at me. 

“Nice to have you back,” he says with an unusually playful glint in his eye. I narrow my own at him, wondering what it is he’s up to. 

“What you want?” 

“Me? Want something? Pshh,” he gasps, even covering his mouth dramatically. I feel the amusement trying to tug at me, coaxing me into smiling. I’m still feeling bad about the last few days following the news about Ma, so I’m not ready to give in just yet. Eren leans in and it’s obviously for a hug, so I do my best to return it. As soon as his arms are around me though and I can smell him up close and feel his warmth against my chest, I feel at home again. 

I’ve been an idiot to ever walk away, even if it was only for a short time. I missed this. Whatever this is. I hug him a little tighter as the walls start to loosen and I just let him hold me for a minute before we separate, Erwin now finished ordering and returning to the table. 

“I only had a light lunch today,” Erwin says. “I’m hungry.” 

“Well if there’s any left we can take it to work tomorrow,” Eren says, taking my hand and holding it. His thumb brushes over the heel of my palm and I wiggle my fingers apart slightly so we can interlock fingers. I find myself relaxing into my chair as Erwin tells us all about how his meeting schedule today is what interrupted his lunch hour. 

It’s nice just to hear their voices again, even if they’re just discussing little things about their days. The ups, the downs, the little annoying things and the signs from above they reckon they spot throughout the day. Leaves falling into patterns, people being in certain places at certain times and certain signs and billboards leaving you giant messages just when you need it. 

Kinda gets me thinking about home again. 

Thankfully I am interrupted by the arrival of food, and the pair spring into action to get the plates and the chopsticks. The takeout comes with them, but since Erwin’s travelled most of Asia he’s got an impressive collection of handmade chopsticks. I like the black ones. 

“For you,” Erwin says, handing me my container along with said black chopsticks. 

I crack it open and plate up, the smell flooding my senses and drowning out all of my misery. Neither of them ask me any questions, but I do occasionally join in on the conversation. It feels a little bit strange though given how far we’ve all come, how much we’ve gotten to know each other and how much they’re still yet to learn. 

I feel like I’m at an impasse. 

I can keep quiet and things continue as they have been, or I can tell them how I feel and actually possibly take this somewhere deeper. 

The latter scares the shit out of me because I don’t want to go there. The issue with visiting home opens a whole can of worms I’d hoped I’d never have to tell anyone. Even nowadays it’s not something I think about frequently. A few nuggets from my childhood will pop into my mind now and then, but nothing I can't suppress with cleaning or the occasional booty call. 

“I’m tired,” Erwin says once we’re all done eating. “Probably gonna get an early night. That okay with you two?” Eren and I nod. 

“You go take a bath babe, I’ll wash up.” 

“Thanks,” Erwin says as he gives Eren a quick peck. He rounds the island and does the same to me, smiling warmly and waving us off as he disappears upstairs. I handle the washing up and Eren handles the after-dinner tea. 

“Want to watch a movie or something?” he suggests. 

“Okay,” I say. “What you want to watch?” 

“There’s a new action flick up on the movie channel, how about it?” 

“Okay.” 

Eren gets himself comfortable on the sofa in his usual spot in the corner and I don’t join him until I’ve raided my bedroom wardrobe for the biggest, fluffiest blanket I could find. I could currently give zero flying fucks that the thing is white with pink hearts all over it, the fluff factor on this bad boy is seriously exceeding levels of over nine thousand. 

Eren laughs at me when I return downstairs wrapped head to toe in the fluffy monstrosity, but I don’t hear him complaining when I cuddle up beside him as the movie starts. I’d never thought I could derive comfort from another person like this before. I’m a bit tentative to get so close to begin with, but to hell with it. If I’ve had my dick up his ass I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna mind me getting cozy on the sofa. 

He doesn’t mind. 

If anything he tugs some of the blanket off me and we share it, his arm wrapped around my shoulder and holding me close. 

I’m fucking awful when it comes to movies, apparently. I get comfortable to the opening credits and I wake up to the ending credits. For fucks sake. 

“I will be awake for a whole movie one day. I promise.” He just chuckles softly at that, stretching his legs and turning the TV off, leaving us in the dimmed lighting. He gently strokes the hair out of my face and tucks it behind an ear, only for it to fall back out of place immediately. 

“Is everything alright?” He asks quietly. I’d been expecting the question and to be honest it feels horrible trying to keep everything in. 

“I don’t know,” I say just as softly, feeling relaxed and open from my nap. Hopefully I don’t close back off again. I don’t want to. “Ma’s got cancer. My brother wants me to go visit.” 

“When?” Eren asks, gently stroking my hair. It helps to soothe me and keep me relaxed. 

“I don't know yet. I haven't said I will go.” 

“Well if you want I'm sure one of us would be happy to come with you,” Eren says. I hum and nod. I hadn't thought of taking one of them with me. I sort of want both of them to come, I think with a small snort. 

“Can't you both come?” I murmur, to which Eren just holds me tighter. 

“I'm sure it can be arranged, just let us know when you’re thinking of going.” 

With the prospect of these two coming with me, suddenly the idea of visiting doesn't feel so daunting.

I guess it looks like we might be going to Russia.


	15. Chapter 15

I stare at the laptop screen with Farlan’s profile up on the page. He's online. Petra convinced me that going would be a good idea. I’m gonna do it. 

I hit call. 

“Hey Lee,” he says with a smile. I haven't video called in a while and I can see the pale blue walls behind him. He's in the living room on that damn ugly sofa that's been there for years. The video focuses and my own clicks on, the light at the top of the laptop going green as my own image appears at the bottom. 

“Hi Far,” I say, watching as Isabel scoots up beside him to squeeze into the camera view. She's just as energetic as ever, red hair all over the place while Farlan just rolls his eyes. 

“Big bro!” She says, obviously stealing the laptop from Farlan’s lap to his complaint. They haven't changed at all. 

“Are you behaving?” I ask her. She pouts. 

“Why do you assume I'm always up to no good?” Isabel gasps and leans into the screen. I get a perfect view of her forehead as she squeals. Thank fuck I have my headphones in. I'm at the desk on the far side of the living room and thus she can probably see Eren on the sofa behind me. 

“Is that the sexy boyfriend huh? Levi you never told me he was so good looking!” I cringe. It's weird having her talk about him like that when he's in the same room as me. Sure he can't hear but he does look over when I turn to look over my shoulder and wave. Isabel is waving on the screen and I decide now is better than never. I pull a headphone out. 

“Eren you want to meet my sister and brother?” 

He grins and nods and I get up and take the laptop over to the coffee table. Eren puts his phone down and waves, flashing them his usual big smile.

“They not speak English but I translate.” I tell him. Thankfully Eren knows some basics I taught him. Hello’s, how are you’s, the small talk. 

“This is Eren,” I tell them both. 

“Hello,” they both say in English, their H’s far harder than mine given I speak English far more frequently. 

“Oh Levi he's so handsome!” Isabel says. I roll my eyes. Eren looks at me, waiting for the translation. 

“She say you are handsome.” Eren grins at her and she winks. Farlan and I roll our eyes. “This Farlan and Isabel.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Eren attempts in Russian. He remembered how to say it fairly well. I'm impressed. 

“I want to tell you two I'm gonna come and visit but I don't know when yet.” I briefly tell Eren what I'm saying. “I’m bringing Eren and Erwin.”

“Who's Erwin?” Better rip the plaster off now. 

“He's my other boyfriend. Eren’s husband,” I tell them. I turn to Eren and smirk, switching back to English. “I don't tell them yet I have two boyfriend.” 

“You what?” I hear Farlan saying, confused. 

“Yeah we live in the same house. We sometimes fuck. Don't tell Ma.” I’ll let them think it over later but for now I'm calling for business. Eren feels a little awkward beside me but he's keeping his smile going.

“I tell them I going to Russia. I find out when,” I inform Eren. 

“When do you want me to come over?” 

“Oh, uh, what about a couple of months after Ma’s started treatment? She’ll probably be miserable and want a nice surprise,” Isabel suggests. 

“You haven't told her I might have been coming?” 

Eren asks if I want a cup of tea and I nod. He gets up to go and fix a pot. 

“Not yet, we knew you might not want to come so we kept it between just us.” 

“Does Kenny know?” 

“No.”

“Don't tell him either.” 

“Yeah yeah, we know,” Farlan says. “He's kinda fallen off the radar anyway so we don't expect him to show up.” 

“He's a bigger dick than I thought if he doesn't. His sister has cancer for fuck’s sake,” I mutter. Farlan just hums in agreement with me. 

“We haven't seen him in months and the last time he was here was only for a couple of hours. We’re not holding out on his re-appearance being anything consistent,” Farlan explains. Isabel just nods along. I can hear the kettle boiling from the kitchen. 

“I wanna know more about these boyfriends of yours,” Isabel cuts in. Farlan doesn't say anything but I can tell he's interested too. 

“They’re married but it's like an open relationship. They both see other people and it just happens to be me.” 

“Oh, so it's like a three-way dating thing?” 

“Sort of. It doesn't mean threesomes by the way ‘cause I know that's what you’re thinking Izzy.” She laughs and I rub my neck, glad that they seem okay with it. 

“If Ma wants to know just say they’re both close friends. We can always tell her the details later on, you know,” I say, knowing they understand we won't have to tell her if she dies. I don't want to give her any unnecessary stress. 

“They don't speak Russian anyway, right?” Isabel asks. I nod. 

“So they won't be much use meeting her for long anyway,” Farlan surmises, to which Isabel and I both agree. 

“And whatever you do keep it to yourselves. I don't want anyone knowing my business,” I warn them. “Even if I'm in another country.” 

They both nod, I know I can trust them to keep quiet. If they ever refer to any of my personal circumstances to other people it's always as ‘someone’ they ‘know’. We don't drop names on each other. It's always been that way. We keep our business to ourselves and we trust each other to keep it that way. We had to really team up to make it through childhood together so it's a habit that stuck. 

Eren returns with the tea. 

“We think maybe we go in a couple of months,” I inform him as he hands me my clear glass cup. 

“So what, May, June? What's the weather like there that time of year?” 

I shrug. “Is okay. Not so cold any more.” 

“Levi, Levi!” I hear Isabel say. Eren looks over too. 

“When do we meet Erwin?” 

“She want to meet Erwin,” I tell Eren. 

“When he gets home from work I guess, tonight if you’re still up at around ten?” 

“We probably will be, it's a date!” She announces with a huge grin and a double thumbs up. I tell them I'm going and we bid our farewells. Eren waves and says his best Russian ‘goodbye’. It's quite formal sounding but it does the trick in making us all smile. 

I close the laptop and tend to my tea. It's good. 

“Thanks,” I tell Eren, gesturing to the tea by lifting it slightly. It's just how I like it. 

“They seem nice.” I smile at that. 

“They are. We have tough time growing up so it was good to have allies.” 

“Yeah, you kinda said briefly,” he says. He’s never been told the exact details so he's still a bit clueless. 

“My uncle and mother, they run illegal house for sex, you know?” 

“Like a brothel?” 

“Sort of, is more uh, people selling, some for sex.” 

Eren’s face turns blank as he takes the information in. He slowly nods once he seems to get it. 

“They bring girls from all over Europe, more my uncle than mum, but she blackmail into help, you know? My uncle say she have debt to repay, so she go along because he work with gang.” 

“Ah, that sucks,” he says glumly. 

“Yeah, I grow up there but they not make me work with them. We adopt Farlan and Isabel and we all safe but it was still in house, you know?” 

I'm surprised by how easy it is to talk about now I've committed to going. I’ll have to tell Erwin at some stage but it feels more comfortable telling them one at a time. Eren sits quietly and takes in everything I give him. 

“Uncle sell girls you know? He buy them from all over the world so he have ‘exotic livestock’.” 

“Gosh, I knew this sort of thing happens but I’ve never met anyone with any experience of it,” Eren says, looking a little shocked. 

“Ha, I help a few girl escape when I was little but I only get beat for it.” 

“Damn,” Eren breathes out. I sip my tea. 

“Yeah.” We fall silent and sip our tea for a little while. “So I ask work to see if we go in June?” I suggest after a moment. Eren just smiles and nods. “We get a hotel, don’t worry,” I tack onto the end with a smirk. He grins and nods, agreeing wholeheartedly. I’d never invite them to stay in that house. Ever. Sure, it’s masqueraded well as a quaint city bed and breakfast, but I know what really goes on behind closed doors. 

Hopefully I won’t have to take either of my boyfriends to that house if I can help it. I’ll come back to the hotel and chat about it there. The language barrier will only make it more time consuming anyway. 

“Is not all bad there,” I say. “I will show you Saint Petersburg!” Finally something worth being excited about regarding this trip. It will be nice in June, so that’s an added bonus. “It is a sort of festival month, I take you to see canals and fireworks, yes?” 

“Oh, that sounds really good actually. I’ve never been to Russia and I don’t think Erwin has either.” 

Great, this is actually starting to look like something worth looking forward to. “We can take Farlan and Isabel too, you can meet in person.” 

“I’d love that,” Eren says with a smile. 

“I need to take tea though. The stuff at home does not compare,” I add with a wink and a smirk. Eren just smiles and finishes off his mug. 

“What are you doing for the rest of the day?” he asks me. I purse my lips as I think it over. I had one more client but they said they’d come back to me with a time. I check my phone quickly to find they have cancelled on me, asking if I can make tomorrow instead. I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face as I tap out a quick response to confirm. 

It’s something hungry and devious. Eren knows the look on my face and grins, setting his mug down on the table at the same time that I rest my cup down. I press closer and he settles back against the sofa as I kiss him lightly. His hand ends up in my hair and I’m leaning at a funny angle having to bend around him so I just fuck it and pull a leg over, straddling him and sitting close in his lap. 

“I free all afternoon,” I purr, rolling my R’s deliberately. My hands rest on his shoulders and my fingers splay out over his chest as they trail down, eventually dipping down Eren’s sides and toward his joggers waistband. The closer my hand gets to his trousers the tighter he holds my hair and pulls me in for a rough kiss. 

We slump down into the sofa until we’re lying up against one another, lips a mess of shared spit and bodies flush against each other. Our legs tangle together and I can’t help the insistent rock of my hips into Eren’s as he grinds himself against me. I’ve been stressing out so much this past week that I had no idea how much I missed any form of touch. Especially when Eren’s hand slips beneath my trousers and underwear, gripping my ass nicely and pulling me against himself hard. 

I gasp, surprised, breaking the kiss. Eren just laughs breathily and I wrap my arm around his back, pushing the back of his shirt up so I can get my hands on those muscles. He’s not like Erwin at all, despite being a personal trainer working in a gym. He’s lean and sinewy like a runner whereas Erwin is broader and more muscular. For all Eren complains about wanting to bulk out a little more, I love him the way he is. 

Fuck. Did I just think that? As much as it concerns me, it also really fucking turns me on.

I have no time to consider it further as his mouth is back on mine. It’s a mess of tongues and teeth and there’s zero finesse involved. I break apart long enough to pant out ‘I take shit and shower earlier’ and Eren fucking _growls_ , hand on my ass dipping beneath the cheeks to finger me. Good sweet lord I’m in heaven right now. 

Heaven gets better when a finger presses inside slowly but firmly, the sensation going straight to my cock. Unfortunately neither of us have any condoms or lube handy, so we’ll have to move eventually. 

We don’t end up moving. We just end up fucking on the sofa using spit for lube and I end up with an uncomfortable crick in my neck from where Eren thrusted me into the corner of the damn thing. We fall asleep on the sofa and I’m pretty sure my bare arse is hanging out of the blanket when Erwin gets home from work. I’m squashed up against Eren’s side and he’s practically dead to the world, drooling to boot. 

Isabel’s voice rings through my mind. ‘Sexy’ huh? You don’t know the half of it, sis. 

Erwin smirks as he hangs his coat up and I shuffle to get myself covered by my big fluffy blanket that's still downstairs from the other night. Eren groans as my movement disturbs his nap. 

“Hey you two, did you have a good afternoon?” He asks as he sits down on the armchair, unfastening his cufflinks and setting them onto the coffee table. In any other situation I would probably have to fear for my life: the husband getting home and finding us cuddling in a less than appropriate way. Eren’s pants are strewn across the coffee table and his underwear are up by my head on the sofa. One of my legs is sticking out of the blanket and my pants are still attached to my ankle. 

It's quite funny when I think about it. 

“Your husband do horrible things to me,” I tell him with a smirk. Eren just cuddles up to me tighter and grumbles softly. 

“As do you to us, Levi,” Erwin says cryptically. I squint at him slightly, slowly blinking the sleep from my eyes. 

“How you mean?” 

Erwin shrugs and smiles, getting up to head upstairs to get changed. I elbow Eren. 

“Oi, get up. We didn't cook anything,” I tell him. Erwin will probably be hungry. He's worse than me when he's hungry, only he doesn't turn passive but rather completely cruel. The last time we had sex on an empty stomach he tied me to the bed and went to go and make himself a sandwich. I'm still traumatised by the crumbs. 

“I pulled a curry out of the freezer this morning, it's fine.” Thank fuck, ‘cause I don't feel like cooking. “Erwin!” Eren calls right beside my ear, earning him a gentle elbow to the ribs at the volume. He curls over on me and wraps himself around me like a damn leech. 

“Erwin!” 

“What?” He calls down. I hear footsteps soon after. Eren plasters a bunch of stupid wet kisses to my cheek and I try and squirm away from him. 

“Errrrrrwiiin!!” He whines until said Erwin is stood above the sofa, arms folded across his chest and now wearing pajama bottoms and a comfortable sweater. “You wanna meet Levi’s brother and sister?” 

“What, in person?” He asks, taking a seat again as Eren starts rocking his hips against my leg like a fucking dog in heat. 

“You cannot ask later, or do this later?” I snap at Eren without any proper venom in my tone. “We meet them tomorrow, I'm in the mood again.”

“It has been a couple of weeks.” 

“Nile _is_ a cockblock, babe,” Eren adds to my amusement. 

“Well what do you both fancy tonight?” Erwin asks. He usually checks if we don't have anything specifically pre-planned. 

“Both?” I tell him from my place wedged up against Eren’s bare chest under the blanket. 

Erwin hums in thought. “Both is good.”


	16. Chapter 16

“You not touch until you eat,” I tell Erwin firmly from my half naked place on the sofa, curled up against Eren and the pair of us look damn delicious if I do say so myself. Erwin narrows his eyes and looks down over the pair of us dangerously. The smile that splits his face is too cheery to ever be considered innocent. 

You couldn’t pay me to let Erwin upstairs without eating first. Besides, it’s helpful that Eren already pulled something out of the freezer to just microwave. 

“I’m not eating alone tonight,” he tells us both with a firm tone to his voice. It’s an invitation. 

“Are you hungry?” Eren whispers to me, looking up at Erwin mischievously. I smirk, catching onto his idea as a hand of his trails across my stomach and down to my groin. 

“Starving,” I murmur, eyes set on Erwin. Eren lazily strokes at my soft cock and it starts perking up a little until Erwin leaves the room and Eren pushes himself up to follow him. I stare at him, having expected him to at least continue a little longer before getting up and leaving. 

“We’ll have our dinner on the table, hm?” Eren asks, making me smirk. This ought to be fun since out of the three of us Eren is definitely the most creative. I get myself up off the sofa and Eren pulls me up. We bother only with underwear and leave all the other clothes we’d been wearing (or half wearing) on the sofa. 

Eren’s been on the fucking tanning beds again and he’s wearing those grotesquely tight orange boxer briefs. I’m wearing significantly less sexy black boxer shorts. Eren takes my hand and leads me around the staircase and through the doorway into the kitchen. I feel the underfloor heating beneath the tiles and I eye Erwin currently operating the microwave. 

“Where you are sitting?” I ask him. I don’t spot anything set at either the table or the island. I want to make sure Eren and I are right in his way. 

“Probably the table, would you mind setting it?” I hum and nod at the back of his head.

“Oui Monsieur,” I tell him, noticing the way he bristles at the language but doesn’t move from the microwave. Eren’s gone upstairs for something and I can hear him stomping down like a fucking stampede of rhinos. I lean myself against the edge of the table after laying a place mat down to the side. He’s got no choice but to sit right where he can see us. 

“Hey,” Eren says, holding a bottle of lube that he sets down on the table beside me before leaning into my personal space and kissing me. I don’t get a chance to reply aside from moaning into his mouth. It’s all about the tongues and the obscene noises with this one. The sloppier the better with Eren. His youthful enthusiasm despite the embarrassing noises is what I find so stupidly sexy and endearing. 

He steps closer, pressing a thigh between my legs, brushing up against my clothed cock and rubbing with his leg. I groan against him softly as if to make a point to Erwin and we both grin against each other’s mouths. 

“Keep doing that,” Eren whispers and I nod with a childish smirk. We’re getting very good at teaming up on Erwin. He seems to enjoy the effort we put in. 

I let out a low moan when Eren slips his hands down the back of my boxers and pulls our groins flush, hardening cocks pressing into one another through the fabric. It creates such lovely friction. I can't help but crave more. We hear the ding of the microwave suggesting Erwin’s curry is done. I hear him pulling the plastic off the tray. He’s not even bothering with a plate today. Good. 

Eren kisses all down my neck and down my chest and I lean back against the table as his hands toy with my nipples while his mouth does wonderful things down below. Just in time for Erwin to sit down to enjoy his meal, Eren is enjoying a meal of his own: me. 

As much as I want to focus on putting on a sultry show for Erwin, Eren’s lips around the bulge in my boxers is doing horrible things to my concentration. He’s even fucking sitting at a chair at the table with my crotch right where his plate would usually go. 

“Fuck this is so wrong,” I tell him in Russian. “So wrong but so fucking right,” I moan out the last part as Eren frees my cock and starts licking up the side of it. Eren’s blowjobs are out of this world. If I could love someone for a superficial reason alone: Eren’s blowjobs and pretty eyes would be the two winning top spots at the show. Good lord. 

“I’m not sure where you get your table manners from Levi,” Eren says with a smirk, tapping my thigh to get my attention. I briefly look to my side and Erwin is seemingly enjoying the show, casually piling up his curry and rice onto his naan bread as he watches us do whatever Eren decides. I look up at Eren. 

He turns me over, my groin wedged up against the edge of the table, hip bones thankfully preventing the edge from digging into my dick that is now well tenting my boxers and straining proudly, damp patch and all. Eren gently kisses my back and tugs down my underwear, hands casually kneading my arse cheeks. I let out a little whimper since I’m getting impatient, the arousal flushing my face making me light headed and woozy. Good woozy, though. 

Eren parts my arse cheeks and I vaguely hear him saying ‘bon appetit!’ before I feel his tongue at my arsehole. This is definitely a new experience. Eating out at home. Literally. I smirk at my little inner joke and can’t help but shiver at the delicate and warm ministrations Eren is performing behind me. Erwin is just getting on with his dinner like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. 

Once I’m a complete mess and Eren seems out of breath enough to simply finger me at the dinner table, I hear him talking to Erwin. 

“So how was your day honey?” he says. I groan, only to earn his two fingers pressing in and down toward my prostate, making me jolt with pleasure and grunt. 

“It was quite alright, love. I wasn’t expecting a show during dinner, though. I must say, this has definitely brightened up the end of my day,” Erwin entertains Eren’s question before looking at me when I groan quietly, Eren’s attention not enough yet so pleasurable at the same fucking time. It’s so unfair how he has the stupid ability to bring me right up to the edge and then leave me hanging high and dry. 

“Levi, pass the pepper would you?” 

I glare at him incredulously. It’s bad enough that I’m getting finger fucked to the smell of a fucking curry. I honestly feel bad for the entire collective nation of India. Is this what the house smells like when they have sex? Coriander isn’t a sexy smell. Imagine that, making babies and cumming to the taste of cumin and grinding spices instead of grinding against laps. I’m hilarious. 

I pass Erwin the fucking pepper. 

“I’m gonna- hggn!” I get cut off as Eren goes straight for my prostate again with those long fucking fingers of his. 

Fucking Eren. 

“I was hoping you might top tonight Levi,” Erwin says as he mops up his tray with his leftover bread. Now he has my attention… for all of three seconds before Eren’s mouth is back on me. 

“Hah, fuck Eren, get on with it!” I pant against the table, gripping onto a placemat that was close by. 

“I might just take you up against the table like this.” I wiggle my hips back against him in response, only for Eren to give my half bare arse cheek a good slap. Erwin’s face is a picture. I've never seen him look quite so glazed before. He knows well enough to play along though, deliberately licking his lips or his fingers whenever we make eye contact. 

“Are you going to have dessert, Erwin? There's a few apples that need eating,” Eren informs him, slowing on the thrusts and crooking his fingers occasionally. Erwin hums and gets up, disappearing into the kitchen with his empty dish and cutlery. I get another slap for good measure and I can feel my cock leaking in my boxers. 

The table is hard and a little uncomfortable against my chest but my brain forgets all about that when I feel a shift behind me and Eren is lining himself up behind me, thrusting in slowly. I'm still loose from earlier but he still comments about tight it is. The stretch feels incredible. It's like ten times the feeling of having a great shit. 

Eren starts out with a slow pace and I barely register when Erwin sits down, peeling an apple with a knife. All I can do is grunt as the pleasure clouds my mind and makes me compliant. Honestly with either of these two I'd be more than happy to roll over and take whatever they wanted to throw at me. I'm pretty sure Erwin has some weird kinks he hasn't told me about yet. 

I'll have to fuck ‘em out of him. 

Returning to the part where I'm getting fucked at the dinner table, the pair of them chat lightly between themselves as if I wasn't even here. It turns me on even more. Eren's hands grip gently at my hips and stroke up my back lovingly as he thrusts into me, discussing plans for the weekend with his husband. 

“Isn't that right, Levi?” Eh? They're talking about me? I grunt against the table as Eren speeds his thrusts up. 

“He looks like he's enjoying himself,” Erwin says, smirking. I’ve just been lying here with my eyes shut letting Eren do whatever he fancies. Thankfully he’s kicking it up a notch now, slamming into me with enough force to jostle the table. I’m damn close to coming and thank the Lord that my cock is still stuck in my boxers. Eren’s thrusts increase in both speed and force and it doesn’t take long before I’m moaning into the place mat in front of me and Eren is grunting out his own orgasm. 

I can feel the lube and Eren’s damn come trickling down my thigh when he pulls out and I shudder uncomfortably. Fucking gross.

I should get Erwin to lick it clean. 

Maybe another day. 

I feel a tap on my arse as Eren pushes his hair back out of his face, flicking his eyes to the side with a nod of his head. It’s time to go upstairs. My vision is still a bit blurry and my mind is all muddled with the orgasm still fading, but I manage to push myself up anyway, waddling upstairs to the bathroom to clean myself up. 

When I get back to the bedroom, Erwin has wasted not a single damn moment and is three fingers deep in his own ass, stretching himself out for Eren to see. I stand beside Eren and fold my arms. We both observe. 

“He does good, doesn’t he?” he comments. It’s true. For all his maturity and patience, Erwin is a nasty motherfucker when he wants to be. 

“He does,” I smirk, taking a moment to admire the view while Eren moves to the head of the bed to sit in front of Erwin who moves straight to Eren’s thighs, kissing the bare skin there as he fingers himself open before me. 

Neither of us waste any time and I move over to the nightstand to get myself a condom. It's a personal preference of mine, preferring to remain as clean as possible. It took a lot of convincing for me to let either of them near me without a condom. I still prefer to wear one where possible. 

“How you want to do?” I ask them both. Erwin seems pleased with his attempts at stretching himself open and has turned his focus onto mouthing Eren’s cock through his orange boxer briefs. 

“How about you take Erwin as he sucks me off?” Eren suggests without a hint of embarrassment. I shrug and nod along, pushing my boxers down and wrapping myself. I move to kneel behind Erwin and he props his arms to the sides of Eren’s thighs. He's done this before, I think to myself. 

I'm not sure how pleased with that thought I am. I’ve been feeling strangely protective of these two lately. I want them for myself, even if this isn't how this relationship works. If they have other people they want to see as well, they can. They just happen to be off the market currently, too occupied with fucking the cleaner at the dinner table. 

A little selfish bubble of pride courses through me as I stroke Erwin’s bare hips and squeeze a cheek. His backside is wet with the lube he was using and his entrance is pink from the stimulation. I can't wait to get myself in there. 

I haven't had this much sex in years. 

Even when I would hook up with people I’d never do it this frequently. I find I'm in a better mood more often than I used to be, despite the shit going on in my life. These two make it easier. 

And more pleasurable. 

I slip a couple of fingers in to test how well Erwin prepared himself and I'm satisfied with how it feels. I rub along the insides feeling the heat and the way the muscles contract slightly with the intrusion. He soon relaxes though, face pressed into Eren’s crotch while Eren strokes his hair gently. 

I can hear him moan at the exact moment my fingertips brush his prostate. It's a wonderful sound. I make him do it again. Twice. 

“Is that good babe?” Eren asks Erwin, who just moans pathetically. My cock is well and truly as hard as it's gonna get by now, having spent the last ten minutes fingering him. 

“You ready now, yes?” I ask Erwin. He turns to look over his shoulder and his cheeks are flushed, lips pink and glistening with the spit from where he’s been drooling all over Eren’s lap. It’s damn sexy. 

“If you wouldn’t mind,” he smiles before returning to stroking Eren’s cock. I can hear him slurping at it and Eren’s got his hand on Erwin’s head, stroking his hair and neck. That’s one part of Erwin I love touching - his undercut. I’ve got one myself, sure, but there’s something serene and intimate in running your hands through someone else’s hair. 

I turn my attention back to Erwin’s backside and knead his arse cheeks a little before lining myself up and starting to gently push my way in, inch by inch. It’s a bit of revenge for last time Erwin was on top with me, teasing me endlessly until I was sure I’d burst before he’d even started. Erwin’s grunts and groans of frustrated pleasure are yet another lovely sound to my ears. 

Despite all of the preparation, Erwin probably bottoms the least out of all three of us, so he still feels tight. The heat sends shivers up my body, pooling at the base of my neck as my brain begins to cloud with bliss. He’s hot and tight and so willing and the sounds he makes around Eren’s cock are so lewd that it has me thrumming with excitement. I just want to go as fast as I can and finish, feeling that wonderful release, but I understand the need for patience in a group activity like such. 

I take my time for now, thrusting in and out of him carefully and slowly until I feel he loosens up and relaxes even more. As soon as I pick up a moderate pace, Erwin’s forgotten all about Eren’s cock, face pressed into his thigh and panting. 

“Feel good, babe?” Eren asks. Erwin just grunts. “Levi, maybe you could tell him how much of a good boy he’s being for us?” He winks at me and I understand the request immediately. 

“Such a good boy,” I tell him in French this time. It’s always nice to surprise him, given I know how much he likes listening to other languages telling him he's filthy, but praising him for once makes for a wonderful reaction. He practically quivers beneath me and moans out loud, taking Eren back into his mouth with renewed gusto. 

Eren can’t contain the low hum of satisfaction that bubbles up and I take this chance to thrust a little harder. “Like that, huh? You’re so damn tight Erwin,” I tell him, keeping up the French. 

“I have no idea what you’re saying but don’t stop,” Erwin mutters and I barely catch it. 

“As you wish,” I tell him, continuing. “I love how hot your insides are. It’s like it’s sucking me in,” I say with a smirk. Eren grins a little, looking a bit out of breath as he clearly nears his own climax and Erwin just sinks his whole mouth down onto Eren’s cock, devouring it whole to match my speed which continues to increase. 

I can feel myself getting more and more wound up, more aroused and drawing very close to release. I reach around to take hold of Erwin’s cock - it’s hard and oozing generously and he jolts at the movement, clearly not expecting it. A few strokes and a few well timed hard thrusts at just the right angle and Erwin is coming all over my hand, moaning into Eren’s crotch with a dick in his mouth. 

“Fucking fabulous,” I tell him as I grip his hips, my own orgasm hitting me like a brick to the face. It’s fast hitting and it’s intense and I can’t move for a few moments, cock still wedged into Erwin’s ass comfortably as I muster the energy to pull out. There are little red marks on Erwin’s hips from where I’d gripped hold of him and I can’t feel too guilty because of how fucked out and sated he looks as he rolls over. 

Eren finishes himself off into a tissue and groans happily alongside Erwin on the bed and I sit back to regain myself, my whole body feeling limp and hot and so good. 

Erwin grunts against the pillow and rolls onto his back finally, chest heaving with his heavy breathing and spent cock lying against his thigh. 

The rest of the evening is spent bathing, drinking tea and cuddling. We sleep together followed by another cheeky round first thing in the morning. 

Today’s plan? Booking flights.


	17. Chapter 17

So the tickets for Russia have been booked and everything with Eren and Erwin is going well. They have both had their annual leave approved so they can both come with me in the summer. Nile is going to school near London in September, so we’re anticipating he’s going to be around a lot more often. 

I can’t wait. (Sense the sarcasm?) 

Anyway, my new job is going surprisingly well and I’ve passed my probation period with flying colours, filling up the rest of my days with residential clients in my local neighborhood. A lot of them are within walking distance which, with a well packed trolley, means I can save on petrol and use the car less. With all the extra walking I’m also far more adept at climbing stairs than I think I’ve ever been before. 

It’s amazing what a little bit of walking can do to your physique. 

It also means I have better hold on either of my lovers using my thighs. Neither of them complain. 

Anyway, in the peaceful interval between Nile coming to stay, I have one thing to look forward to and that involves the packing I’m sorting out right now. 

For all three of us.

Erwin and Eren are both at work, so packing has been left to the only one home the day before we fucking fly out. I hope they don’t do luggage scans at the airport because the amount of sex toys going in Erwin’s check-in luggage is hilarious. That aside, I’m fairly methodical and as detailed as I am, there are still a few extra pieces they both want to add when they get home as they survey the progress I made throughout the day. 

“Why you don’t pack before? You have all weekend,” I scold them both, hands on my hips. Eren tries his usual sauntering up to me playfully and wrapping his arms around my waist, trying to get me to bend to the pressure of his fucking adorableness. 

“No,” I tell him. He pouts, nuzzling against my neck. I just stand there firmly. I don’t want to kick him off me but at the same time he’s being irresponsible by leaving everything to the last minute. 

“I not go on holiday with you again.” 

“We’ll pack in advance next time Levi, thank you for all of your help,” Erwin says smoothly, planting a kiss on my cheek as I glare at him. It doesn’t last long. Eren gasps and gawks at Erwin, muttering something about him being my favourite and Erwin just goading and teasing Eren. It’s adorable how they both love being in my company. I love how comfortable we’ve all grown together. 

The longer we end up staying in our relationship, the more I trust them and vice versa. It’s a great feeling, being comfortable with a partner. With each day I feel like I can tell them more and more. Erwin met my siblings over video chat when we were organising our ticket dates and they got along well too, which was good. 

It’s looking like it’s going to be a good trip. 

I’ve got a few places I want to take them, namely a few of my childhood haunts and a bunch of tourist attractions and historical sites and buildings I know Erwin will enjoy. Eren is surprisingly interested in history and heritage of cities too. He’s taken me to most of London’s galleries and museums. I probably know more about London’s history now than I do St Petersburg. 

Alright well that’s probably a lie. I’m sure there’s more to learn about their home country. It’ll take time to learn it all if that’s what they want to teach me. If it’s Eren or Erwin I’ll take any information they give me and commit it to memory as best I can.

Erwin drives us to the airport and he’s pre-ordered someone to park the car for us for the ten days we’re going for. The flight takes just over three hours which takes us into a three-hour time difference, meaning my two boys end up going to bed a couple hours earlier than usual. We’re staying in a hotel by the Moyka river in the center of the city, the streets lined with green trees and tourists while the barges float by idyllically. 

It’s strange to see the city that was home to so much turmoil in another light, through the eyes of Eren and Erwin who were both fascinated by everything. The way they ask for translations and little pieces of history and ‘what’s that’, ‘what’s those?’, ‘what does that mean’ and ‘what did they just say?’ successfully distracts me from the main reason I’m here. We spend the first three days sightseeing and that’s when Erwin asks. 

“When are you going to see your family?” 

“I don’t really want to, but I know I have to.” 

“It is sort of why we’re here,” Eren says with a shrug. I know he’s right. I’ve been enjoying myself so much I’ve not wanted to think about it. 

“Yes, I know,” I say, a little more clipped and abrupt than I intended. I regret the way it comes out as it leaves my mouth. “Sorry. I call today and see what is they doing.” 

I fish my phone out and call Isabel, moving out onto the balcony of our hotel room and waiting for her to pick up, watching the people in the streets below. 

“Levi, how are you?” she says. 

“Yeah I’m good, I’m here.” 

“What? You’re in Russia?” 

“Yeah, we got here a few days ago and I wanted to get the sightseeing done first. English tourists attached to me, remember?” It feels good to speak my native tongue. I don’t feel like an idiot and I can actually speak at a normal human being’s conversational pace. I can tell Erwin and Eren enjoy listening to me talking despite not understanding. It must be something to do with the confidence as well, since I have absolutely no issues expressing myself in Russian. 

“Oh yeah, when are you coming over? Are you bringing the boyfriends?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t think I need to bring them. Ma doesn’t speak English so what use is it?” 

“You can still introduce them yourself. We can get lunch. You can translate for one lunch right? You don’t have to tell her you’re banging both of them but at least tell her part of the truth?” 

“Yeah I can do that,” I say, glancing over my shoulder. I didn’t know what to do with them anyway. “I felt kinda bad leaving them alone in a city they don’t know, you know?” 

Isabel laughs. “I get it, bro.” 

“What’s Ma up to tonight?” I ask.

“Nothing as far as I know- Ma! Ma! What are you- Ma!” she yells into my ear, making me wince away from the earpiece. “Ma we’re having dinner tonight with Levi!” 

“What do you mean Levi?” I hear Ma’s voice in the background. 

“Levi is in town for the week, let’s go meet him!” I hear a rustle and evidently Ma gets a hold of Isabel’s phone. 

“Levi? Is that you?” 

“Hi Ma.” 

“You’re in St Petersburg?” 

“Yeah, I’m staying with a couple of English friends who wanted to see the city. We’re in town in the hotel by the river.” 

“That’s a bit of a fancy place, so you’re earning big bucks in England now, too much to give your own mother a phone call?” 

I cringe. 

“No, I’ve been-” 

“Busy?” she scoffs and I don’t blame her. “You’re terrible at avoiding me, young man. Don’t think for one minute moving country is enough to keep me away from you. You’re still my boy,” she tells me. As if I was expecting cancer to make her any quieter. Yeah right. I rub my neck and grin a little over my shoulder. No doubt my boyfriends can hear her through my phone she’s that loud. 

“How about dinner tonight?” I ask her, trying to avoid any further telling off. 

“Yes, I’ll be there. Get Farlan to choose a place. You have awful taste.” 

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say Ma. By the way I’m bringing a couple of friends.” 

“Are these more escorts of yours?” she asks with good reason. I may have dragged a few prostitutes to dinner a few times just to get her off my back about not getting married. 

“I told you I’m not into beaver bashing and-” I pause for a moment. I didn’t exactly want to tell her, but she’s too damn fast for me. 

“You’re sleeping with both of them, aren’t you?” 

“Fuck.” 

I can literally hear her rolling her eyes. “These two are different though, we’ve been seeing each other for like six months now.” 

She’s quiet for a moment. Only a moment, which is a record for her. 

“That’s a long time for you.” 

“I know, right,” I mumble, turning back away from the pair chatting lightly over their laptop and finding more places to visit while they’re in Russia. 

“So there’s two of them?” her tone has softened just a little, I can hear Isabel in the background squealing at something. Never a dull moment in my family. 

“Yeah they’re married but it’s an open relationship.” 

“So it’s a man and a woman?” 

“Both men.” 

“Ah, I see.” 

Fuck, there’s that tension again. She’s always wanted me to be the normal child who grows up, gets a job, gets married and has babies. That’s not going to happen since I wouldn’t know my way around a vagina even if given extensive training. If it comes to kids I can always adopt. 

“So tonight, yes?” she asks, to which I hum in agreement. 

“See you tonight.” 

We hang up and I inform Eren and Erwin of what just happened. Eren looks quite excited to meet my mother whereas Erwin is a little more reserved. 

“It’s a delicate topic, I understand,” he tries, getting cut off by Eren’s enthusiasm. 

“We’ll make her love us, I’m sure!” 

“Eh, I sure you right. I less confident about it though. I want her to like you.” 

“I’m sure she will,” Erwin assures me. 

“Yeah, you’re talking to Mister smooth operator here, remember?” Eren so kindly reminds me about Erwin’s silver tongue and suddenly I feel a little less concerned. 

“She is not speaking English though,” I remind him with an unimpressed look upon my face. It’s all fine and well to translate but when he’s trying to be smooth it’s gonna be tricky for it all to come through the most awkward person there: me. 

“You’ll be fine,” Erwin says with that charming ass smile of his. I actually believe him though. He’s never steered me wrong before, even when I was in pretty shit circumstances, so I trust him completely. I trust Eren just as much, regardless of how much he’s supported me or not. It’s a choice at the end of the day and I’m finding mutual trust seems to work in building a relationship like ours. 

I imagine if things don’t work out with these two, I can always apply the same technique to another relationship and see it work also. It’s a two way street and suddenly the prospect of holding onto these two forever doesn’t seem so necessary. Yes, I want to stay with them for as long as possible but I don’t fear either of them wanting to call it off. If that day comes, or if I decide I want a change, I’m confident I’ll be okay with it. They’ll be fine too, I know. 

“Okay. Farlan will call me later. What you want do until tonight?” 

They look at each other, a glance which can only mean terrible, pleasurable things. 

“No.” 

“Aw babe, c’mon!” Eren whines, scooting away from Erwin on the sofa and cuddling up against me. We’ve been here before. This time I let myself crumble to his pleas, though. He’s truly pathetic and I can’t help but give him what he wants. Even if it means that’s me. 

“Fine. One round.” 

“Two,” Eren says with that cheeky little shit-eating grin he reserves for when he’s trying to be persuasive. He’s got his own ways of charming people - very different to Erwin’s style but no less effective. In fact I think Eren’s charms are harder to resist since he’s so up-front with his feelings. Erwin is so well constructed it’s easier to decline. 

“One and a half,” Eren barters. I raise an eyebrow. 

“How you do one and half round?” 

“Well we have to save some fun for later, right?” 

“How much sex you wanting to have just in one day?” I ask him, feigning disbelief. Erwin just chuckles behind us. I look to him for help but he just shrugs and smiles at me. 

“By all means, go straight ahead. I have some emails to go over,” he says. 

“Don’t give him reason!” I retort to Erwin who is enabling his snotty brat of a husband. Eren just smirks and kisses my neck, dragging me off to the bedroom. 

When we return two rounds later, Eren having gotten his way, we’ve showered and returned clean. Erwin is still working on his laptop and tapping away at his emails, sealing deals and making money. He’s a natural at it. 

“Hey babe, shower’s free,” Eren tells him and he nods, quickly finishing up his emails as Eren and I get dressed, ready for our dinner. Farlan calls me and confirms the place and the time and he deliberately chose somewhere closer to us than them so that I wouldn’t have to visit the house just yet. I thank him for his restaurant choice and we wait for Erwin to finish up getting ready before heading out. 

However this dinner goes, it ought to be interesting.


	18. Chapter 18

I’ve never done so much talking in one conversation in my entire life. 

Imagine everything you’ve learnt about my life so far and apply it to a single conversation with Farlan, Isabel and my mother Kuchel meeting my two boyfriends. All of the above translated into two languages between two and two who don’t understand each other. 

For the most part my mother is pleasant and only asks curious questions about their lifestyles and both are keen to answer and ask similar questions of their own. Some of Erwin’s questions feel a bit clipped and careful when he asks since he probably knows they’re going to go through me and I have to repeat everything. 

Thankfully it all seems to go well and the mass exchange of questions and answers from everyone is all I focus on for about three hours. It’s nice to see Ma and my siblings laughing together though. Sometimes some of the things I translate from Russian I’ll paraphrase and make Eren and Erwin laugh and other times I’ll translate something from English which wasn’t delivered as a joke but came across as funny with how I said it in Russian. 

It isn’t by any means perfect but at least I understand both ends of the conversation. It is quite fun in that regard. Erwin and Eren have to mind their own business while I catch up with Ma regarding her treatment. She had an operation to remove the lump. She’ll be having chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy if the first round of treatment goes well and according to plan. Apparently she caught it early despite it being quite a big lump already. 

I will inform them later how she’s doing. She seems okay for now though. We’ll have to see how everything goes I guess. 

“So what are you guys doing tomorrow?” Farlan asks me, looking at all three of us. 

“What we are doing tomorrow?” Eren shrugs. 

“We don't know yet,” I volley back to Farlan. 

“Going to see the fireworks on the river?” Isabel says. 

“Yeah, they wanna go to the zoo as well.” 

“I love the zoo!” She practically squeals, startling pretty much everyone. 

“Isabel want to come to zoo,” I tell the boyfriends. They smile and nod. 

Which is how we ended up with Farlan being dragged around by Izzy at the zoo a couple days later. It's nice to see them both again and neither of them talk much about our past together which is nice. Isabel has a job at the veterinary clinic near where they live and Farlan is working as an airport clerk.

Apparently they both enjoy their work. It's nice to focus on the present and the plans for the future. Farlan is in line for a managerial promotion soon, so he informs me I won't need to send as much money as I have been. I’m reluctant to agree but at the same time it helps me out a lot back home. 

“Hey,” Erwin nudges Eren. “A man walks into a zoo and the only animal there is a dog.” 

“Are you trying to be funny or something?” Eren says with a wry smirk. 

“It was a Shitzu,” he says with a little self satisfied smile. Eren rolls his eyes. 

“Your jokes don't get better,” he says as we walk into the reptile house. 

“They can't get worse,” I tell him, to which Eren laughs. Unfortunately Russia isn't big on public displays of affection, as much as I want to just take one of their hands as we walk. I settle for walking beside them, shoulders brushing occasionally or letting Eren lean into my personal space to get a good look at whatever it is we’re looking at. 

Erwin spends most of his time with Eren, given they don't speak Russian and I spend whatever time isn't spent translating with Farlan, chatting shit and generally having a good day out. Isabel entertains herself quite well, interacting with the kids at the exhibits and sparking up conversations with strangers. 

The rest of the holiday is spent being dragged around the city visiting museums, the palace, historical sites like the warship on the river and a few other places like art galleries and endless restaurants. Erwin is on a mission to try everything on the menu wherever we go. Thankfully he finds a dish he likes and demands I make it for him when we get home. 

I wouldn't mind doing some cooking for him. Maybe that's a good idea for a date night. 

I manage to meet with Ma another two times for dinner and I end up pawning Eren and Erwin off on a history museum for a few hours while I go and visit home at the Bed and Breakfast. 

I’m weary as I enter, eyes scanning for signs of anything untoward that might be happening there. It seems cleaner and lighter and they have definitely painted since I left. The furniture is mostly the same and the smell hasn't changed.

I see Ma still has a small swarm of cats. I avoid them. I wonder if she still has the dog. She was a puppy when I left just over a year ago. When I hit the back staff room and annex the family live in, I hear barking. 

The now huge Moscow watchdog spots me and barks happily, bounding over to me, tail wagging as she whines with excitement. I crouch over to greet her, rubbing her ears and neck. She's so big now I can barely hold myself upright as she jumps against me. 

“Annushka, you’re so big!” I tell her, rubbing her fur. She's got a black collar on with her name tag reading ‘Anna’. “Such a good girl, aren't you?” I smile, giving her a cuddle. I love dogs. Ma comes in as I'm fussing over Nushka and smiles at me.

“No boys with you?” 

“No. They’re at the gallery today.” 

“They seem nice,” she says. “Can I get you a drink?” 

“Oh, I brought tea from England,” I tell her, standing to Anna’s complaint and fishing the tin out of my bag with a tea strainer I bought over as a gift. 

“Thank you,” she says, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. She seems as well as can be, all things considering. “Are you going to visit more often or will you be too busy with your new company?” 

“If I get up and running I’ll be the boss so I can come when I want.” 

She smiles and Anna brushes up against my leg. I can feel her tail flapping against the back of my knees.

“Anna’s grown big,” I say, petting her ears.

“She's a nuisance. Take her with you,” Ma says, meaning it. I smirk. 

“Don't tempt me. I’ll do it.” 

“I'm not going to have time to walk her as much,” she explains. “Or the strength.” 

“How is the treatment so far?” 

“It's not fun, but the doctors say it's going well. They got all of the lump out so it's just a matter of killing it off now.” She puts the tea together and once the pot is brewing she takes me through to the back living room separate to the guest one. Anna follows and parks herself right next to me on the sofa with her huge hairy butt up against my side. 

“She's missed you. I mean it if you want her,” she says. “She’ll only go to a home otherwise.”

“You’re getting rid of her?” 

“Well it's not like I wanted to. She likes you more than us though. They do the vet paperwork at Pulkovo. She's had all her vaccinations.” 

“I’ll have to ask Eren and Erwin.” 

“Okay, you have a couple more days, think about it hm?” 

“Sure. I’ll ask.” 

We have a quick catch up over tea and it's far more pleasant knowing that Kenny hasn't been around for ages and it doesn't look like he's coming back. The police rattled him so he fled to the Middle East apparently. 

She informs me that the building has remained clean since I left and that business was doing okay with guests. It's a lot less awful catching up than I thought it would be. Sure, there's a lot of unresolved shit I’m holding onto but with Eren and Erwin’s help I've been letting go of grudges one at a time.

“You seem different,” she says to me with a tender smile. “You’re happy, right?” 

“Yeah, I think I am.” 

“Good. Well, I won't keep you longer than I need to. I made you some food to take home so make sure you come and get it before you fly out. Take Anna with you too.” 

“I’ll ask.” 

“I’ll get the kennel ready.” 

There's really no arguing with Ma. 

We part ways and I head back to the hotel. Eren’s taking a nap and Erwin is watching a movie on his laptop in the sitting room. I sit beside him and lean against his shoulder, stealing an earphone so I can listen to the movie as well. He switches the English subtitles on for me and we get comfortable. 

I don't fall asleep through this one since it was almost done and we’re only sat there for about thirty minutes. Eren comes back through when it's done and he's looking well rested. 

“Sleep well?” 

“Yeah, thanks.” 

“I have question for you two,” I tell them. 

“What's up?” 

“I speak to my mum and she want me to take her dog.” 

They look at each other. Erwin is smiling. 

“She is big dog though.” 

“We love dogs. I'm sure it will be okay, what do you think Erwin?” 

“How old is she?” 

“Uh, one and half.” 

Eren sits on the sofa and looks like it's fucking Christmas. “I can take her for my runs.”

“Is she house trained?” 

“Yes, very good behave dog. Is Moscow guard dog. Cross of Shepherd and St. Bernard.” 

“Wow, a big breed.” 

“Is okay?” 

Erwin hums as he considers it. “I'm sure we can handle her.” 

“Sorry for burden you with this. She not take no for answer or she give her to pound. Think about for two days and we see on last day?” 

“Yeah, sure. Is there any paperwork to do to get her brought to the UK?” 

“I think is make sure she is vaccinated, which she is. Just to get document from airport vet. I not sure about England side.” 

“I can look into it,” Erwin says, tapping away on his laptop. I turn to Eren when he does that, fishing out my phone and scrolling through my old photos. I show him a picture of her as a puppy. She's a fluffy creamy white and light brown colour with big brown eyes and a chocolate brown face. Eren swoons straight away.

“She is bigger now. I think she get bigger too. Maybe we can have kennel in garden. She used to the cold,” I tell him. Eren grins and swipes through the photos of Isabel holding her in her lap. She was a big puppy too, but I think they’ll be surprised when they see her in person. 

“Ma want me to pick up her food for me. She cook enough to feed a army.” 

“Aw that's so nice. She seems nice. How did earlier go?” 

“It was good I think. She seem okay.” 

“Great,” Eren says, handing the phone back. 

We end up meeting back up with Farlan and Isabel at the B&B and Erwin and Eren get to meet Anna. She is on guard with new people and stands her ground, barking at them both when they both come into the back room. I can see she's excited to see me but is being wary of the new humans. 

“Annushka sweety, this is Eren and Erwin,” I introduce them in Russian and go over to pet her. She sniffs at the air, still on guard as the two come in and Farlan gestures for them to sit down while he gets some snacks together. 

Eren looks like a miracle just happened. I never knew he liked dogs this much. 

“This is Anna,” I tell them. Eren crouches down and assumes the ‘here puppy’ pose, hand held out to see if she’ll come close. She doesn't. She could probably smell him when he entered the house. She doesn't need to sniff his hand to get a feel for him. She's happy enough with me being near her so she barges past Erwin to get to the sofa before he sits down, taking up most of the damn thing. 

I click my fingers and point to the floor and she obeys, getting down so Erwin can sit down. She sits next to my legs and leans heavily against me. I remember her being significantly lighter as a puppy. To think, she's not done growing yet.

“Levi, come here Levi!” Ma calls from the kitchen, leaving the pair of Russians to try and converse with the pair of Englishmen. Eren's getting good at using his translating tool so they pass his phone around to converse when they don't understand each other.

Ma has a heap of food for me and I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to get it back in one piece. The trip is only about six hours, so hopefully it will stay frozen. I will pick it up on the way to the airport and say my farewells.

Ma cooks lunch for us under her insistence and it's not nearly as awkward having these two with the family back home as I thought it would be. We’re due to fly out tomorrow morning so we spend the last night at one of the restaurants we enjoyed during our stay, had a few glasses of wine and sat by the river watching the fireworks go off from the other side. 

I've come to terms with the uncertainty that comes with Ma’s cancer and I've apparently fallen in love with two massive morons. Massive, sexy morons.

It's not perfect, but life’s going alright for once.


	19. Chapter 19

Turns out importing a pet is easy enough, given they are healthy and have had all of their vaccinations. Fortunately Anna manages to avoid quarantine, so we’re able to get her home straight away. There are a few things to put in place as soon as we get back, such as the copious amounts of frozen food Ma sends me home with as well as dog food and a kennel.

I insist on paying for anything relating to her keeping. Erwin tries to help but he yields to my insistence eventually. Ma offered to send her bed with her but one look at the disgusting thing and I told her no to her face. I did bring a few of her toys and blankets though, so she won't feel out of place with nothing that smells like her. It seems to work in keeping her calm on the way home. Isabel cried when she found out she was coming to England but agreed on the choice wholeheartedly. 

It takes Anna about a week to settle and about two weeks to get used to Erwin and Eren. I’d say she's settling well and obeys my orders to stay off the furniture which is a bonus. Thankfully since the garden goes on for miles she's got a lot of space to roam free should she wish. 

She seems to prefer staying in her outdoors kennel throughout the summer but she becomes particularly fond of the rug in the living room between the coffee table and the TV as well as the spot right at the bottom of the stairs, the kitchen floor and the front door. So basically everywhere in the way. 

Onwards however to the next exciting endeavour in my life: surviving a summer with Nile.  
A whole fucking summer. 

“I think I do something bad in my last life,” I say with an amused snort. Erwin rolls his eyes at me. Eren’s taken Anna for his hour long run today, early in the morning before work while it's still cool. We’ve been having a decent summer so far, temperatures tickling the twenties for a few weeks consistently. 

“Sorry,” I say when Erwin doesn't respond, looking troubled. 

“No, sorry, it's not you, Levi.” 

“I don't mean to be asshole to him but he make it so easy.”

“I'm hoping it's a phase,” he says with a laugh. I smirk.

“He a good kid,” I say, only to hear his voice behind me. It takes a second for me to understand what he means until I realise he's correcting me.

“He _is_ a good kid.” 

I hum, taking in the information. “English grammar,” I mutter. “Is bane of my life.” 

“Is _the_ bane of my life,” he corrects me again. I feel a pang of embarrassment and annoyance but the penny drops in that moment, and the universe provides me with an idea. 

Later on, when Erwin’s gone to work and Eren’s dropped off Anna, I head to the living room where Nile is lying on the sofa. Anna flaps her tail against the wood floor but makes no effort to get up.

“Lazy fucker,” I tell her in Russian and she just stares at me happily. I turn to look at Nile and never before has a phrase been so applicable to two beings at one time. 

“Eh?” He says. 

“I have idea.” 

“Eh?” 

“You tell Erwin you have girlfriend yes?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“You get any yet?” 

“Eh?” He says dumbly. Jesus does this hairy child know any proper words?

“I teaching you Russian to get into girlfriend’s panties and you teaching me English to get into your dad’s,” I propose, expression neutral as I crouch to scratch Anna’s ears. She rolls over like the huge fluff lump she is and thus belly rubs ensue.

Nile narrows his eyes at me. “Thanks for a mental image I didn't need,” he says. I smirk at him. I love annoying him, but if we have mutual needs and skills to get the other what they want, why not utilise those skills?

I’ll gladly form an alliance with Nile if it means I can function in society a little better and maybe even learn a few dirty words to whisper to his dad. 

“I'm a crap teacher though,” he tells me. I cheer on the inside, vuvuzelas and all. He wants to take the offer up. Nile 14, Levi 17. Not that I've been keeping score or anything over these last eight or nine months. It keeps me entertained whenever he's here. 

“You have seventeen years more experience,” I deadpan. 

“I wasn't talking when I was born you know,” he retorts. 

“Ugh, you know what is I mean.” Little cockwaffle. Eat a dick, Nile. “You will do or not?” I glare at him. 

“Fine.” 

Definitely worth the seventeenth point. 

So that's how we end up spending the afternoon in Nile’s room- which is thankfully clean, all thanks to me.

He digs out a few old textbooks and tells me I can have them since they’re old, and he goes through a few things he learnt at school recently. I understand a lot of it, but struggle with grammar. I'm getting better at speaking English but I can't spell for shit, so I rarely write things down unless in my native tongue. 

I even wrote a shopping list for Eren and had a complete brain fart, writing the whole fucking thing in Russian. 

“Thanks by the way,” Nile says. 

“What for?” I haven't taught him anything yet. 

“Keeping the place clean and not telling my dad about Marie..” he mumbles the last part but I can't help but find myself smiling slightly. 

“Is okay- oh. It _is_ okay.” See, I did learn something. I just have to remember to do it now. 

“Your English has gotten a lot better you know,” he says as we close the books up and head downstairs for a drink and snack break. 

“Yeah?” I ask. I hadn't really been aware of it but now he mentions it I have been a lot more comfortable these last few months. 

“Yeah, you still sound like Dracula though,” he teases. We’ve had the ‘Dracula is Hungarian’ argument too many times for me to take that bait any more. I just flip him a choice finger and he laughs. Literally laughs. He doesn't sneer or pout. He laughs.

Hell has frozen over ladies and gents. Nile might actually be tolerable. 

We get ourselves some food out and sit at the island with a notepad and pen. I write out the Russian alphabet, since that's the first place Nile had me start with the English. He stares at it like I've just asked him to slide a carrot up his bum and hop around like a rabbit. 

“It won't bite,” I snort. 

“Aw man, why’s it gotta be so confusing?” 

“Is easy, you just got to practice. Tell me what you know already.” 

He sits there, wriggling in his fucking chair as if there was already a carrot in a questionable place that he's not telling me about. Now he's shy? Fucking teenagers. 

“Alright, so sorry if I pronounce these horribly wrong.. but there's ‘waffle sofa’ and ‘scarf delicious’”.

I usually pride myself on my ability to keep a straight face, but hot damn I'm in fucking stitches. He's glaring at me but I can't control my laughter. He looks just as surprised at the fact I have the ability to smile, let alone laugh. 

“Marie has teach you these?” 

“No, why? What do they mean?” 

“Uh, well…” I tell him and he looks mortified. 

“The guys at school told me it meant something totally different! No wonder Marie thinks I'm an idiot.” 

I snicker, endlessly amused. 

“You try to tell Marie heh? No wonder she think you stupid. Let me teach you _real_ Russian…” 

Which is exactly how Nile ended up with a perfect hand print across his cheek the next day. 

“Asshole, I’m not talking to you,” he tells me when he gets back from his training, stomping upstairs when I fail to contain my laughter. Nile 14, Levi 18. 

I may or may not have taught him to ask Marie to show him her cock. I said she’d find it really sexy. In an endearing way of course. 

The following day I'm in a rush to leave for work and Nile has moved all the fucking teabags to the top shelf. I don't have time to be climbing on the counters in my pressed uniform so I leave it, ending up getting a god awful cup of crap at a petrol station. 

I get him back by filling the bathroom cabinet with excess amounts of shaving supplies. Senor Pube and his murkin business is still going strong. When he asks me why the cabinet is full of razors and shaving cream I merely tell him I wouldn't want him getting into any ‘hairy’ situations when Marie finally gets to look at his tiny dick. 

I may or may not convince him Russian women love a shaved man and this results in me hiding every moisturizing lotion in the house and watching as he discreetly itches at himself for a few days. 

He returns the favour by locking Anna in my bedroom for half a day. The whole fucking room stinks like dog and I end up washing everything twice. 

So I lace his dinner with enough chilli to give an elephant hemorrhoids. I even place a roll of toilet paper in the fridge with his name written on it. 

The most consistent thing Nile does is leaving crusty cutlery in the sink. It drives me mad. 

Thankfully the summer break goes by quickly and Nile only comes to stay every other weekend after that. I have to admit though, despite our antics, we get along a lot better now which Erwin likes to see. I do teach him some honest Russian and so things with Marie seem to go well for him. He teaches me a lot of English too, so I'm left feeling much more confident with everyone I encounter. 

Marie even comes round for dinner in the autumn and we just chat shit with each other in Russian when no one pays us any attention. She's great. 

Ma’s hair all falls out with the chemo so I send her a scarf for her birthday. She seems to be responding to the treatment well. It still doesn't quell the worry. I’ve gotten over my grudges just in case she does take a turn for the worse. It's not worth hating her for shit that happened in the past. It's done with so I'm trying my best to be a responsible adult or some crap like that. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” I say in my best English accent as I'm cleaning the ensuite sink. “Please put the toilet seat down,” I say to myself, practicing. “Please put the toilet seat down,” I repeat, accentuating each and every word as I start working on the toilet. I hear a snicker behind me and I poke my head back out the door to find Eren going through his wardrobe for his work shirt. 

“Your English is getting pretty good,” he tells me when he's dressed and on the approach. I continue with the toilet. 

“And remember...” I tell him with a smile as I finish wiping the toilet down, “...to put the toilet seat down.” 

“Duly noted,” he says. I snap my gloves off and head out of the bathroom to give Eren a hug. 

“You smell like bleach,” he says. 

“You smell like detergent.” 

“Between us we smell clean.” 

“Speaking of clean, I submitted the form for my business.” 

“Already? That was quick.” 

“I didn't sleep.” 

“At all?” 

“Eh, not a lot.”

Eren hugs me tighter, rubbing my back. Sure I had finally got myself a day job but the insomnia hasn't fixed itself completely. The most I can sleep a night is five hours on a good day. Usually it's between three and four hours.

“Do you just lay in bed or something?” 

“If I sleeping with you two, yes.” 

“Have you tried going to the doctor about it?” 

I get the feeling he's going to insist if I say no. “I don't need to,” I tell him stubbornly. He just pulls back and frowns at me. Fuck, he's worried now. “But if you want I will.” 

“Whatever suits you, I just don't want you getting sick on us ‘cause you can't sleep.” 

“Fine.” 

“Great,” Eren kisses me on the cheek and lets me get back to work as he gets ready to go out. 

I visit home for Christmas and there's still a common unspoken fear that this could be Ma’s last. Regardless of that it's quite nice to visit again and I decide it wouldn't hurt to visit more often if I can afford it. So I do. Erwin and Eren don't always come with me, but as Farlan and Isabel’s English improves the visits get easier each year. 

The thing that really makes the end of the year is getting my business set up. I get all of the paperwork and ‘Squad Levi’ comes to life, albeit with only one person on the payroll to begin with. 

I focus mainly on recruiting other Europeans in London looking for similar opportunities and Petra even offers her services part time. The guys Eld, Gunther, Oluo and Mike all seem keen to help out too, helping me with expanding my client base. 

Hange is a batshit accountant I end up hiring a year later and everyone seems content with their work and wages. Erwin was right, raising the prices was a good idea. It covers the expenses nicely but the services aren't unreasonable. 

Anyway, after six months of pulling my hair out, Hange gets the manager position so I can get back out and clean again, which is what I love doing the most. 

As for Eren and Erwin, I can't see them going anywhere for the foreseeable future, so it looks like I'm sticking around a while longer.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember... [THIS?!](http://agent-2-6.tumblr.com/post/155496020030/petra-said-wear-a-jacket-to-your-date-with-eren).

So it's three years down the line and Ma’s hair has started growing back. We all made fun of her when it was all fluffy and thin but she's thankfully in remission now. The tumour was removed and has shown no sign of growing back which is a relief. 

Business is booming which means I've been able to offer a house to Ma and my siblings to move to England if they want. Farlan and Isabel are fine with it but Ma wants to learn a little more English before, despite us all telling her it's fine. It’s better than mine was when I first moved. 

I've got jobs in the office or out cleaning if they do wish, but Farlan is convinced he wants a job outside the family so he doesn't have to withstand Isabel more than he needs to. He's easily convinced when I tell him the British women are good looking. 

Speaking of the office I managed to let a small office to keep all of my paperwork out of Erwin’s hair, and give myself a good base to work from. The squad now has a small fleet of ten small vans and three large vans for employees to drive. We’ve got uniforms and everything is ticking along nicely. 

Things with Eren and Erwin are better than ever. I’m pretty damn happy. Life has no drama or struggles and I’ve got a firm foundation to stand on now. Life is good. Still challenging in places, but it’s good. Keeps me on my toes. 

Speaking of just how good life is, I'm currently enjoying a twenty-something degree day in August, gardening with Eren on the patio teaching Erwin a few exercises and doing a spot of interval training, going up against each other sprinting to the back of the yard and back. Anna is happily running alongside them, trying to get ahead of them and play, barking when they double back and run the opposite direction from her. 

I get a whistle from Eren when he runs past and I turn from my spot in the bushes to see him running back to the house. When he runs back again he shouts breathily for me to take my shirt off. 

“Only if Erwin beats you next round!” I yell back, grinning. I still have my accent but my English is pretty fluent now, thanks in a big way to Nile. Erwin nods and throws me a thumbs up and I roll my eyes and get back to work. 

I glance back over to spot them doing squats and teasing each other, Eren in particular making old man jokes which Erwin takes in his stride. Eren can somehow make any insult sound endearing to either of us. Nile still calls me Dracula and I still call Nile Senor Pube. 

I hear loud thudding a few seconds later and Erwin is sprinting like I've never seen him before. He must really want that shirt gone. I pull the fabric away from my chest and flap it away from my back to cool me down a little. It’s pretty hot and sweaty so it would be nice to take it off. 

Erwin wins, what a shame. 

They take their minute breather and their eyes are on me. I smirk and stand up and out of the bushes, peeling a glove off and twirling it around before dropping it to the grass. Eren is hunched over and drenched in sweat and Erwin doesn't look much better. Eren gives me a whistle as I take the other glove off and twirl around, teasing the hem up a little and glancing over my shoulder.

“Such a tease,” he says just within earshot. I’m halfway down the yard after all. I still work out, and if I do say so myself I'm damn pleased with my back, so make sure to wriggle out of my shirt nice and slow. 

Annushka runs over to me panting and investigates the gloves I dropped, wagging her tail as I remove my shirt, draping it over her back with a grin. I stand up to stretch and look down at my gardening work before bending over to pick my gloves up. I make very deliberate eye contact when I'm bent all the way over. 

Thanks to these two I'm much more self confident now, especially regarding my apparent sexual prowess. I’d never have thought I was attractive, but several years with two doting morons loving the shit out of me has built my self worth immensely. 

Not only am I lucky as fuck to have these two in my life, but they’re damn lucky to have me too. 

“Are you done yet Levi?” Erwin asks. Eren nudges his arm and hands him a water bottle. 

“Almost,” I yell. 

“Shall we finish up soon and get a snack?” 

“Depends what boss man says,” I say, pointing briefly at Eren who looks at his watch. 

“We can stretch after one more circuit. Reckon you’ll be done by then Lee?” 

“Yeah.” 

Once we’re all finished and Anna is lying under the bushes enjoying the shade, we meet back up at the conservatory and I make sure to top up Anna’s water bowl by her kennel. We’re all plenty smelly and a quick shower is agreed upon by all. 

Once we’re all clean and resting in the cool of the living room with the patio doors wide open, Erwin arrives with tea. 

“Are you both still good for dinner tonight?” 

“You betcha!” Eren says and I simply nod, eager to get my tea in me. 

Erwin recently had a big promotion at work thanks to someone retiring and so he wanted to take us out to dinner to celebrate. He’s taking us to some posh place in the city near his work. Apparently he always goes there for business breakfasts with clients so the staff know him well enough to always give him all sorts of discounts. Just because he earns big bucks doesn't mean he spends big bucks. He's very sensible like that. He's definitely taught me a lot about money management and investment, especially regarding my business. 

“Great, you both have something to wear?” He asks for the ninth time. He's been drilling it into us that it's formalwear so Eren and I went to town a few weeks back to select a couple of tuxedos for the occasion. 

“Yes,” we both echo at the same time. 

“Great. We’ll leave at about five-thirty since the table’s booked for six-thirty.” 

“Yes, we know,” Eren says with a tinge of endearment. 

“Sorry I just want tonight to go well.” 

“Why wouldn't it? We’ve been out to dinner endless times,” I deadpan, seeming to put him at ease. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” 

Eren puts a movie on and I cuddle up beside him, making it as far as twenty minutes before I’m asleep. These days my sleep is pretty routine. I tend to get around six hours a night plus a nap in the afternoon on days off like this. 

Eren stroking my hair as the movie starts only helps to send me straight to sleep and I find myself waking up to Eren also asleep and the TV off. Erwin is still sat by my feet, leaning back against the sofa with his eyes shut. I glance over at the time and realise it's only been about forty-five minutes. 

I nudge Erwin gently with my foot and he stirs, looking over at me sleepily. There’s just enough space so I hold a hand out to him. He slumps to his side up against my hip and wraps his arm around my thighs, getting comfortable. 

Waking up sandwiched used to really bother me but nowadays it reassures me. I like it much more than I used to, but I do get a bit too hot sometimes, especially in the summer. I give the two a good push and crawl out from between them, only to have Erwin grab my arm and pull me back down, waking Eren up and pinning me to the sofa, kissing my neck. 

“Ach! Get off!” He doesn't. 

Eren leans over too and smothers me with kisses. The world has gone dark and all I can bloody see are these two morons. I squirm in an attempt to get away but I'm not really as bothered as I make out and they both know it. Once they’re done snickering to themselves they eventually cease their attack. 

“Seriously though I’m hot, let me go,” I tell them, feeling the heat from their nap-warmed bodies all over me. “I’ve already showered twice today thanks,” I gripe playfully as I get up. 

“I’m gonna get dressed.” 

“Alright. We’d better too.” 

“Unless you are both going to a different restaurant yes, that is a good idea.” 

We tend to our appearances and Erwin insists we get a taxi for tonight since he will probably fancy a little bit to drink since the wine is nice there. 

The driver takes us about half an hour somewhere into the city centre, north of the river from what I can decipher. Despite living here for about five or six years I still don't know my way around very well. I don't exactly take time off to go sightseeing. 

The cab stops in a posh neighbourhood. I vaguely recall the building architecture from when I visited Erwin at work. It's the same part of town. We get out and the restaurant has a cream awning donned with elegant script font reading ‘The Magnolia’. It looks very regal, walls on the inside light marble with pillars and plush cream carpeting. 

“Must be a pain to keep this clean,” I muse aloud as Erwin leads us indoors. Eren snickers and we wait back while Erwin confirms our reservation. 

“Have you been here before?” I ask Eren who is staring at everything with a childlike look of wonder. He shakes his head slowly, lips splitting into a grin when Erwin’s host leads them toward a broad corridor that reads ‘Ballroom’. 

“Ballroom? Erwin you know I can't dance,” I tell him nervously, trying my best to keep my cool given how much gel is slicking my hair back right now. I managed to get it all back off my face, giving me and my tuxedo a very elegant look. I look pretty damn sexy tonight but that still doesn't mean I can dance. 

“Don't worry,” he tells me as he takes my hand, smiling. 

The ballroom is incredible. Everything is paved with a light creamy marble with delicate light green and blue patterns throughout the stonework whilst the tables and restaurant are all positioned around the outside of the dance floor. 

The main spectacle is the huge magnolia tree in the centre which is adorned with hundreds of tiny little white lights. I feel a finger on my chin prompting me to close my mouth and Eren grins at me. I smack his arm lightly in mock-complaint. There is a small area for string instrumentalists who are playing violins and a cello as a male and female ballet couple dance in the centre. 

I didn't even know places like this existed until now. 

We are led to a table along the edge of the dance floor. The chairs are angled so that we’re facing each other with a side view of the dance floor should we wish. The tableware is immaculately laid out on white linens and the chairs are upholstered in a comfortable cream suede. 

The silverware is probably silver, judging by their weight when we finally sit down. The service is impeccable. Menus are set before us and when the waiter leaves I'm still looking around at the place. My attention is only brought back to Eren when he leans over and waves for Erwin to do the same, holding his phone out for a selfie with all three of us. 

“This place is amazing…” Eren says. Erwin just smiles and nods. 

“And you bring clients here for lunch?” 

“Yes, although it's a lot less regal during the day. They have a separate restaurant only for lunches and open this part up for the evenings. 

“It's amazing,” Eren says. I nod and agree, looking down at the menu. 

“Treat yourselves tonight boys,” Erwin says happily. His new salary is in the six digits for the first time in his life. 

“Yeah, we can afford to splash out a little bit now,” Eren says, rubbing his hands together before gripping onto his menu, excited. Erwin just smiles and nods. The sommelier comes over and presents our wine, allowing us all a taste before agreeing it's fine, half-filling the glasses more elegantly than I thought was possible. The guy is only holding the bottle with a couple of fingers, wrapped in a white cloth. 

“Do you know what you’re going to have?” Eren asks me. I point to the beef with seasonal vegetables. There's a bunch of other things that go with it but it looks like fancy mashed potato and vegetables with a chunk of lean meat. 

“What about you Erwin?” 

“I’m feeling quite indulgent tonight,” he says with a little smirk, looking excited at the prospect. “I’m probably going to go for the lobster. You?” 

“Gotta look after my figure,” Eren says with a chuckle, patting his firm abdomen. “I’m gonna go with the sole.” 

“Sounds good.” 

They bring over a bread basket and a million other little dishes of nibbles between our starters and mains and I now understand Erwin’s request to eat light and work out today. It's a lot of food, and it takes us a good two hours to get through all of the courses. 

Dessert comes in the form of a delicate apple bake thing. It's crispy and fluffy and I have no idea what the drizzled green goo is around the side but the whole thing is delicious. The waiter assures me there is no butter in it. The whole meal has been fantastic, so when we’re finally done eating and they bring the cheese board out, I sit back and watch the pair nibble at the selection. 

“I don't know how you can eat more,” I tell them, gladly passing on the cheese. Fancy cheese or not, I'm not ruining these tuxedo pants. 

We toast to Erwin’s success with our final glass of wine and Erwin settles the bill. We all agree on going for a walk afterwards to walk off the food babies. 

Our stroll in the warm summer evening takes us to a small, elegant park in the nearby affluent neighborhood. We make one round and Eren takes a seat on a bench beneath a neatly trimmed willow tree. For being in the city it's fairly quiet, the evening songbirds are finishing their rounds and the world is starting to calm down. 

I join Eren to his left and Erwin sits on his right. 

“So Levi,” Erwin says, pulling my attention away from the birds in the trees. “We actually had an ulterior motive for coming to dinner,” he says. 

“Eh?” 

Erwin nudges Eren and he fishes through his jacket pocket, pulling out a navy textured box, popping it open to reveal a ring. It consists of two subtle bands of gold woven together, much like their own wedding rings. 

I just stare at it for a long moment, taking the box from Eren who is grinning like a Cheshire cat. I guess this really means I’m sticking around for good. I’d stopped doubting it lately, but this is just the confirmation I need. 

“I know we haven't exactly talked about it, but as you know we’re not technically married, so if you ever needed the security we’re more than happy to volunteer,” Erwin informs me. I don't know why I expected him to come out with something stupidly romantic but I guess that's just not his style. He's a businessman at heart. I still find it endearing though. 

“I think what Erwin meant to say is we love you and we want you to join our family for good,” Eren says, rolling his eyes at Erwin with a fond smile. 

I'm nodding before words can come to me and I feel the wetness in my eyes when I blink as Eren hugs me. I’m quick to bury my face into his shoulder and I'm grinning when we part, eager to try the ring on. 

We’ve had countless lazy moments where on a few occasions I'd try their rings on for grins and giggles so it's no surprise that this one fits perfectly. Three people can't exactly legally partner but the gesture means the world to me. Even Erwin offering if it, were something I wanted, they were okay with it means everything to me. 

I’m quite content to stay as we are. 

“So was that a yes?” Eren teases. I smack his shoulder and wipe my eyes. 

“Yes you idiot.” 

I lean over to give Eren a quick kiss before getting up to do the same for Erwin. I can tell by the way they reluctantly let go that they’d prefer to kiss me for longer. They’re both beaming, though. I look at the ring again and can't stop smiling. I sit back down between the two of them and they both link an arm with me, sitting close. The park is quiet and we just spend a long moment in silence, soaking everything up. The dinner, their proposal of sorts, the last few years. It's all been so amazing since meeting these two. 

“I would like to propose an engagement party at some point,” Erwin says. 

“One where you don't get drunk and challenge my mother to a dance-off?” Eren retorts across me. I just smirk at their bickering. 

“She accepted!” Erwin says. It's still hard to imagine Carla as the wild partygoer type. I always had such stern mental images based off what Eren told me about her. Until I met her of course. I don't think she ever quite grew out of the seventies. 

“That doesn't mean it's okay to embarrass me in front of my entire family. Mikasa had that disappointed parental frown on her face the whole night.” 

“Pfft,” Erwin nudges me, snickering to himself. He's a bit of a shit stirrer when he wants to be. Thinks he can charm himself out of any situation just by hypnotically waggling those bushy eyebrows of his. “I’ll behave if Levi wants me to.” 

“Don't drag me into this!” I complain playfully. 

“It's gonna be your party. You get to call the shots,” Eren tells me. “We’ve already had an engagement party and reception.”

“Without an actual wedding,” I add. 

“Overrated,” Erwin says as he laughs softly. Eren agrees with him and I roll my eyes. 

“That's the thing about engagement parties though,” I tell them both, feeling like I'm scolding a pair of children. “The point is to sort of celebrate for everyone involved?” 

“And?” Eren says, linking our fingers and kissing the back of my hand, then my cheek. 

“It's just as much for you as it is for me.” 

“What about me?” Erwin teases, feigning hurt which earns him an elbow to the ribs. He laughs and clings back onto my arm as Eren thumbs over the ring on my hand in his. 

“Shall we head back soon?” I ask.

“I booked our return cab back for.. about ten minutes time?” 

“Let's get back to the restaurant then,” Eren says, standing up and making his way back to The Magnolia, my hand still attached to his own with little regard for the walking pace he sets. I try to dig my heels in and slow him down but he just grips onto my hand tighter and pulls me along. 

Eventually I slow him down enough throughout our mucking around for him to stop and wrap his arms around me, trying to lift me and walk along the quiet street with me complaining at him to let me down. Erwin is doing nothing to help, laughing heartily from behind us. 

We make it back just in time to find our driver, laughing as we get into the back seat. As soon as the door is shut Eren is on me, pressing himself against me and pushing me against Erwin’s side as he kisses me roughly. I can't tell if the driver is looking our direction but he doesn't seem bothered much since Erwin seems to be keeping him busy with small talk. 

I don't have much time to admire Erwin’s ability to get to know a person because Eren’s insistent little hands are slinking beneath my dinner jacket and his thumbs are brushing against my nipples, the soft fabric of the shirt doing wonderful things to me. I groan softly into his mouth and his tongue penetrates past my lips to have its way with mine. 

It's not long before Eren realises where we are- not that it usually stops him- and pulls back just enough to prevent my lips from bruising. He plants a couple of soft kisses to my cheek before releasing me, keeping close as we make the trip home. The driver chats to Erwin about life and the universe and everything in between, Eren’s finger trailing little circles over my hand distracting me from most of it.

We thank the guy and Erwin pays, Eren dragging me into the house like an excited child, despite the fact he's a grown ass man. 

“Eren, hold up a moment,” Erwin says when we get indoors. He looks at Erwin and makes a face. Erwin makes a face back at him and I've been around long enough to understand their telepathic abilities. Erwin doesn't want Eren to have all of the fun tonight- that's my read of the exchange. 

Erwin’s always been much more quiet and reserved about sharing his intentions and feelings whereas Eren has his everything on his sleeves at all times. 

Both styles of expression turn me on. Eren is heated and excitable and Erwin is calculated and deliberate. Both have their ups and downs but right now, Erwin is taking charge for the evening and I absolutely cannot wait to find out what he has planned. 

Like the old men we both are, despite Eren’s complaints, tea is the first port of call. I practically live at Fortnum’s these days, their teas are heavenly. I've been half tempted to start buying dried ingredients and starting to make my own bespoke mixes at home.

There's just times when I fancy a combination you don't get in the shops. Times like that I wish I could just make my own. 

Anna is excited to greet us as we shuffle into the house and toe our shoes off. She sniffs at us all and wags her tail, following us to the kitchen in the hope of attaining food. 

“Stop mooching,” I tell her in Russian, she whines at me and snorts, continuing with her insistent standing in the way. Eren slides the conservatory door open and proceeds to let her out. Once he returns he starts the pot of tea while Erwin presses me up against the kitchen island, hands on my shoulders as he rubs gentle circles into my collarbone. 

He presses his lips gently against mine and I feel his hands at my bow tie as I close my eyes. His movements are very slow and deliberate and he carefully undoes my tie and top button. I groan quietly against him and my hands slip around his waist, pulling at his tucked in shirt beneath his jacket. 

“Hey, I thought the kitchen was our thing Levi?” Eren says, clearly only having just noticed us. The curry night incident was only the start of certain dirty kitchen related shenanigans between Eren and I. Erwin just looks up at him and winks. I give him a little shrug and a smile before Erwin leans back down to kiss my now bare neck. 

I turn my attention back to Erwin and let out a quiet grunt of approval when I feel his large hand palming the front of my tux trousers. At this point in time I don't think we’re gonna make it to the tea. 

“Erwin, can't this wait?” Eren asks, but Erwin doesn't stop his assault on my neck. I feel him sucking hard for a long moment and by the time I realise what he’s doing and try to push him off, the damage is done. Erwin is good though, he’ll never mark me with hickeys anywhere visible. 

Not after the first one when I gave him the silent treatment for a week until it healed. It was the middle of the fucking summer and I wore a rollneck. I don't want the world knowing what lecherous creatures I have sucking on me in my spare time. It's not exactly professional looking. 

Out of sight, though, I couldn't care less. He could cover my chest in love bites in the shape of a massive shit and I couldn't give two fucks. 

Maybe _receive_ two fucks though, now there’s an idea. 

“The tea or the kisses?” Erwin asks innocently. I can practically hear Eren’s eyes rolling. 

“Well you can't have both at once,” he retorts. I bend my neck to look at Eren smirking at us with his arms folded and a tin of tea sitting on the counter beside the boiling kettle. Tea sounds really good right about now. I’ve gotten these two into herbal teas now, so we have a peppermint, chamomile and liquorice tea right after dinner usually. Apparently it helps with digestion. 

My morning dumps are usually pretty good so I guess I can't exactly complain. Not sure if it's the tea doing that though. 

My movement only gives Erwin more skin to kiss and nip and he helps himself while unbuttoning more of my shirt.

“Tea’s waiting, get upstairs you two,” Eren orders us. Neither of us disobey. By now I've managed to unwork Erwin’s bow tie and I grab both ends to pull Erwin with me toward the staircase. Eren follows.

“How do you wanna do this tonight?” Erwin asks against my skin as he looms over me atop the bed while Eren gets undressed slowly. My eyes are locked onto his tanned skin as he exposes himself and I lick my lips. 

“I want Eren...” I whisper to Erwin with a playful grin. “...and I want you to watch the terrible things I do to your husband.” 

Erwin visibly swallows at that and I lean up to kiss his cheekbone and ear, pulling the lobe into my mouth with my tongue and sucking on it gently. Erwin’s hips rock against mine slowly and firmly, making me moan softly against his ear. This is heavenly. 

“I suppose I’ll make myself comfortable then,” he says, leaning back and getting off the bed, leaving me lying there flushed red in the cheeks and hard in my tux pants. 

“What's the plan, Stan?” Eren asks, shucking off his shirt. I sit up and beckon him over. 

“So I get to choose tonight huh?” I ask in as sultry a tone as I can, toying with him for the moment. Eren is like warm, dairy free butter when I'm like this. He melts to my every whim. 

“You sure do, fiancé,” he says, resting the shirt and bow tie on the bed beside me. I pick the bow tie up and sling it around his neck, tying it up. 

“Well then, you’re gonna go take a shit and a shower while I take care of Erwin here. He’ll watch when you’re back and I’ll personally see that you don't walk right for a week. Sound like a ‘Stan plan’?” It’s Eren’s turn to swallow this time, and he obediently turns to grab a towel and strips the rest of the way down and practically dives into the shower. 

Erwin’s beautifully blue eyes are on me and he's pushing his mussed blond hair out of his eyes, sitting on the bedroom armchair I like to call ‘the throne’. 

I slide off the bottom of the bed and crawl over to him, hands slowly snaking up his legs, giving his thighs a good slow squeeze as high up as I can get. I never would have pegged myself as someone who might think of themselves as sexy, but damn I must look a right sight by now. 

“If Eren comes out before I'm done,” I start quietly, thankful that my hair gelled back keeps it out of my eyes for this, so I can slowly kiss along the bulge in his underwear while making eye contact. “Tell him to prepare himself while he watches.” 

Erwin nods and his mouth hangs open, a hand gently holding my neck and stroking the nape as I tend to the monster cock before me. My gag reflex has gotten much better over the years so now I'm fairly well attuned to the ways of Erwin’s hearty girth tickling my tonsils. 

I barely notice Eren returning and I register his reappearance when he groans from behind me, a most delicious throaty noise laced with all sorts of need and hunger. Erwin’s just happily letting me get on with getting him off. All good stuff. 

Erwin comes heavily and I manage to catch most of it in my hand, peppering the head with little kisses and licking the tip clean with a smirk. I'm not much into bodily fluids but if I really want to rile them up I’ll surprise them a bit by delving into it a tiny bit now and then. 

I release Erwin’s cock with a soft little pop after my tongue cleans out the come from his slit, tucking him back into his underwear as his cock slowly returns to it’s usual flaccidity. 

With said handful of come, I turn to Eren with a sinister look on my face and he rolls over to grab me a tissue. I gladly take it and wipe my hand as clean as I can be bothered to get it before tossing the tissue to the side and lying on top of Eren. I roll my hips and press our lengths together very slowly and deliberately, soaking up all the pleasant little noises he makes for us. 

“Ah, Levi, c’mere,” he breathes, hands pulling on my open shirt so he can kiss me firmly. 

My legs are propped to the sides of Eren’s hips and I make a point to turn my head away from him to look over at a still-sated Erwin watching us lazily. 

Eren smells like lemongrass and citrus fruits from the shower and I can't wait to make him smell like sweat and sex. I reach over his head for the lube and sit up, slicking a few fingers up and slipping them between his legs as I stroke his hard cock with my other hand. He mewls and whimpers as I breach him and start working my fingers in one at a time. 

“You like that huh?” I love being able to talk dirty in English. It's made our sex lives so much more spicy these days. It's great. 

“Erwin come over, I want you to get a really good look at your husband while I fuck him against your mattress,” I tell the latter part to Eren who quivers and exhales heavily, pupils blown wide with the pleasure currently wracking his body.

Erwin gets up like an excited kid and tucks himself up against the pillows while I thrust my fingers into Eren, stroking his inner walls and making him squirm as I very lightly brush his prostate. 

“Levi,” Eren pants almost desperately, tugging on my shirt firmly. “Kiss me, please,” he begs so nicely.

“How I can deny a request like that huh?” I coo softly, smirking against his lips as he locks his onto mine, legs curling around my thighs as I rock into his erection with my own. It won't be long before we’re a mess of limbs in the sheets and proceeding to wash each other gently in the shower, falling asleep in each other's arms.

Pure unadulterated filth followed by pure bliss.

I am one lucky son of a bitch. 

That night is a particularly memorable one, although entirely overshadowed by the night that comes when we have our mock wedding reception party. While not a technical marriage, we rent out one of our favourite gay bars for the night and they put a great show on for us with cake afterwards and everything. 

My brother and sister are there, Eren’s family and friends all show and Erwin’s brought a few friends from work since he's not massively close to many living relatives these days. Eren tells us to behave and proceeds himself to join the dancers on the poles. The night does feel more like your stereotypical stag do than a wedding reception, but either way it's good fun. Everyone I know and like is here and I don't have to worry about getting a bit drunk and making an arse of myself. 

As soon as we get home, full of cake and too many alcoholic bubbles, I stagger to the wardrobe and proceed to take all of my clothes off and I slip into my sexy little wind-breaking number from our first date.

“Remember thish?” I slur, smirking lopsidedly, flapping my junk at them with my hands in my pockets. Erwin’s eyebrows shoot up and Eren cackles most unattractively. 

Needless to say the following morning when we’ve all sobered up I find my windbreaker missing. Erwin tells me he took it away in the dead of night to murder it. He tells me it makes him ‘irrationally angry’ just looking at it. I tell him he wasn't saying that last night during the sex but then again I can't remember taking it off. 

I don't find it for another eight months, the following summer. 

Anna is outside in the yard sniffing around and starts barking as I'm sunning myself with Eren, drinking lemonade like a fucking married couple does. Erwin’s in the office upstairs working.

She starts digging a hole and that's when I get up to jog over to stop her and find out what she's ruining the fucking flowers for. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” I tell Nushka. “That fucker,” I say with a huge grin as Anna wags her tail and continues to paw at the brightly coloured monstrosity sticking out of the dirt. I have no fucking clue what it's made of but it still looks like it's in decent condition. No holes, just a bit of dirt. 

“Eren!” I try to call as quietly as possible so as to not draw attention to myself from upstairs. I grab the dirty jacket from Anna and run over to Eren with a humongous grin on my face. 

“Eren I found a corpse in the yard I’m gonna wash it off and wear it for Erwin! 

Eren’s look of utter confusion is pure gold. He looks up and his confusion melts into a shit eating grin. 

“Do it.” 

As soon as Erwin comes down an hour or so later to find that ugly ass jacket hanging in the yard drying in all it’s geometric green, orange and pink glory, he stares at Eren and I before glaring at Anna. 

She plods along, tail wagging and sits heavily up against Erwin’s legs as if she’d not just soiled his plans on keeping this fashion disaster off my back and out of his life. He hunches down and scratches her ears, frowning at her. 

“Traitor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also a huge thank you to Arlene0401 for proof reading and editing my past-tense blunders out of most of the chapters, as well as fuelling me to write more windbreaker-induced rage,
> 
> A thank you to Seraphichan for your encouraging reblobs and endless enthusiasm, and 
> 
> Sinmother. I'll just leave this dick shaped object here and pretend I did something awful with it. You're welcome. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, everyone, it's been a super fun fanfic! Enjoyed this one? Leave me a comment or a kudo, or check out my other works :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [Tumblr](http://agent-2-6.tumblr.com).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A man called lóšad](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10311314) by [Arlene0401](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/pseuds/Arlene0401)




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